Graceless - Page 64

“Fuck.” Lane’s shoulders scrunched almost to their ears. “I wasn’t…” They paused. They met her big brown eyes and reached out to grab her hand. “You’re right. You definitely deserve better. So much better.”

Mia squeezed their hand back and sighed as she dropped it.

“Listen,” she said. “That girl-” she jerked her head toward the pool yard, “she’s right. I’m not in love with you or anything, so you can calm down.” She rolled her eyes. “But maybe you should stop jerking around with her, too?” Her tone was pointed. “Pretty sure she was three seconds away from drowning me in the pool.” With that, her eyes sparkled, and she gave Lane a kiss, on the cheek this time. She raised her hand and tapped her pointer finger. “Firstly, go fuck yourself. Secondly,” she tapped her second finger, “go get your fucking girl.”

Then she was gone. Lane waited barely a polite second to let her leave, then bolted out the front door.

Cassidy had disappeared. Her pool lounger lay abandoned under the mid-afternoon sun and there was no one in sight. Lane swore. They jogged across the pool yard and opened the gate, looking left and right for her. They looked frantically up at the main house but quickly discounted it. They knew exactly where Cassidy would go if she was upset.

“Cassidy, wait!” Lane caught sight of her, already halfway down the lawn. She looked small, still in her bright red bikini, even though she was clearly on her way to go and cry on a horse. Cassidy didn’t pause for even a second. “Cassie,” Lane tried again, but Cassidy only sped up. She was almost at the back gate by the time Lane caught up to her. They grabbed her wrist to stop her and she whirled around.

“No, Lane!” she all but yelled. Her face was flushed with emotion, her tone half anger, half misery. She took a deep breath, and with great care, lowered her voice. “Go back to your new girlfriend,” she said quietly, her voice cracking. “I don’t need a consolation speech,” she told them, glaring through her tears.

“Cass-”

“Listen, this is humiliating enough as it is,” Cassie sniffled, jerking back again as Lane tried once again to reach for her. “Like how many different ways do I need to hear it, before I fucking get it?” She clapped her hand across her eyes.

“Cassie-”

“Oh my god, Lane!” Her hand dropped and her eyes blazed. “I’m telling you, I don’t want to talk about it! You’ve made your choice,” she cut her eyes derisively toward the guest house, her gaze crackling with fire.

“You’re right,” Lane finally managed to interject. “I have.” They caught her hand, slipping their fingers through hers. Cassidy looked outraged and tried to pull back. Lane didn’t let go. She shook them loose and Lane stepped in closer. They gazed at her, the girl they could never get out of their head, finally almost in their reach. Cassidy’s glare faltered as Lane refused to step back, confusion flickering in her eyes. “I’ve made my choice,” Lane repeated, heart racing, reaching out tentative fingers to tuck a lock of her hair behind her ear. Oh shit, she was so soft.

Cassidy jolted at the touch, her lips parting.

“What are you doing?” Her voice was low. Lane saw the fine quiver in her body as she struggled to keep it together. It felt a little like approaching a frightened alley cat. Lane slowly reached out, stroking her fingers again, taking her hand.

“I know who I want,” they told her. They’d never felt more sure or more vulnerable in their entire life. “If you… if you still want-” Lane swallowed, their mouth going dry.

Cassidy made a strange gulping sound. She seemed frozen, her eyes wide. With a sudden jerking motion she stepped in, pressing her hot face into their bare chest, just beneath their chin.

“I…why?” she managed, her voice ragged. “Why now? I don’t…” She swallowed. “Why?”

“Because I just…fucking like you, so damn much.” Lane spluttered out a small laugh over the ache in their chest. They carefully wrapped their arms around Cassidy. Had they ever hugged? Even once? Lane was pretty sure they hadn’t, because if they’d ever felt this feeling, they would never have been able to let her go.

Cassidy didn’t seem to know what to do. She stayed pressed into their chest without moving, until slowly her hands came up. One rested almost experimentally on Lane’s upper chest. The other wrapped around their waist, her grip featherlight at first, then clutching almost painfully tight. Lane’s entire body flooded with warmth and they had to scrunch their eyes tight against the intensity of the emotion, slightly afraid they might be about to cry. When they opened their eyes again, on the blazing cobalt of the sky and the deep jade of the grass, they couldn’t stop smiling.

It was a while before they could trust themselves to speak. Lane took a breath. They looked down. They could only really see the top of Cassidy’s head, her face still pressed into their chest.

“Cassidy?” they asked after a moment.

“Mm?”

“Are you planning on coming out of there anytime soon?”

“No,” she said into their skin, her voice slightly muffled. “I’m scared if I let go of you, you’re going to disappear and this won’t be real.”

“Okay.” Lane kept holding her. Another minute passed. “I don’t want to rush you or anything,” they said after a while, “but I’ve been wanting to kiss you for months-”

Cassidy kissed them.

Lane kissed her back. They kissed each other for a long time under the warm sun, Lane sliding their fingers into her hair, Cassidy’s hands flat on their chest, Lane remembering the shape of her and how she tasted, their breath becoming shorter and shorter until Lane was gasping. They pulled back and looked at her. Her blue eyes were hazy but somehow serious, her lips bitten pink and soft.

“Do you-” they started and stopped. “It’s okay if you want to like, go slow-”

“Lane, no!” Cassidy sounded horrified. “Please be joking right now,” she breathed, her eyes wide and Lane grinned.

“You’re saying you would be okay with me inviting you in right now?” they confirmed.