Grayson - Page 67
At the idea of forever.
I thought our love was the things dreams were made of.
But I knew then, standing there in the cafe, that it was all me.
I saw what I wanted to see. I saw a young, attractive man who was friendly enough in public, but who always had to “work late” or attend some function I wasn’t invited to.
I never saw the signs he was cheating, because I truly believed he loved me.
Because I loved him.
Or rather, I loved the idea of him. A fiancé, a husband. Maybe even a father. And all those dreams fell apart the minute the truth was revealed. He never wanted me. He never really wanted to get married, he told me that night. He was doing it because it was just what was expected when you’d been with someone a while, and I seemed like a nice enough guy.
I’d closed myself off after that, because I didn’t want to be someone’s number two option. But in doing so, I became so closed off that I didn’t even consider the possibility that I could be someone else’s number one priority.
Like I said, I have the worst fucking luck.
“What are you getting?” Mia asked.
“Probably the same thing I always get,” I said as we moved up in line.
That’s when it clicked.
I looked at the menu, remembering the day Grayson and I met up—so I could give him back his wallet, of all things. Because he’d left it at my house.
He’d teased me for keeping my order simple, and then nonchalantly shoved a cinnamon roll at me.
Offering me more than just a dessert.
He was offering me a chance to try something new. A chance to break the same cycle, the same rut I’d been stuck in.
Big changes, start with small ones.
A lost wallet.
A cinnamon roll.
A horseback ride.
A kiss.
I looked at the menu differently after that.
“You know what, I think I’m going to change it up this time,” I said. “I’ll have the caprese wrap. And a cinnamon roll. With a cafe mocha, please.”
Mia shrugged. “I didn’t think you liked cinnamon rolls. You always said they were too sweet.”
A soft smile tugged at my lips. “People can change you know,” I said, feeling the weight of my words, as I thought about all the ways I had changed, just in these last few weeks.
With Grayson.
We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do, he had said.
Granted, when he said it I knew he meant sexually, but I realized at that moment as I placed my order, that his words went beyond the physical attraction we shared.
This dynamic, bold, commanding man who was a natural born leader was more willing to defer when it came to me.
That depends, will you let me lead?