Hunt Me! (I Crave The Chase) - Page 176

“No.” Jeffrey shook his head. “Why would I be?”

“I lied.”

“You did,” he shrugged, his eyes still wet. There were tear streaks on his cheeks, and his skin was splotchy red. He was a mess. A complete mess. And he’d never been prettier. I wrestled his keys from his pocket, repeating the motion I’d seen him do a dozen times, before shoving them in the ignition. The heater blasted, and I relaxed, turning my attention back to him as he warmed up.

“Did you do it because you wanted to hurt me?” he asked softly, even though his eyes said they already knew the answer.

“No.” My throat felt tight. “I just…I just wanted…to keep you safe. I promised.”

Jeffrey nodded, like that was all the answer he needed, and then he waited patiently for me to continue. “Your wolfskin,” he repeated, to show me he’d been listening. “What else?”

“My humanskin, like I’m wearing now.”

“Right.”

“And my alphaskin. That’s what I was…when you came to the house two moons ago.” I’d remembered him, which was…odd. Normally I didn’t remember anything. “That’s why Theo turned you away.”

“Right,” Jeffrey frowned, hands impossibly warm when they moved back to clutch my cheeks.

“When an alpha starts going feral they have to find a mate,” I explained, voice tight.

“I know,” Jeffrey nodded. “I know. I’m trying… There’s gotta be a way around it. And if not, we can find you one.” I wasn’t sure how he knew that, but figured I shouldn’t be surprised. “I read up on it. If I can find you someone else—a wolf to mate with—you’ll survive. You can bond with them. You’ll be saved.”

He was a clever one, so clever. And he’d been running around like crazy the last couple months trying to help me. But still…there were some things only wolves knew, and he’d sounded hopeful, and I just…I couldn’t let him cling to that, not when it would only hurt him more in the long run.

He deserved the truth. I’d kept it from him long enough.

“It’s not that simple,” I said softly, because it wasn’t. And he needed to understand. I didn’t want him to mourn me before I was gone but I respected him too much to hide the truth from him any longer. “Bonding with someone else hasn’t been an option for me for a long time. Not since I met you.”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

I supposed that was fair. For so long I’d guarded this secret, and that seemed silly now, especially when I’d made my choice.

“You’re my mate,” I admitted, voice wobbling, heart cracking open.

“I’m your—but I can’t?—”

“Yes,” I could hardly breathe. Jeffrey looked like he was going to throw up, because he knew as well as I did, apparently, what that meant.

“But I’m—I don’t…I don’t understand.” Jeffrey was quiet for what felt like an eternity. The trees rustled, and the whisper of the wind blanketed the silence. When he spoke, he looked as though he’d seen a ghost, all the color having drained from his face. “How can I be your mate? I’m not a wolf. You can’t bond with me.”

“That may be true, but I choose you anyway,” I said simply. “I may have wondered at first why the moon mother had played a joke on the both of us, making a human my fated one, but I understand now. I understand. Because you are harmony. You are warmth. You are the peace I have always searched for.”

“What the fuck.” Jeffrey’s voice was hoarse, like he was reciting something he’d read. His scent was pain-pain-pain. “What the fuck—and you?—”

“Will not mate with anyone else. Will not bond with anyone else,” I said, my wolf rising to the surface, my teeth snapping. “I won’t. I would rather die.”

“Okay,” Jeffrey’s lips wobbled. “Okay.”

“Wolves mate for life.”

It was a fact. A fact I was proud of.

Even though…it meant my life might be shorter than either of us liked. It was still a source of pride.

“I chose you. I choose you.”

“But I can find you a real mate. Someone that can stop you from going feral. I can save you. It doesn’t have to be this way,” Jeffrey’s voice was hollow. “You don’t have to die.”