Chapter 519 – A past that protects the future [1]

(POV – Protagonist)

I couldn’t remember the last time I had dreamed. I suppose the fact that I no longer needed to sleep, combined with my apparent inability to dream, had a lot to do with that. After becoming an anomaly, sleeping had stopped being part of my routine, and over time, the very idea of dreaming had begun to feel distant. Even so, I could remember one dream I’d had. Or, at least, fragments of one.

I think it happened sometime before I became an anomaly. Before I simply woke up in the middle of an anomalous forest with no idea how I’d gotten there, while being chased by some incredibly bizarre canine creatures. They had enormous mouths where their stomachs should have been, far too many teeth, and a particularly unpleasant way of chasing people. That said, I could barely remember anything about the dream itself.

I didn’t know how the dream had started, or even why I had dreamed about whatever it was in the first place. The harder I tried to pull those memories back, the more they seemed to slip through my fingers, as if they had never really existed. The only thing that remained relatively clear, aside from the absurd and abstract sensation that permeated everything, was the memory of floating.

There was no ground. No sky. There was no direction I could recognize. I was simply there, suspended in some kind of infinite expanse, surrounded by something I couldn’t comprehend. It was a strange sensation, almost impossible to describe. It didn’t feel like I was in space, but it didn’t feel like I was anywhere I knew, either.

And for some reason, that was the only part of the dream I could still remember with any clarity. An infinite expanse. And me, alone, floating in the middle of it. I can’t say whether I was somewhere in the middle of an ocean or standing in a lush green field that stretched toward an endless horizon, so distant that it seemed impossible to see where the landscape ended.

The memory was far too vague, almost as if I were trying to remember something I had seen through a thick fog. The only thing I could remember with any certainty was that there was something with me. I wasn’t entirely sure what it was, nor could I even make out its appearance.

Whenever I tried to reach for that part of the memory, all I could recover was a strange, persistent feeling: whatever that thing was, it definitely wasn’t human. I also remembered that we had a conversation. Or, at the very least, there had been an intention for us to have one.

I remembered the sensation of speaking to that presence, of words being exchanged between us, but the exact content had simply vanished. The harder I tried to remember, the more the memory seemed to slip away, leaving behind nothing but disconnected fragments and a feeling that was difficult to explain.

I could remember, to some extent, how I had felt when I woke up the next morning. Everything had simply felt... strange. I couldn’t remember what I did after that dream, or even what happened during the period between then and the moment I became an anomaly. The memories from that time seemed to have been covered by some kind of fog, too fragmented for me to reconstruct into any coherent sequence.

But I remembered how I had felt. Trapped. I wasn’t sure if that was really the best word to describe what I had been feeling back then. Maybe it didn’t even do the feeling justice. After all, ever since I became an anomaly, words like feel, define, and even understand had started to take on somewhat strange meanings for me.

Sensations, in particular, had become increasingly distant. At first, I could still recognize them. Hunger, exhaustion, discomfort, sleep... all those little things that were part of every human being’s daily life. But as time went on, they simply stopped making sense. Technically, I didn’t need to eat.

I didn’t need to sleep. I didn’t need to rest. My body remained constantly in some kind of perfect state, or something close to it. I didn’t know what the proper scientific term for it would be, and honestly, I doubted there even was one. It was as if my body had simply decided that basic needs were optional.

And maybe that was exactly why I had such a hard time understanding certain things about myself now. I could still think about feelings. I could still recognize them when they appeared. But actually feeling them... That was another story.

With all that said, the real reason all these questions were occupying my mind was actually quite simple: I thought I was dreaming again. Or, at the very least, I was in some similar state that I had been placed in before without even realizing it.

The problem was that I was absolutely certain my last memory had definitely had nothing to do with going into space. Actually... Was this place even space? In the distance, I could see what looked like nebulae, enormous patches of diffuse color scattered across the darkness, some so far away that they looked like little more than blurry points of light.

It was an impressive sight, without a doubt, but that didn’t mean it was real. All of this could simply be a projection. A projection of space, perhaps, but a projection nonetheless. I tried to get a better look at my surroundings, searching for anything that might give me a clue as to where exactly I was. The problem was that my body simply wouldn’t respond to my commands.

I had just woken up, or at least, I believed I had, and naturally, the first thing I tried to do was figure out where I was. It was probably what anyone would do in that situation. But every attempt was met with failure. I couldn’t feel my body. There was no weight, no temperature, no texture, not even the sensation of actually occupying a physical space.

