Chapter 36

There was no morning court to attend, so Yun Yaoyao slept straight until the sun hung high in the sky, not waking up until Tu Shanjin banged loudly on her door.

Getting no response, Tu Shanjin pushed the door open and stepped inside.

The very first sight that greeted his eyes was Yun Yaoyao's utterly provocative sleeping pose: she was lying face down on the bed with her stomach pressed to the mattress, one leg crossed over the other, and her hips arched up in a way that was almost painfully eye-catching.

Tu Shanjin took two deep breaths just to summon the courage to look her in the eye, before he tried to rouse Yun Yaoyao from her sleep.

After expending every last bit of energy to finally wake her up, Tu Shanjin asked the question he had been curious about for ages: "Why are you able to sleep so much?"

"Why is it so hard for you to get up early?"

Yun Yaoyao, with her messy hair sticking up like a fluffy bird's nest, yawned widely. "It's because I get grumpy when I'm woken up too early."

"So usually I just sleep until I'm no longer grumpy, and then get out of bed."

It was such a brazenly straightforward reason that Tu Shanjin could not find a single word to argue back.

"I've also got a question for you," Yun Yaoyao said, putting on a deeply serious look.

"Go on," Tu Shanjin replied.

Yun Yaoyao suddenly pulled the silk quilt covering her waist aside, pointed at the spot between her legs, and grinned slyly. "Why does it stand straight up every single morning when you wake up?"

Tu Shanjin froze on the spot. The tips of his ears flushed bright red in an instant, his face shifting from pale to crimson, then to a bluish tint, and finally to deep black — he looked exactly like a palette that had come to life. At last, he gritted his teeth and spoke through clenched teeth: "Yun Yaoyao, you..."

"Don't be so shy," Yun Yaoyao cut in. "I've seen every state it could possibly be in. I even have to hold it up for you when you're using the restroom. I'm genuinely curious why it shifts into this different state first thing in the morning. Just tell me —"

Before she could finish her sentence, Tu Shanjin flicked his sleeves in a huff, stomped his feet, and hurried out of the side chamber, his back looking exactly like that of a wronged, pouting young wife.

Yun Yaoyao was left feeling rather disappointed that her question had gone unanswered.

After finishing their lunch, Yun Yaoyao walked out of her courtyard to take in the surrounding scenery.

The air was fresh and pleasant, the environment quiet and serene, and a row of apricot trees full of thriving, ripe, tempting fruits had been planted right outside the courtyard.

Next to her own courtyard, two other residences had new occupants move in, with lightly armed, imposing guards standing watch outside — clearly the people staying there were of extraordinary status as well.

As she was lost in thought, two people stepped out of the courtyard right next to hers.

When she saw their faces clearly, Yun Yaoyao was quite surprised: it was Tu Shanjin's long-seen relatives, Tushan Ze and Yun Yanyan.

Tushan Ze and Yun Yanyan also spotted her, looking equally taken aback. They quickly stepped forward and bowed in greeting. "Your Majesty."

Yun Yaoyao dropped her usual relaxed, cheerful demeanor, and a sharp, imposing aura rolled off her. She imagined herself as an ice-making machine, ready to freeze anyone who came near her on the spot.

"Hm," she responded coldly.

Ugh, how annoying that she had to run into them even when she was supposed to be on a relaxing break! Could it be that they had come here deliberately, just to target her?

Wait, let me think, Yun Yaoyao wondered. There was an important plot point in the novel that took place at the Mingguang Temple...

Yun Yanyan's peripheral vision fell on Tu Shanjin, who was standing a short distance away admiring the view. All of her good mood vanished in an instant.

But then she noticed how far apart Yun Yaoyao and Tu Shanjin were standing, and a thought popped into her head. Yun Yaoyao must have angered Tu Shanjin somehow, and he was now fed up with her, giving her the cold shoulder.

Perfect! She decided she would put on a full show of affection with her prince to make that little hater seethe with jealousy.

With that thought, Yun Yanyan's mood brightened considerably. She spoke in a soft, coquettish voice to Tushan Ze. "My prince, these apricots look wonderful. Let's go pick some, shall we~"

"Of course," Tushan Ze replied, and ordered his servants to set a ladder up against one of the trees.

Yun Yanyan lifted the hem of her skirt, and with her maid's help, stepped onto the ladder. She plucked an apricot and held it out to Tushan Ze. "My prince, this is the very first apricot I picked myself. I hope you won't think it's unworthy."

As she spoke, she gave him a flirtatious, shy little smile.

Tushan Ze took the apricot and smiled gently back at her. "Since you picked it with your own hands, my dear Yan'er, I could never bear to eat it. I'm going to keep it safe and sound."

In reality, the second he saw the pale, unripe color of the fruit, his mouth was flooded with sour saliva, and he silently complained to himself in his head: this side consort of his really has no common sense at all. There are loads of sweet, ripe apricots on that tree, and she just had to pick the sourest-looking one for him.

Hearing his words, Yun Yanyan was so touched her eyes glistened. "My prince..."

Before long, the tinkling sound of Yun Yanyan's laughter drifted out from under the apricot tree, mixed with her deliberately loud, triumphant voice that carried far.

"My prince, you are so good to your concubine~"

"Oh, you're so embarrassing! If you keep saying things like that, I'll be too shy to ever step outside again~~"

"My prince, I'm going to give birth to a big, chubby son for you. Next year, the three of us can come back to this apricot tree together~~"

Tu Shanjin glanced over indifferently at the pair in the distance, feeling nothing but total disinterest.

