Chapter 534 - 344: A Tiger on the Plains is Bullied by Dogs

At that same moment, in a Spanish-style villa in Beverly Hills that was listed for sale.

Johnny Depp was sprawled on the living room sofa, a silver flask clutched in his hand.

His head rested on a pair of socks that might have been stuffed into the sofa cushions since the last century. His feet were propped up on the backrest, folding his body into an "L" shape.

"Hiss..." He slowly opened his eyes, waking from a hangover. "My back... it hurts so bad."

He shifted, putting both his legs onto the sofa. He rubbed his lower back while subconsciously shaking the flask.

The flask was empty.

He tossed the flask onto the coffee table beside him and glanced at the empty whiskey bottle on it.

"Stephen? Stephen!!!" he mumbled. "Get me another bottle!"

He sat up, tapping at his throbbing temples.

He casually picked up his phone and took a look.

'Damn, why is it all news about Li Wei? What the hell.'

"Li Wei Officially Confirmed as Male Lead for The Last Flying Dragon"

"Paying to Play? Li Wei's Vision Holdings Injects 140 Million USD, Project Budget Soars to 250 Million, Becoming This Year's Biggest Film Investment"

"Washed Up? An Exclusive Analysis of Why Johnny Depp Was Dropped"

'Damn, a bunch of clickbait articles.'

"Stephen?!" he called out a second time. "Where's the booze?!"

He wasn't actually jealous of Li Wei. 'There's always a new generation of talent.' That young man was gifted.

Tim Burton had also said he was gifted the first time they met.

The Disney executives almost replaced him the first time they saw his portrayal of Captain Jack Sparrow because they thought his acting was too weird.

And the result? It became the most iconic pirate in film history.

And now?

He glanced around the living room.

Including this one, at least half of his other properties, wineries, and assets were being sold at a discount.

His asset manager told him he'd better lower the prices even more, or else, given his current cash flow, he probably wouldn't make it through the summer.

For some reason, he thought of Nicolas Cage.

A former Oscar-winning actor who became famous earlier than him and joined the 20 million USD club earlier than him. But because of his lavish spending and a series of terrible investments, he'd fallen to the point where he'd take any movie, filming five or six terrible films a year just to pay off his debts.

'Is this the same path I, Johnny Depp, am destined to walk?'

"Stephen?!" he yelled a third time. "Where the fuck did you go?!"

"Coming, coming," his assistant, Stephen, ran up from the basement, panting, clutching a dust-covered bottle of wine. "Sir, the wine cellar is empty. I barely managed to find this one..."

"You... sigh..." Johnny Depp sighed. "Do I have any film offers right now?"

"Uhm..." Stephen hesitated, walking over with an iPad in hand. "There are quite a few offers, it's just that none of them are willing to pay what matches your—"

"Just tell me which one is the highest offer."

"It's... from the San Fernando Valley," Stephen hesitated. "From Woodpecker Film, an offer for an adult film. Eight million USD, no profit sharing."

Johnny Depp froze for a second, then erupted in fury.

"Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" he roared. "A tiger stranded on the plains is bullied by dogs! Even an adult film company dares to send me an offer?!"

"Uh, sir," his assistant Stephen hesitated, "should I reject it or—"

Before he could finish his sentence, a sock came spiraling toward him.

"Of course reject it!" Johnny Depp shouted, watching Stephen duck to dodge the sock. "How else am I supposed to survive in Hollywood?!"

Stephen gave an awkward laugh and handed the wine to Johnny Depp.

"Go on and do your thing," Johnny Depp said, taking the wine and waving his hand dismissively. "Stop hovering in front of me. I'll get a role."

Stephen looked doubtful but turned and left anyway.

Johnny Depp used a corkscrew to open the bottle of wine. He had no idea when he'd bought it, which winery it was from, or what vintage it was. Too lazy to even let it breathe, he immediately poured himself a glass.

The phone rang.

He picked it up and saw it was his accountant, Grey Brown.

"Johnny," Grey got straight to the point. "You have less than 1.2 million left in your account."

"I know."

"You don't know," his voice grew heavier. "Your fixed monthly expenses are 700,000. That includes property taxes, insurance, maintenance fees, and staff salaries for your six properties, plus previous alimony payments, your daughter's trust—"

"Stop fucking reading it out," Johnny Depp's head was about to explode. "I know, I'll figure something out."

"You'd better be quick."

"Also, can't you figure out a way to save me some money?" Johnny Depp's voice rose. "How many of these assets did you advise me to buy? But why am I still losing money after holding them for so many years?"

"If my investments were 100% accurate, I'd be making Buffett kiss the soles of my shoes, not be here working as your accountant, Johnny," Grey said. "The final decision was yours."

"Go fuck yourself."

Depp hung up, irritated.

He felt his breathing become ragged. He forcefully pulled out a large cluster of necklaces and pendants from under his collar.

These necklaces and pendants had cost over 1 million USD when he bought them. 'Fuck, if just one of them had actually been magical, I wouldn't have ended up in this mess.'

'Do I really have to take a job in the San Fernando Valley?'

