Chapter 271 - 72: Silent Grief

Chapter 271: Chapter 72: Silent Grief

Chu Zhao knew this day would come.

But she had never thought about what she would do when it actually did.

Before, when she was by her father’s side, her heart would stop in terror every time he closed his eyes and drifted into a deep sleep. It would only start beating again once she confirmed he still had a pulse.

Right now, she was holding her father’s wrist. She couldn’t feel a pulse. The only thing she could hear was the THUMP-THUMP of her own heart.

Zhong Changrong’s voice drifted in and out of focus.

"—The General has been relying on medicine to keep going. There was only one dose of the final medicine left."

"It was said at the time that this medicine was for emergencies. After taking it, a withered tree could bloom again for a moment, but only for a moment."

"Without taking that last dose, the General would have held on for a long time, even in a coma."

"The General instructed me before. He said... he wanted to die on the battlefield."

At this, Zhong Changrong’s voice choked with sobs, tears streaming down his face.

"My lady, please forgive me for not telling you and acting on my own."

Chu Zhao turned to look at him. "Uncle Zhong, you didn’t act on your own. This was Father’s choice. Look." She turned her gaze back to Chu Ling. "See how happy he is?"

"Not only did Father die on the battlefield..."

"He also fought the King of Western Liang, and he defeated the King of Western Liang once more."

"And—"

She looked at Zhong Changrong again and broke into a smile.

"I was there too. I fought side-by-side with him."

"Father’s final journey was utterly exhilarating for him."

Zhong Changrong wiped his tears away with a large, clumsy hand and nodded. "Yes, that’s right. The General was very happy. With you by his side, my lady, fighting on the battlefield with his men and defeating Western Liang once more... the General leaves this life with no regrets."

’She had no regrets either. This time, she had made it to her father’s side, accompanied him, and fought on the battlefield with him. She let him see her heart, let him know he hadn’t raised his daughter in vain. He saw how capable she was, how fearless. Now, even in death, he could rest easy.’

"Send out the order. Announce it." Chu Zhao raised her hand and gently closed Chu Ling’s still-open eyes. "General Wei, Chu Ling, is dead."

Zhong Changrong hesitated. "Now? Is that wise?"

The King of Western Liang may have retreated for now, but the war wasn’t over. If they announced Chu Ling’s death, wouldn’t it shake the army’s morale?

Chu Zhao knelt before her father. "It must be now. Let the soldiers know their General fought alongside them and died on the battlefield. With a General like that, even though he is gone, he will always be with them in their hearts. Even if the King of Western Liang attacks again immediately, our soldiers will be fearless."

’The General used the last of his strength to repel the King of Western Liang. Announcing his death now won’t cause panic.’

’Grief will turn into strength.’

’They will be fearless, indomitable.’

’An army in mourning is sure to be victorious.’

Zhong Changrong agreed, stood up, and walked to the war drum himself. He began to beat it.

The soldiers, who were regrouping and resting, froze at the sudden sound. This wasn’t the beat of a war drum; it was a funeral drum. Shocked, they all turned toward the source of the sound. Not far away, command flags were waving, and a series of shouts followed.

"Send off the heroic soul of General Wei, Chu Ling!"

Like a dark cloud, the soldiers on the field surged toward the Central Army’s formation, their shouts like rolling thunder.

"General Wei, Chu Ling!"

"Send off the General’s heroic soul!"

The thunderous roar was so loud it seemed to shake half the sky.

On a distant hillside, the once-quiet horses grew restless, but their riders forgot to soothe them.

Xiao Man, who had been pointedly looking away, now turned back, her expression one of utter shock. "Chu Ling... is dead? For real? Is this some kind of tactic to fool the Western Liang people?"

She was about to say more when the person beside her shot her a glare, signaling for her to be quiet.

Xiao Man fell silent and looked at the woman in front of her.

The woman hadn’t moved for a long time. She seemed oblivious to the thunderous roars and the vibrations underfoot.

A cold wind swept by. She raised her fingers, touched a single, pearl-like tear at the corner of her eye, and gently flicked it away.

"Ah Mian, send the General off."

...

...

Chu Ling’s funeral would have to wait until the war was over. He would be officially interred only after the court received the news and officials arrived with his posthumous honors.

These past two days, Chu Zhao seemed both busy and not busy at all.

She sat in her father’s seat and discussed war matters with the generals, but she only listened, never speaking. Zhong Changrong was the one making the actual decisions.

She inspected the infirmary and comforted the wounded soldiers.

At night, she personally patrolled the camp.