The man's nothing but a strutting peacock, and the woman's got the brain capacity of a peanut, he thought. They're perfectly matched for each other.

Ugh! Yun Yaoyao turned away and gagged a little.

Your concubine... will give the prince... a big... chubby... son... (She mimicked a pink beaver character, rolling her eyes, waving her hand dismissively, and spitting exaggeratedly on the ground.)

They were deliberately trying to gross her out, weren't they?

Fine, then don't blame her for taking their own game and beating them at it!

Yun Yaoyao ordered her palace servants to bring over a ladder, climbed up on it herself, and waved Tu Shanjin over. "My beloved consort, come here and pick apricots with me."

Tu Shanjin was still moping and flustered over the earlier embarrassing incident, but his feet moved all on their own, walking straight toward Yun Yaoyao.

Yun Yaoyao plucked an apricot, took the clean water a servant handed her, and washed it thoroughly.

She leaned down, wrapped one arm around Tu Shanjin's chest, her gaze intense and domineering. "Beloved consort, this is the first apricot I picked. Eat it."

A gust of autumn wind blew by, carrying a few golden apricot leaves down to the ground. Beneath the tree, the grandly dressed handsome man and the elegant beauty in his arms gazed at each other.

Tu Shanjin gave her a feigned, annoyed glare, then took a bite and ate the apricot.

Yun Yanyan saw the whole scene. She froze for a second, then gritted her teeth so hard they were about to crack.

She ​​‌‌​‌‌​​‌‌​​​​‌​‌‌​​​‌​​‌‌​​​‌​​​‌‌​​‌​​‌‌​​‌​​​​‌‌​​‌‌​‌‌​​​​‌​​‌‌‌​​​​​‌‌​‌‌​​‌‌​​‌​‌​‌‌​​‌‌​​‌‌​​‌​​​​‌‌​‌‌​​‌‌​​‌‌​​​‌‌‌​​​​​‌‌​​​​​​‌‌​​‌‌​​‌‌​‌‌‌​​‌‌​​‌‌​​‌‌​​​​​‌‌​​‌​‌​​‌‌​‌​‌​​‌‌​​‌‌‍picked an apricot for her prince, and the emperor picked one for that lowlife? That was a direct slap to her face!

"Yun Yaoyao!" Tu Shanjin mumbled with his cheeks still stuffed full of apricot, his voice muffled. "What on earth are you doing!"

"Feeding you, obviously," Yun Yaoyao grinned. "Look how thin my beloved Tu consort has gotten. I can't help but feel bad for you."

Yun Yaoyao tightened her arm around Tu Shanjin's waist and hauled him right up onto the ladder with her.

Her other hand gently wrapped around Tu Shanjin's, holding him in a full embrace, and guided his hand forward to pluck an apricot right in front of them.

This new "two-person apricot picking" move made Yun Yanyan so angry her eyes turned red.

As if possessed, she reached out to Tushan Ze. "My prince, would you like to give apricot picking a try too?"

Tushan Ze was taken aback, and complained silently in his head: doesn't she know my lower back has been hurting lately? She has zero sense, making me climb a ladder to pick apricots!

But for the sake of maintaining his perfect devoted husband persona, he still climbed up the ladder.

By the time he had been fed another apricot, Tu Shanjin finally figured out what Yun Yaoyao was up to. He suppressed his flustered embarrassment and said seriously, "If she's getting on your nerves, you can just send people to get rid of her."

Yun Yaoyao shook her head, then lifted Tu Shanjin right off the ground in a princess carry. She leaned down, tapped his nose lightly with her finger to brush off a dewdrop that had fallen from the tree onto his face. "You don't get it. This is way more fun. Besides, she's the one targeting you right now. I'm doing this to get back at her for you."

Being held in such a shamelessly exposed position made Tu Shanjin struggle in embarrassment and anger. "Put me down right now!"

"Fine," Yun Yaoyao said, setting him down, then switching positions to hoist him onto her back and carry him as she reached for more apricots up the tree.

And so, moments after Tushan Ze climbed the ladder to pick one apricot with Yun Yanyan, the other pair over there had already switched through several intimate poses, picking apricots in all sorts of playful, over-the-top ways.

Once they finished picking the apricots, it was time for the apricot-feeding session, which was full of even more silly, over-the-top antics.

Their clingy, affectionate behavior made Yun Yanyan so furious that fire practically shot out of her eyes. She thought the two of them were practically conjoined twins, getting in her way no matter where she looked, and their over-the-top public display of affection made her feel sick! The apricot-picking she had been looking forward to for so long with the prince suddenly felt completely dull and uninteresting.

After picking a few more apricots with Tushan Ze, she pressed a hand to her forehead and said, "Your Highness, I have been standing for too long and feel a bit tired. I wish to go back and rest."

At the entrance of the courtyard, Niu Xiu'er and Xiao Wuzi stood side by side, watching their mistress and His Majesty pick apricots.

Niu Xiu'er was very confused. She scratched her head and asked in puzzlement, "Why did His Majesty use so many complicated poses to pick apricots with Her Majesty? Doesn't he get tired?"

"You wouldn't understand," Xiao Wuzi at her side flicked his whisk haughtily. "These are little tricks between married couples."

"You don't have a partner to hold hands and share your life with, so there's no way you'd get it," Xiao Wuzi said, throwing her a disdainful glance.

Niu Xiu'er looked back at him with the exact same contemptuous look in her eyes. "Well, you don't have one either."

"Oh, right, I almost forgot. You already had that thing cut off, so you'll never get to have one in this life, heh heh."

"Niu Xiu'er!"