D.E.M.O.N.S: Getting Summoned Weekly isn't so Bad - Chapter 2001 Cuddles and Conversations Part 1

Chapter 2001: Chapter 2001 Cuddles and Conversations Part 1

— Kat —

The discussions continued back and forth for a while, but before it was over Kat, Lily and Hedera were told to get some rest. Kat nodded along, not all that worried. It wasn’t until she was back at Steel’s place she noticed the reason for the dismissal was the slightest hint of bags under her eyes. Kat was surprised. I didn’t even know I could still get these! Kat also hadn’t realised she was getting tired. Perhaps it was the lack of sleep over the last few days or perhaps it was the fact she’d split herself into such small water droplets, each having their own perspective on a huge area. Processing all of that had to be a lot.

Still, Kat didn’t feel like she needed to sleep just yet… and there was Lily to consider as well. Coming back into the room Kat had been assigned, Lily was sprawled out over the bed, eyes closed but Kat knew her girlfriend was awake. Kat certainly wasn’t going to tell her to remain in Memphis form if this made her feel better. “It doesn’t, not really but it just felt wrong to stay as a Memphis.”

Kat let out a sigh. Perhaps the reason she didn’t feel the need for sleep was that she had a much more pressing issue to deal with. Kat first carefully worked the covers of the bed downwards and out from under Lily. Kat then pulled them back up so that she and Lily were resting underneath them. Lily quickly moving from her splayed out position to nestling in against Kat once she’d sat down as well.

“So… how much do you want to talk about it?” asked Kat.

“Not at all but I guess I should,” sighed Lily.

“Well… let’s ease into it then. Why are you human? I obviously don’t mind, I’m happy with you doing whatever… but you don’t tend to stick around in that form all that much while we’re off on Contracts, even when you’re not hiding,” offered Kat.

“It just… it didn’t feel right. I’m not sure if Memphis aren’t really equipped to deal with this emotional toll and having a cat brain was making it worse. I don’t know if I’ve just been spending too little time like this. Heck, maybe I just wanted to take up more space in bed. As nice as it is to be tiny and be able to sleep on you entirely… I dunno maybe I wanted to be able to hug back a bit? I really don’t know,” sighed Lily.

“Well, we can poke at it a bit? If you want?” offered Kat.

Lily sighed pulling Kat closer to her, holding her as tightly as possible… which for Kat didn’t feel hard at all. Even though it was sufficient force to crush a normal person into a bloody paste Kat was completely fine. Still, it was an answer in and of itself. Even if Lily didn’t want to say anything about it out loud. To Kat, this screamed that Lily was scared of Kat leaving, or perhaps not being in reach?

“I… I dunno. I mean, maybe you’re right? I obviously don’t want you to leave but why would I think you would?” asked Lily.

“Probably because you don’t feel like it’s normal for me to be so uncaring about you ’killing’ someone? Even when they haven’t died and I HAVE actually killed people? Fairly violently at times too,” offered Kat.

“Maybe? I… I don’t even know… I mean… it felt so real. I just… it wasn’t even that hard of a spell. Sure it had quite a lot of potential to kill him but… people seemed so sturdy in this world…” sighed Lily.

“Until they suddenly don’t?” pondered Kat.

“Yeah I guess so. I… how am I even supposed to react to that? I know if I cast that spell on a mortal something like that would probably happen but… when there’s an actual fight going down it never seemed to end that quickly, or you’d need to trade some ridiculous wound for the win. Which sure you can heal up but…

“I don’t know if I’m more… upset? It’s not the right word at all but I don’t… look, I don’t know if it’s getting to me because of what actually happened or because of how easy it was. I… even in my ambushes it was nothing like that. Against monsters it was nothing like that,” admitted Lily.

Kat nodded, “Does it help knowing it wasn’t real? I doubt Thyme would allow someone to die on their watch.”

“Not at all. In fact that might be worse?” Lily offered. “I… I feel like there really should be some consequences for what I’ve done. Even if it was the right thing. If… if someone had actually died, even if that would obviously still be bad… it would be a simple, brutal, final thing. Maybe my Memphis instincts would help me deal with it too…

“But now I don’t know what to think. How am I meant to feel about a kill where nobody actually died? Where I KNEW in my heart of hearts I killed someone… even if my brain also knows that’s not how it was at all. Yet… gods… Thyme has gone above and beyond to make things realistic. Only the constant reminders now, and the fact I remember we’re in a tournament and that whole thing at the prison was with a fake Jen.

“But he seemed so real before that. Was he a person that Thyme switched out at the last moment? Was it always Thyme? I’ve got no idea and I don’t know how much it matters. I know what it feels like when half a dozen of my shadows impale someone now…”

“What does it feel like?” asked Kat with real curiosity.

“Nothing,” stated Lily. Empty tone in her voice. “I mean that in a very real way. Shadows… they don’t always or even usually FEEL like anything. I can change so much about them, and I only really get a vague sense of resistance when doing something like that… or having my control breaking. Having those spears go right through someone? It really didn’t feel like anything. That’s part of what hit me so hard.

“I only noticed when he… when the sounds reached my ears. I simply sent of those shadows and then started to concentrate on my next move. I didn’t for a second think he’d truly be hurt by them all… maybe that’s the difference? When it was monsters I was INTENDING for them to die. Here… it’s almost like sneezing and then finding out you’ve flattened a house. I was expecting to injure, distract, and maybe temporarily maim. Certainly not KILL like that,” sighed Lily.

“So it was the lack of control?” pondered Kat. “The idea that you could just… accidentally kill someone hitting home?”

Lily considered the question as she hugged Kat, squeezing her and burying her face further into Kat’s hair. Lily just breathed there for a while as her ears zoomed in on Kat’s heartbeat. The conversation had been a hard one, even if it was something that probably needed to happen. “I… I don’t think that’s everything. It doesn’t feel so… clean. Though… yes I think a large part of my breakdown was just how easy it was.

“I put… I don’t want to say no effort into the attack, but it wasn’t a big finishing move or anything. I just wanted to take a stab through his armour and see what else he might’ve had in store. Perhaps provide enough of a distraction to go after the assassins for a bit. It… wasn’t anything special. It was on par with plenty of my shadow claws. The attack I seem to instinctively default to these days.

“It wasn’t flashy, or difficult… it was a slight change to account for the space he was using as a shield… and that was it. IT wasn’t even a REAL SPELL. It was just me shoving some mana into my shadows Kat! That’s not… I… making something into a proper spell increases the efficiency so much…” Lily whined.

“Perhaps that’s the difference being level three brings? For me, threats have always continued to escalate with the tournament being an exception. Here… you are the strongest thing around. A Rank 3, and perhaps a rather strong on. I haven’t had an issue because I can’t accidentally slap someone out of existence while I’m being restrained… but clearly you have a chance at it,”

Lily snorted a bit at the mental image alongside a bit of a sniffle. She wasn’t properly crying, too exhausted for that. Though a bit of leaking around the eyes wasn’t out of the question. “I… yeah I don’t like it. I don’t… I don’t like that it’s so easy…” mumbled Lily.

Kat shrugged as she gently stroke the fur on Lily’s ears. “One of the prices of power I suppose. My strength is hard to control outside of ’mortal’ and ’not-mortal’ so I’ve worked on ensuring I have a bit of a range in between that. You might need to start doing the same thing instead of just learning more spells.”

“You… you might be right. I suppose I just didn’t realise I had become so strong… and I don’t know if I like it either,” sighed Lily.