He had just pushed the thought from his mind when the phone rang again.

He was about to hang up immediately, but he hesitated after seeing the caller's name and answered.

"Director Guillermo Del Toro," he said. "This is Johnny Depp."

"Johnny, I've called you several times," Del Toro's voice sounded very cheerful, which only made Johnny Depp angrier. "You didn't pick up before."

"Sorry, Director Del Toro," he said stiffly. "I was busy looking for a job." He took another sip of wine. "Is there something you need? Or did you call me specifically just to tell me I failed the audition?"

"Oh, don't worry, Johnny," Del Toro said. "Of course I'm calling you about something. In fact, it's very good news."

"Oh? I doubt there's anything that could be called good news for me right now," Johnny Depp said. "But I'm here. Tell me."

"Here's the thing. After discussing the script with Li Wei, we've significantly expanded a supporting role for a crazy King," Del Toro paused. "And Li Wei strongly recommended that I invite you to play this King."

The wine bottle in Johnny Depp's hand stopped in midair.

"Wh-What King?" he said. "You... and Li Wei both think I'm suitable?"

"Li Wei strongly recommended you for the part," Del Toro said loudly. "Ten million USD, no profit sharing. How about it? It won't lower your asking price."

Johnny Depp put down the wine bottle and pinched his calf.

'It doesn't hurt enough.'

He picked up the bottle again, hesitated, and then tapped himself on the head with it.

"Hiss... I'm not dreaming, am I?" he said, rubbing his head. "If this is a dream or an April Fools' joke, Director Del Toro, you have to tell me."

"It's not a dream!" Del Toro laughed heartily. "Li Wei increased the budget and expanded the King's role, and we both thought of you."

"Oh!" Johnny Depp shot up from the sofa and began pacing the living room. "Thank you, thank you! Thank you, Director, I..."

"You should thank Li Wei too, Johnny," Del Toro's voice softened. "It's all God's will."

"Can you give me his number?" Johnny Depp asked. "I want to thank him in person."

"Of course, but about this role—"

"I accept! I accept! Did you hear me? If you didn't, I can say it a hundred more times! I accept!"

「Two days later.」

Inside a steakhouse in Beverly Hills, Li Wei met Johnny Depp for the second time.

Depp had actually trimmed his beard and changed into a relatively clean set of clothes. This time, he wasn't wearing all his clinking accessories, and his overall spirit was on a whole other level compared to a few days ago.

"I didn't expect you to treat me to a meal," Li Wei said.

"You saved my life," Depp said, raising his wine glass. "This meal is the least I could do."

"It wasn't that dramatic," Li Wei chuckled.

"No, it's not an exaggeration at all," Depp said, taking a small sip of red wine before carefully setting the glass down. "Tax season is in half a month. If you and Guillermo hadn't given me this opportunity, I'd probably be starting to default on my accountant's and lawyer's fees by now."

Li Wei nodded. April is tax season every year, and for anyone who needs to pay taxes, April is like facing a formidable enemy.

Li Wei's sources of income over the past year were a nightmarish level of complex: his NFL salary, commercial endorsement income, corporate income from LW Beverages, the overseas production line in Monterey, and so on. Each item was a complicated task in itself.

Take his basic NFL salary for example. Besides New York state tax, city tax, Medicare, and Social Security tax, there was even something called a "jock tax" for away games. On top of that, the tax nature of each commercial endorsement contract was different.

And Li Wei's tax avoidance structure was also quite complex. In addition to "Vision Holdings" in Delaware, there was also a series of documents and clauses for transferring entities from Delaware to a Free Port.

Luckily, Li Wei didn't have to worry about this problem. A friend Don Quixote knew from his time at JPMorgan Chase now ran a boutique accounting firm on Wall Street. For a consulting fee of 1.8 million USD a year, they exclusively handled the tax filings for Li Wei and his company's employees.

Just filing Li Wei's personal taxes alone cost 1.2 million of that.

Johnny Depp's tax situation was no less complex than Li Wei's, with a great many intricacies. Li Wei completely understood why Johnny Depp couldn't afford his accountant.

Still, he felt it was a shame about Johnny Depp. After all, he was a fan of his movies, so he figured he should help him out if he could.

As he was thinking, a quest notification box popped up before his eyes.

[You have helped the wandering pirate captain.]

[The exiled pirate captain has been deserted by all; you are the only one who helped him.]

[You have practiced the Knight's virtue: Mercy.]

[You have obtained: 0.1 free attribute points.]

[You have triggered a hidden quest.]

[Woodworms on the Pirate Ship]

[The pirate captain once sailed the seven seas, but now he is an exile. His wife has left him, and his Gold Coins have been stolen. There are even woodworms gnawing at the hull of the small boat he is left with.]

[Quest Description: Find the woodworms gnawing at the ship's hull and expose them.]

[Reward: Free attribute points +0.3]

Li Wei looked at the quest notification, then at Depp, who was now eating with a hearty appetite opposite him. A thoughtful expression crossed his face.

"Mr. Johnny Depp," Li Wei said, putting down his knife and fork, "who is handling your tax filings?"