Deep in Desire - Page 23

Deborah turned with two cups of coffee in herhands. She set one in front of Holly and sat down across from her. “It’s just… I’m terrified. The public scrutiny, the judgment—it’s overwhelming.”

Holly reached across the table, taking Deborah’s hand. “You don’t have to face it alone. Listen, my mom’s upset, too. She had a huge fight with Nora about us. It’s a mess.”

Deborah looked down at their joined hands, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. “Holly, I don’t want to lose you, but I’m so scared. Our relationship already seems to be causing ripples all over the place. I want you so badly. I think about you day and night. All I want to do is spend time with you and learn everything there is to know about you. But look at what’s happening already!”

Holly squeezed her hand gently. “You won’t lose me. I’m not going anywhere. You’re strong, Deborah. You’ve been through so much, and you’ve come out the other side. What’s a little gossip, right?”

Deborah’s lips trembled as she spoke. “I don’t want to lose my friends, my support system. The people at work—they’re just colleagues. That Mel has never been on my side. She’s got such a bug up her ass. I don’t know what’s wrong with her. ButEsme, the Indigo gang—they all mean so much to me.”

“I so get that,” Holly said softly. “I’ve got an amazing group of friends from Australia I’m still in touch with. And I would never want to come between you and your friends. But I believe in us. I believe we can make it work without losing the people we care about.”

Deborah took a deep breath, her eyes searching Holly’s. “The fear of being judged, of being talked about… it’s crippling.”

Holly nodded. “I know. But we can’t let fear control our lives. We have to fight for what we want, for who we want to love.”

9

DEBORAH

Deborah stood at the window of her apartment, staring into the void below. She could just about make out the twinkling lights down in the valley and vaguely noticed that there were a lot of people out and about for breakfast already. But she registered no more detail than that. Holly’s words from the previous night echoed in her mind, filling her with a mixture of hope and fear. She had actually said the L-word. Wasn’t it too soon? Was this just a crush? The types that young women are so prone to? She turned away from the window and looked at Holly, who was sitting on the couch, flicking through her phone messages.

“I’ve been thinking a lot about what you said,”Deborah began, her voice hesitant but determined.

Holly glanced up, her eyebrows raised in curiosity. “You know what? Last night was the first night we ever spent together, and we didn’t lay a hand on each other. That’s kind of off. What was up with that? Why invite me to spend the night and then totally ignore me?” Holly’s tone was playful, but there was a glint of hurt in her eyes.

“I was tired, Holly. I must have fallen asleep.” Deborah tried to sound casual, but the words felt hollow even to her own ears.

“Not true. I was flicking throughTikTokuntil the early hours, and you were tossing and turning all night. I’d say you hardly slept a wink. Done with me already, huh?” Holly teased, but her eyes searched Deborah’s face for answers.

“No. You know I’m not. I’ve been thinking about what you said about not letting fear control our lives, and I realized you’re right. I don’t want to live in fear anymore. I know your mom’s hurting, and she knows I care for her so much. As my mom used to say, it’ll all come out in the wash.”

“What now?” Holly asked, her curiosity piqued.

“Oh, she had a heap of funny sayings.” Deborah’s lips curved into a small smile as she remembered her mother.

Holly’s face lit up. “I’m so glad you think so, Debs. Your mom was right. We’ll wash it. It’ll be fine.”

Deborah took a deep breath, feeling a sense of resolve come over her. “Let’s do something wild. We need to get out of here. I haven’t gone on a bender for years.”

“A bender?” Holly asked, laughing.

“Another funny saying, I guess. Sorry. We need a break. If we leave the city for a while, everyone can talk about us while we’re gone. They’ll get it all out of their systems, and we’ll have a clean slate by the time we return. What do you say?”

Holly’s grin widened, and she reached to take Deborah’s hand. “How wild are we talking? Like sex dungeons and mojitos or fishing and flasks of rum?”

Deborah chuckled, shaking her head. “I think you’ve had some pretty weird nights out in your short time on this earth, honey. I had a different idea. No dungeons. No fish. How about we go on a minibreak to Paris? Just you and me. We can explore the city, have fun, and get to know each other.”

Deborah felt a flutter of excitement as she waited for Holly’s answer.

“Paris sounds perfect. Let’s do it.”

The flight to Paris was filled with laughter, light conversation, and people watching. It felt so good to chat about the weather and places they’d visited compared with the heavy emotions of the past few days. By the time they arrived at their hotel, both Deborah and Holly were buzzing with excitement.

“I’m a little disappointed we didn’t join the Mile High Club,” giggled Holly as they checked in.

“Shhhh!” whispered Deborah, her eyes sparkling with mischief. “The staff here probably speak perfect English.”

“Oh, right,” Holly replied as she turned a dark shade of pink.