Hunt Me! (I Crave The Chase) - Page 183

Except…

Maybe…this was…why?

Maybe, the same way I’d forgiven Mutt for his lies, they’d forgiven me. Because intentions mattered. And if they could forgive me—if I could forgive Mutt—should I not…forgive myself?

I was nine.

Nine years old.

I was a stupid kid, yeah.

But Lydia had been a monster.

Mutt said I was the most wonderful person in the world. He thought I was strong. Resilient. And I was realizing now…he was right. Because I was. I fucking was. I’d survived. I’d survived every game Lydia had made me play, survived every weapon, every barb—every tightrope.

And all this time I’d carried the weight of my guilt like a noose around my neck.

But…

The noose fell away, as easily it had formed. Sixteen years of anguish dropping to the floor like it had never been there at all.

I sucked in a breath, and Doctor Mason grinned at me. “There,” she said softly. “Congratulations, Jeffrey.” My skin felt too tight, but…right all the same. Like all this time it’d been two sizes too small and now it finally fit the way it was supposed to. “You just had your first breakthrough.”

“I have a lead,” Avery’s voice was tinny through the speaker of my phone as I sat in Blair’s car—because he’d let me borrow it, solid dude that he was. Richard had not offered his Audi, and I figured that was fair, as I apparently did not have the best track record with cars.

Not that my truck breaking down recently was my fault—because it wasn’t. The water pump had been loose, and it was a more extensive fix that Joe said he “did not fucking have time for right now.”

Richard had used up his favor already to get my truck towed a second time, and therefore I had no choice but to wait.

“You have a lead?” My fingers gripped the steering wheel tight enough the leather squeaked. “Fuck.”

“It may not help,” Avery warned. “But if you head to the lodge like planned there should be a hunter there named Nieve. I was talking to my mom and she mentioned something about him having lived with a wolf pack for a few years.”

“I thought they didn’t do that.”

“Most don’t,” Avery rustled around on the other end of the line. His voice grew muffled, “Betty—do not—get that out of your mouth—I swear to God.”

“Avery.”

“Sorry. Cats.” More rustling. “Okay so. Nieve. Try to find him and get him talking—maybe you can find out something new. If there really are wolf packs out there that allow humans inside them, there might be stuff they know that other packs don’t. I don’t know if you’ll get the answer you want, but it’s a start.”

“Thanks, Avery. Seriously, man.”

“Don’t worry about it.” I was about to hang up when Avery spoke again. “Do you need backup?” I appreciated his concern, especially because he knew just how…scary entering a lodge would be for me.

“Nah, I’m good.” I didn’t want to wait for him to arrive—and I figured…I’d be safe.

“Are you sure?”

“I’m sure?—”

Avery squeaked. “Oh! My food is here. Gotta go. Let me know what happens.”

“I will,” I promised, my heart in my throat, but the line was already dead. Anxiously, I pulled the address up on my phone and started the drive. Blair’s little Yaris rattled around on the road—struggling with the pebbles that accosted it.

I remembered driving this car.

It’d been mine before it was his—and I’d never liked how sketchy I felt on roads just like this.