Ka'Cit's Haven - Page 193

“I love you. I don’t care what your society thinks is right or wrong. To be honest, it seems pretty fucked up to me.” She rested a palm against his cheek. “You are perfect. Everything about you. I know you want me. I can tell that now. I was a fool to think otherwise, too caught up in my own ego and too scared to go for what I wanted at the same time. And I want you too. I don’t need babies or a big family. I need a man who isn’t scared to give up everything to come after me. A man who allows himself to get captured just to protect me. A man who loves me with his all. You, Ka’Cit. I want you.”

He could only gulp again.

What she was saying…

Phek.

He was dreaming.

“Nee-ya, I—” What could he even say?

That she might think she wanted him now, but he’d seen what pain can do to a mating.

That he’d seen it in his own mother’s eyes, the slow dying as his saran and momor had fought constantly because of him.

That he didn’t want to be the cause of the sadness in her eyes when her life became incomplete?

That seeing such a thing would hurt more than her rejection ever could?

“It’s not just a family I can’t give you. I…” A breath shuddered through him.

Phek.

Now, this was harder than anything he’d had to face so far.

“…The life I lead…it’s dangerous. I have enemies…”

Nia smiled and it broke his concentration. “I have enemies too. As a matter of fact, it looks like we have some of the same enemies. Does it look like I’m scared of them?”

Ka’Cit blinked.

Some people called him crazy, but he was beginning to wonder if she was just as crazy as he was.

“You watch my back. I’ll watch yours.”

Ka’Cit’s mouth opened to respond yet no words came.

As the autopilot adjusted the speed of the hover car and the wind around them picked up, all he could do was stare at her.

All the arguments he’d used to convince himself as to why he should stay far, far away from her crumbled to dust.

Suddenly, nothing made sense and he dared to hope.

But…

Still…he had to make it clear.

A part of him still didn’t believe she understood.

“La-rehn is bearing young. I saw her rounded belly. I am happy for Riv, but…” his gaze fell, “I could never give you that. I will never be able to…”

Her hand found his chin and lifted it so he was looking into her eyes once more. Then she smiled.

“You’re such a badass out there, in the cosmos, yet, right now, you’re opening yourself to me. It’s the first I’ve seen you so vulnerable. And I appreciate it.” She planted a kiss on his lips once more. “Is it that you want babies. Is that why you’re being so hard on yourself?”

Ka’Cit felt his throat move.

Yes.