And yet, somehow, I could see. I could hear. I could perceive what was happening around me. It was a strange sensation. Almost as if I were experiencing everything through someone else’s senses. It was in this state, completely devoid of any control over myself, that my body suddenly began to move. Or rather... Float? Fly? Swim? I really had no idea how to describe it.

The sensation was remarkably similar to swimming, except without the resistance of water making every movement heavier and requiring effort. It was as if my body were simply passing through something invisible, gliding through it with absurd ease.

As for my speed... that was harder to tell. I had no idea how fast I was actually moving. In fact, I wasn't even sure whether I was really going that fast or if the sensation was merely an illusion caused by the environment around me.

After all, all I could see was darkness. Almost absolute darkness, interrupted only by countless points of light scattered in the distance. Still, there was one way to get a rough idea of my speed. I was leaving behind what I assumed were planets or stars as if they were nothing more than streaks of light.

Some passed through my field of vision so quickly that I could barely register them before they vanished into the darkness. So, yeah... I was probably moving pretty fast. Very fast. But there was a considerably more important question than how fast I was going. Where, exactly, was I going?

“Body?” I tried calling out, although my voice didn't seem to come from anywhere in particular: “Could you tell me, please? Since I apparently can't control you...” No answer. Of course. Why had I expected it to be that easy? I mentally sighed, or at least imagined that I did: “Look, I don't want to be demanding, but I'd really rather avoid running headfirst into a star as hot as the Sun. I'm not exactly sure my regeneration could handle that”

As expected, I received no response. Not that I had been expecting one in the first place. It had only been a way to pass the time... an attempt to make the journey a little less boring. An attempt that, I had to admit, had produced exactly zero results. I mentally sighed at the thought and let the matter drop. It was then that I finally realized my body was beginning to slow down.

Actually... I was stopping. I frowned slightly and raised my gaze. What the hell is that? There was something ahead of me. As I drew closer, a silhouette gradually began to take shape. At first glance, I had trouble even determining its gender. Man? Woman? Well... judging by the curving silhouette and feminine features, along with the subtle fullness of her chest, she was definitely a woman.

Beyond that, however, her face remained a complete mystery to me. It was strange. I could see the rest of her body with reasonable clarity, but whenever I tried to focus on her face, it was as if a thin mist covered her features. The harder I tried to make out her face, the more it seemed to slip away from my perception. Even so, I could still make out some of her features.

Her skin glowed with an ethereal radiance, reminiscent of polished marble beneath the soft light of the moon. It wasn't an intense glow, but something gentler, almost supernatural, that made her presence feel slightly out of place within the surrounding darkness. Her hair was even more striking.

Long and silky, it didn't seem like ordinary strands of hair at all, but rather flowing streams of molten gold or shimmering silver. They drifted gently around her body, reflecting the light with every movement and creating tiny flashes of brightness that vanished almost as quickly as they appeared.

I felt something the instant the figure's eyes met mine. Although I couldn't see her face, much less her eyes, I was absolutely certain that she was looking directly at me. It wasn't a vague feeling or a simple impression. I knew. And in that brief moment of contact, I felt emotions that weren't mine.

First came joy. A genuine happiness, almost comforting, that seemed to radiate from the figure and fill everything around us. For a moment, it was as if I were sharing in her happiness, even though I had no idea where it came from. But then something changed. Behind the joy, there was sadness.

Not ordinary, fleeting sadness, but something far deeper. An immense, crushing sadness, almost suffocating in its intensity. I didn't know why. I didn't know what had happened, much less why the figure seemed to carry so much pain within herself. Before I could even think about it, I felt my head move. A simple nod.

As if I had agreed to something. I didn't know what. And then the sadness grew. Suddenly, the sensation became far more intense, almost painful. It was as if something inside me had been squeezed tightly, and, without understanding why, my body reacted before I could even think. I pulled away.

I didn't simply retreat. I fled. My speed became so absurd that even the movement speed I had displayed earlier seemed like a child's game by comparison. The world around me practically ceased to exist as I moved away from the figure as fast as I could. And then... I woke up.

My eyes snapped open, and for several seconds I simply stared into the emptiness, trying to catch my breath and understand what had just happened. Something was wrong. I couldn't explain what. I only knew one thing. I felt as though I had lost something important. Something that, somehow, I was supposed to have protected. But I couldn't remember what it was.