Graceless - Page 52

Lane liked her; there was no hiding it. And their complications were nothing in the face of their overwhelming desire for each other. It had reached a point that no one could stop it, the force of their lust bigger than either of them. Tonight, as soon as they could sneak away, she’d go to the guesthouse and Lane would look at her with that ravenous heat they could no longer hide and Cassidy would find herself naked, pressed up against that phenomenal body, dying of pained pleasure in their strong arms again and again and again.

Dinner was agony. Lane was next to her, which meant she could just about eat without feeling their eyes on her body. Instead, she felt the phantom heat of them, almost as clearly as if she were pressed up against their side. Every word they said – and they didn’t say much – reverberated inside of her, making her dizzy with want as she remembered over and over their low tones as they told her exactly how they wanted her to touch herself.

When it was finally over and Lane got up from the table, Cassidy turned her head and their eyes met, just briefly. The glance was barely a second, but she still knew what it meant. Lane was going to be waiting for her. She just about repressed a shiver of anticipation.

“Surely you’re not cold?” her sister asked her, as Brynn all but wrestled a complaining Tucker up away from the table inside to go start his bedtime routine. Cassidy shook her head, distracted, every part of her aware of Lane’s departure, hearing the soft click of their door closing as if it were a starter’s gunshot. From here, every second she wasn’t in there, alone with them, was a second wasted. “I wanted to talk to you,” Savannah continued, and Cassidy held back an impatient sigh. God, was this ever not the time. She turned her back on the guesthouse and tried to focus, needing to get this over quickly.

“Oh?” she asked, trying to concentrate on her sister’s face.

“How are you doing?’ Savannah asked her, commencing some kind of general preamble Cassidy responded to on autopilot, her thoughts entirely on Lane on the other side of that door, before suddenly her brain snagged on the words her sister was saying. “It’s entirely up to you, of course. A new baby in the house is a bit like having a bomb go off. It would make total sense if you wanted to take the downtown apartment just to get some peace and quiet.”

“You’re kicking me out?” Cassidy felt winded. Her sister frowned.

“No, of course not,” she soothed. “I’m just giving you the option. Your own roof over your head, if you feel like you need it-”

“Let’s be clear.” Cassidy’s heart was pounding, the sharpness of the rejection making her thoughts race wildly. “You don’t want me around the new baby, so you’re trying to bribe me with my own apartment?”

“Cassidy-”

“You don’t think this is history repeating at all?” she burst out, a hot pain beginning to spill within her like she’d been stabbed in the guts.

“What? No! What does that even mean?” Savannah was acting confused, like she didn’t know what she was talking about and it pushed Cassidy a step too far.

“Why are you like this?” she cried. “What makes you do this all the time? What the fuck happened to you to make you think you can use your wealth to control people? Move us around like little chess pieces, like we all just live inside your sick little game?”

“Cass-”

“Our lives aren’t even real to you, are they?” She was shouting now. “It doesn’t even matter to you what we want, as long as the narrative stays the same: Savannah Grace, the kind, generous princess, housing her poor dirty family like the great human that she is. When the whole time you’re just playing into your raging god complex.”

“Cassidy-” Savannah’s voice cracked and Cassidy wasn’t even sure when she’d moved, just that she was staring down at her sister still in her seat from dinner, Savannah’s eyes wide and imploring as if Cassidy was the bad guy here.

“All this time, I thought you didn’t know what you did to us, but now I’m finally realizing that you just didn’t care,” she yelled. “It’s your M.O. all along! What kind of sister are you? What kind of daughter? I feel sorry for your own daughter when she realizes what kind of soulless psychopath you really are!”

“Cassidy, stop!” The voice came from behind her, and she whirled around to see Lane standing six feet away, their face stricken. “Stop shouting at her!” Their voice was tense as they approached.

“Lane-” she started, both horrified and desperately relieved to see them.

“Are you okay?” Lane moved past her. They were talking to Savannah. Cassidy flinched. She looked over and saw her sister was white, hurt and confusion all over her face, her eyes shining bright with tears.

“I’m fine, Lane,” she said, her voice small and tight. “It’s okay.” She hauled herself to her feet, her eyes on Cassidy. “This conversation,” she said, “it’s clearly not landing how I meant it-”

“Oh, of course-” Cassidy started sarcastically, her frustration spilling over.

“Stop.” Lane put their hand out at her like they were dealing with one of their kindergarteners. “Just stop.” Their tone was hard.

Cassidy was lost for words. She watched Savannah extricate herself.

“We can talk about this when you’ve calmed down,” Savannah said quietly, “because I want to understand-”

“No, you don’t,” Cassidy said, defeated. “You never do.”

Savannah paused, her hand on her lower back. It was a good move. She looked fragile, emphasizing the weight of the baby she carried on her small frame. Something cracked slightly inside Cassidy. She would not feel guilty. Not for finally speaking the truth. Seeing her chin rise, Savannah shook her head slightly, dropped her eyes, and walked back toward the house. Lane grabbed the door for her, their jaw tight, not looking away from the living room until Brynn appeared, concern on her face, her hands already reaching for her wife.

Cassidy looked away. It looked nice, having someone put their arms around you, not caring if you were right or wrong. She looked at Lane, imagining the warmth of their body if she were allowed to cry on their shoulder right now, but as she met their eyes, she knew that wasn’t going to happen. Lane was staring at her like she was a stranger.

“You don’t understand,” she whispered, but Lane just shook their head.

“I understand all I need to understand,” they said stiffly, the usual warmth in their eyes extinguished. Lane looked appalled and immensely sad.