Trust - Page 88

“Yeah, you do.”

The indicator was going again, and the car pulled up the ramp towards the services. Massive signage promised hot drinks and fast food and set my nerves jangling.

“You need the loo?” I asked. I hoped we could just stop quickly. Get back to safety. I hoped he was taking me back to his bed. Home.

“Nah. We’re gonna get a coffee, sit in.”

“Mum packed tea.”

“Which is lovely, but I never get to do this—go to a big services for a nice coffee. It’s the little things, Gray. Let me have my fun.”

“Fun,” I muttered.

“Fun,” he insisted, unfastening my seat belt. “Come on. Indulge me.”

“I can’t go in there. It’ll be…you know. Me in fast food places?”

“Gray,” he said, kindly but sternly. “No. It will not be the same. Nobody here gives a fuck about anything other than getting in the loo and grabbing an overpriced chocolate bar. I like an overpriced chocolate bar. You do too.”

“Yeah.” My stomach hurt.

“Here.” He leaned behind me to pick something up. Next thing, he was pushing a dusty old cap onto my head. I ripped it off.

“That’s not going to help.” I was being rude. Obnoxious. But I didn’t like this.

“I got it free from last year’s London Beauty awards at the hotel. I’ve never worn it.”

“No wonder. It says Beauty Queen on it.”

“Okay then.” He rummaged around in the footwell. “Old beanie.”

He shoved that on my head instead. Better, I supposed.

“I’ll hold your hand,” he said. “We’ll go pee. I’ll even drag you into my cubicle and snog your face.”

“Who are you and what have you done to Reuben who isn’t gay?” I grinned. He did that. Made me feel better.

“Reuben is still not gay. Doesn’t matter, though, because you’re gay enough for both of us. And I don’t care. I’m with you. Okay?”

“Okay,” I said and sat there as he got out and walked around the car. I’d known I was a mess, but I hadn’t realised how much of a mess I’d become.

“I used to love being on stage,” I nattered on as he dragged me out of the car, locked the door, grabbed my hand, pulled me along. “I don’t love it now, though. Now it scares the living daylights out of me. If someone put a gun to my head and said I had to play a stadium tour or die?”

“That’s not going to happen, Gray. You’ve done your bit. Time for new things now—isn’t that right? You’ve got your acting now. No need to play any stadiums, ever again.”

“Not always that easy. Well. I don’t understand our contracts. I think we had a year and a half left, but then they changed everything and what do I know? I’m just the pretty face with the voice. Turns out the voice wasn’t even needed, since they’ve recorded a whole album with underpaid session singers and post-production-filtered AI that sounds exactly like me. Freakily so.”

“But that’s not coming out, is it? That’s why you’re suing them.”

I had no idea. I truly didn’t understand it all.

“I’m just…a stupid muppet.”

“You’re so much more than that,” he whispered. “And shut up.”

He made me smile, and I took his advice and shut up, keeping my eyes on my feet as he led me along to the stinky loos, then made me stand in the queue with him while he ordered us coffee and muffins. Worse, he insisted that I pick out chocolate bars in the newsagent’s and made me pay for them, tapping my card against the reader like a normal person.

I didn’t feel like a normal person. At all.