One Dirty Night - Page 102

“I know.” He cut me off. “You didn’t call me to hear me jerk off in your ear.”

The swift change of subject made me flounder.

I shivered for an entirely different reason. “It’s okay—”

“No, it’s not. I’ve stopped. I won’t take advantage of you in any capacity. You called me to ask about him.” Sighing heavily, his clothing rustled again as if he tucked himself away and removed his hand. “Do you want some advice? Even though I gave it to you that night?”

I nodded far too eagerly. “Yes. Yes, please. Tell me how I can forget him. Tell me how I can get over him. If he’s running away, then he doesn’t deserve me. I should have more self-respect than wondering how I can change his mind. If he can’t love me, then—”

“He does love you. He’s a fucking idiot, but he does love you. Even if he hasn’t fully admitted it to himself yet, he has an inkling. Believe me.” Hunter’s voice softened. “You didn’t see his eyes when he was flogging you. Each lash he gave you absolutely shattered him. He fucking adored it, but he adores you more. He could barely stand upright; he shook so badly. He looked as if he wanted to get on his knees and marry you then and there, all while forcing you onto your knees so he could come all over your beautiful face.”

“How on earth can you say such dirty things and make them sound so romantic?”

“Talent?” He laughed. “But seriously. I get it. I get him. I hoped he wouldn’t have to go through what I did, but…it seems as though honourable guys just can’t accept that they house a beast within. We want to be perfect for you. We want to wrap you in cotton wool and give you every diamond imaginable. We want to keep you safe. Keep you happy. So when we have dark, dirty thoughts of making you bleed and cry and scream, that can mess with a guy’s head. It can make him run away…just like I did.”

“But you eventually accepted who you truly are. You ended up using your truth to help so many others.” I dropped my voice. “I know I would never have had the courage to ask a man I met by usual dating methods to tie me up and bruise me. God, just the thought of that conversation sends me into hives. It was the knowledge that I’d never see you again. The recklessness of one dirty night that gave me just enough strength to surrender myself to you.”

He groaned low in my ear. “On your birthday, no less.”

“Yes.” I smiled. “You gave me a present I will never forget.”

“And you took a part of me that I’ll never get back. I know you assumed you’d never see me again, and…if things work out with Nick, then I suppose that will be the case, but…I’ll be back in your town in a year or so. If you’re still single by then. If I’m still single and not gotten myself killed by beating up the wrong bastard, then…I’m going to keep you.”

I gasped. “You’re saying I’m yours in a year if Nick doesn’t claim me?”

“Even if he does, he shared you with me once. Perhaps he’d be open to giving me another taste. From one Dom to another. A gift of the girl he most cherishes, all because he knows how well I can pleasure you. If you ask him, he’d have no choice but to agree. His purpose in life is to make you happy…or at least it should be.”

“Pretty sure moving to Singapore is a giant clue that my happiness is not in his top five goals.”

“And that is the cue for me to tell you what you need to do.” His voice slipped into all business. “You asked me how to forget him? I’m not going to answer that. Not yet. Call me back if this doesn’t work and then I’ll tell you. Better yet, if he’s being a prick about it, book some vacation days and come to me. I’ll make it my personal duty to erase every shred of that man from you, one release at a time…but for now…”

He paused.

He gathered his thoughts before saying, “I stand by what I told you. If you want him, you’re going to have to break him. But now that I know he’s probably dealing with the same shit I was, then you need to be smart.”

“Smart?”

“He doesn’t want you to love him ’cause he’s afraid of dying early and leaving you heartbroken, right?”

I nodded, glad Hunter remembered everything Nick had said that night.

“He also probably can’t stomach the thought of you dying and leaving him heartbroken. Especially after what he said about his brother and father dying. There’s deep-seated trauma there for sure. Has he said as much?”

“Yes.” I nodded. “In almost those exact words.”

“Okay then…here is what you do.”

I leaned up and peered into my gloomy hotel bedroom. “Tell me.”

“He thinks he can avoid the pain of a broken heart if he doesn’t claim you as his. He thinks he’s protecting you from that same pain by refusing to love you back. So…replace him.”

“R-Replace him?” I choked. “But…”

“Go to a club. There’s one in your town called The Black Peacock. You’re a natural submissive, Ella. There’s no reason why you shouldn’t seek out what you need.”

“I…I can’t go to a club. I can’t sleep with a stranger.”

“You did with me.”