Veiled Spirits - Page 72

CHAPTER 36

IZZY

My legs buckle underneath me as I’m bombarded by memories. Before I can hit the floor, strong arms band around me, with one arm wrapped around my shoulders and the other around my midsection. As I kneel on the floor, I’m held to a strong chest.

But I can’t pay attention to any of that.

All I can see are flashes of him. His gap-toothed smile, bright enough to light up the whole town. His infectious laughter that helped me find joy when it felt like I hadn’t smiled in years. His warm hand in mine, dragging me from adventure to adventure. His green dinosaur shirt he donned as often as he could, even after he wore holes in it. His perpetually grass-stained jeans because he loved being outside more than anything.

The happy memories play like a death march in my mind, moving closer and closer to that day. I want to scream at them to stop.

I want to stay in the good times, like when we played in the creek so long one fall day, our toes turned blue. Or when we tried to bake a cake for my mom and only succeeded in turning the kitchen into a disaster. Or when he’d sing like the angel he was while I clumsily played guitar to back him up.

No matter how hard I try to stay in the good times, I still end up at that day on the playground. I can smell the earthy scent of decaying leaves in the fall. I can feel the warm sunshine on my chilled cheeks. I can see his small body lifeless on the ground. I can hear my scream ringing out when I can’t get him to wake up. I can taste the salt of my tears that didn’t stop flowing for ages.

After I’ve spent what feels like an eternity reliving the proof of just how evil I am, I slam back into reality. Through the tears clinging to my lashes, my eyes sluggishly focus on Daniel’s battered form on the gurney. I try to get to my feet when I realize I can help him this time, but strong arms keep me in place. I thrash around, desperately trying to break free.

“Let me go!” I scream, the sound full of pain and anguish. “I can fix it! I can save him this time! Please,” I beg, my voice breaking.

“Hey. Hey, Izzy. It’s not him, sweetheart. It’s not Daniel. Look at his eyes. They’re brown. They aren’t blue.” Bishop’s rough voice tries to reason with me as he holds me tightly to him. It takes a moment to see that the boy’s sightless eyes are open, and they’re not sky blue. Bishop’s strong arms are all that’s keeping me from shattering on the cave floor when I realize he’s right. It’s not Daniel. My sobs echo through the cavern. With his lips pressed into my hair, Bishop whispers, “You’re breaking my heart, baby.”

It feels like I was given the most precious gift, only to have it ripped away seconds later. My heart shreds as I grieve again for the boy I didn’t mean to hurt and wasn’t strong enough to save. “No!” I wail in Bishop’s arms, not wanting it to be true.

“Fuck, sweetheart,” Bishop mutters as he holds me tighter. He doesn’t say anything else, because there’s not a word in any language that can make any of this better.

I cry until I can’t breathe. I cry until it feels like tiny daggers are stabbing into my eyes. I cry until my throat is hoarse and scratchy. I cry until it feels like I can’t anymore. And then, I keep crying, silent tears tracking down my face. The pain won’t let me stop.

At some point, Levi walks up to the kid. He gently closes the boy’s eyes with one hand. I have to try a few times before I croak, “Is he dead?”

“Not yet, no.” Levi shakes his head as he looks from the boy to the tubes of glowing orange liquid running from him to multiple IV bags. He seems just as perplexed about the setup as I am.

If he’s not dead yet, then I can at least do something good today by healing him. I try to get up again, but Bishop keeps me anchored to his chest. Once again, I flail around, trying to get out of his hold.

“Stop, Iz. You can’t go to him. We have to leave him here.” At my pained noise, Bishop murmurs, “I know, baby. I know it goes against everything you are to leave him, but we have to. I’m so fucking sorry you have to do this, sweetheart. Fuck, you’ll never know how sorry I am for putting you through this, but we have to go. Now.”

I can kill bad guys without a second thought. But the part of going on missions that really gets to me is when we have to leave the good guys behind. My brain knows we need to leave the kid. Whoever is doing this will know someone is onto them if we save him. It also knows that there’s little chance the kid would pull through, even if we did get him out. If we saved him, we’d be sacrificing who knows how many other kids.

But my heart? It’s screaming to save him. The thought of leaving anyone here, much less a kid, rends the already fractured remnants of my heart.

As I process Bishop’s words, I realize there’s a frantic voice screaming in my ear. “You need to fucking go, now! I don’t care if you have to carry her, Bishop, but you need to get the fuck out of there!”

Bishop stands up while still holding me. My shaky legs struggle to support me when I’m fully standing up. By sheer willpower alone, I manage not to fall back to the ground. “Can you walk, or do you need me to carry you, sweetheart?”

“I can walk. Let’s go. According to Aiden, we don’t have much time.” Bishop hesitates briefly as he takes in what an absolute mess I am. He gives me a sharp nod and snags my hand before turning back the way we came. Levi’s warm palm grasps my other one as we hustle out of the cavern and back up the stairs. I’m grateful for the strength they’re trying to lend me, but I’m not sure it’s enough to ever put me back together.

We’re just slipping out the steel door when Aiden shouts, “Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck. They’re heading right to you. You guys need to hide, like yesterday! Goddamn it, why can’t anything go right today?”

We quickly scan the hallway for somewhere to hide. Levi starts tugging me to the second room on the right. “This one’s a storage closet. It’s our best bet for right now. I don’t see anywhere else to go.”

“Good thinking.” Bishop goes into the dark space ahead of us. He pulls me in after him. Levi steps in behind me and presses tight against my back. The closet is cramped, with two giant dudes and one slightly taller-than-average girl smooshed into it. My back is practically glued to Levi’s front, and my front is plastered to Bishop’s.

When Levi closes the door with a soft snick, I’m startled and jump. I let out a little squeak, and Levi covers my mouth with his hand to keep me quiet. My cheeks, cooled from the air brushing over the tear tracks, warm under his touch.

“We’re in a closet,” Bishop whispers to Aiden. “I’m turning off the coms and camera, in case they have anything to check for them.”

“You better fucking get my sister out of there safely, Bishop,” Aiden hisses.

“I will. No matter what.” Bishop holds my gaze as he vows to sacrifice himself to keep me safe.