A Curse of Shadows - Page 75

My sister is the most perfect being in all the world and I can’t stop myself from throwing my arms around her neck. “Thank you.”

Emotions choke me and those two words are all I can manage. The depth of my love for this woman only continues to grow with every passing day. Knowing that I have someone like her who isn’t afraid of being honest and vulnerable, who sees the world through rose-colored glasses, and who has a lack of filter at all the best and worst times…

She’s everything to me.

“I love you, too.” Estee chuckles, wiping at her cheeks. “Now, can you quit drowning me with love so that we can make a plan for tonight?”

I pull back but still keep a hold on her. “You want to try something tonight?”

Suddenly, I feel completely unprepared and a little shaky.

“Dad said there was a pack run scheduled for this evening,” she explains. “Every single wolf shifter within Polaris will be required to be in attendance, even if they don’t run. Asher will make a speech to the five hundred and something pack members before starting the run. Most of us will break off into groups, but I have a sneaking suspicion that the fact that I still can’t shift is going to throw me into a tailspin of grief and leaving me alone won’t be a good idea. I’m going to need my sister and Asher is going to need to lead his pack.”

While I have a feeling I know where she’s going with this, I still ask about her wolf first. “You had claw marks on your chest when we found you. How did…?”

Her face falls and she shakes her head. “I don’t really want to talk about that. Just know, I wasn’t trying to kill myself. I may have gone a little insane, thinking I could literally rip the pain from my heart, but it was nothing more than that.”

I hug her tighter than ever before. “I’m so sorry, Estee. I hate that you were hurting like that, all alone, and I didn’t come for you when I should have.”

“It’s okay,” she promises. “While my last life in Lunara is still fuzzy, I think being on my own was exactly what I needed, even if I lost my mind there at the end. But that’s only because I couldn’t see myself in the memories like you did. I didn’t consider the possibility that I wasn’t in control, but the moment you said my eyes weren’t normal, the relief was instant.”

I pull back before I suffocate her. “Good. You have no reason to blame yourself for what happened to me.”

“Oh, don’t get me wrong. I still feel guilty.” She heads to my closet that’s half-empty now since I’ve been staying in Asher’s room. “I should have been smart enough to avoid whatever had control of me, but I at least no longer think that I killed you. So, that’s something.”

I guess that’s acceptable. For now.

I follow her into the closet and watch as she goes to the back wall, opening the drawers that hold my jewels.

When she turns around, a crown hangs from her fingers. “Our plan starts the moment you walk out of this room.”

Leaning against the doorway, I return her grin. “Tell me more.”

“You’re going to play the role of yourself,” she says, tossing the crown at me. “You need to be the Queen of Polaris, Is.”

I catch the silver-and-diamond adornment, carefully holding it between my hands. “How is that going to help us?”

“Because someone either didn’t want you to be mates with Asher or to be queen.” She puts her own tiara on. “We’re going to rub their failure in their faces tonight. Asher will be forced to announce the fact that you two bonded without the typical ceremony and that you’re officially part of the Polaris monarchy. More importantly, you’re going to own that role like the fucking queen you were always meant to be.”

Oh. Oh.

“You think if we enrage our attacker, they’ll try to take us out again.”

She nods, stopping next at the fancier dresses I didn’t bother taking with me to Asher’s room. “Play your part and yes. I’ll be your weak sister who can’t cope with the shitstorm that’s been thrown at us and then, when we appear to be at our most vulnerable, we wait.”

I join her, grabbing a sleek, navy-blue silk gown from the rack. “They’re going to regret the day they messed with the Blackwood sisters.”

She nods, a spark of strength in her eyes. “I think that already happened when they were forced to kill me too.”

My head tilts. “What do you mean?”

“It was decades later that I died,” she says. “We weren’t both the original target. I might not remember exactly what happened those years after losing you yet, but I do know that there’s no way possible I would have rested until I learned why you were just gone. I still felt you in my heart, and yet you were nowhere to be found. Even if I don’t remember, I know I wouldn’t have let you go without a fight.”

“Wait.” I close my eyes, sorting through the knowledge I’ve begun to have access to. Estee just said that she still felt me in her heart. When we thought we were humans, we still shared a connection so strong that I was certain she was somehow my soul sister. That was before I even knew what that truly meant. I knew because it didn’t matter where we were, Estee and I were connected.

Elyn told me in that river that I had to die. That the old me was still alive. Could she have meant exactly what she said? Did I never truly die before?

“Holy shit,” I mutter, grabbing onto the shelf as a wave of dizziness overcomes me.