It was as if her father was still there.

Standing in the open field, Chu Zhao felt the biting cold wind. Footsteps approached from behind.

Chu Zhao didn’t turn, feigning unawareness, until the person called out with a "Hey."

"The Empress is diligent in her military duties, but she can’t go without eating," Xie Yanlai said.

Chu Zhao replied, "Her Ladyship isn’t hungry. Her Ladyship is devoted to the country and its people. Drinking the wind and sipping the dew is enough."

Xie Yanlai almost laughed out loud. ’This girl is just like that,’ he thought. ’She can say something cheeky anytime, anywhere—even at a time like this.’

He suppressed his smile, stood beside her, and tossed something into her arms.

"A tribute from your humble general, Your Ladyship. Please accept it with a smile," he said.

Chu Zhao picked it up and opened the paper wrapping. Seeing a roasted chicken leg, she hummed in approval and nodded. "My dear subject is most thoughtful. Ah Le, a reward."

Ah Le, standing to the side, responded with a laugh.

Xie Yanlai didn’t thank her for the favor. He gave a dry laugh and turned to look at the inky blackness of the night, where the lights of the city glittered like distant stars.

Beside him, the girl quietly ate her chicken leg.

"If you’re sad, just cry," Xie Yanlai said suddenly.

Chu Zhao looked up at him, the chicken leg still in her mouth. "What are you talking about?" she argued indistinctly. "I’m not sad. I told you, I was prepared for this."

Xie Yanlai looked down at her. "What does being prepared matter when it comes to losing a parent?"

The moment of loss is still heart-wrenching.

’Being prepared is just a form of resignation. It doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.’

’She uses reasons like "no regrets" and "Father was happy" as armor for her body and heart, but in the end, she doesn’t even dare to enter the room where her father stayed when he was alive.’

’She can’t bring herself to face that empty room, can’t bear to think about the person she will never see again.’

Under the cold moonlight, large tears rolled down the girl’s cheeks. She hugged her knees and began to cry silently.

Ah Le started crying too. She wanted to complain about how annoying Xie Yanlai was, making their lady cry with just a single sentence. But at the same time, she felt a sense of relief. ’After the General died, my lady was so calm and composed, arranging the defenses against Western Liang, sending messages to the court, preparing the memorial services... everything was in perfect order, and it was admirable. But I knew something was wrong with her. Her emotional state wasn’t right at all.’

’When she was little, she would cry her eyes out if she couldn’t find her father during a game of hide-and-seek.’

’Now she can never find him again. How much pain must she be in?’

But Ah Le didn’t dare to say anything. She didn’t know how.

’Thank goodness for this blunt Xie Yanlai.’

’Only he could make my lady cry.’

Ah Le watched as Xie Yanlai shifted his feet and sat down next to her lady. She let out a long breath and took a few steps back.

...

...

When Chu Zhao woke up, the sky was already bright. She looked around, stunned for a moment, before recognizing her father’s room.

She was still on the small couch by the bed, but her sleeping father was no longer in the bed.

He was gone.

In this life, she no longer had a father either.

A sharp pain pierced Chu Zhao’s heart. She couldn’t help but bend over and clutch her chest. Suddenly, her hand felt something greasy, and an object rolled out from her lapels—

A half-eaten chicken leg.

Chu Zhao was stunned, then found it both annoying and funny. "Ah Le! Ah Le!"

Ah Le came running in from outside. "You’re awake, my lady?"

Holding up the chicken leg, Chu Zhao asked, "What is this? I can forgive you for not changing my clothes or washing me up, but why did you let me sleep while cuddling a chicken leg?"

Ah Le burst out laughing. "It’s not my fault!" She pointed outside, tattling, "It was Xie Yanlai! He wouldn’t let me. He said to just let you sleep like that and not to move you."

’Last night...’ Chu Zhao remembered she had been crying, and then she’d cried herself to sleep. ’Actually, I haven’t had a single peaceful night’s sleep since I came to see Father.’

"You fell asleep, and Xie Yanlai carried you back," Ah Le said. "He wouldn’t let me change your clothes either. He just took off your cloak and shoes, covered you with a blanket, and said everything else could wait until after you’d slept well. That guy—"

Before she could finish, heavy footsteps approached from outside.

Xie Yanlai walked in and said coldly, "What about ’that guy’?"

Ah Le pouted and fell silent.

Chu Zhao smiled. "My dear subject is doing very well."

Was Xie Yanlai afraid of that? He was long used to it. He chuckled. "Her Ladyship is ever so wise."