Chapter 57: Real Life

Chapter 57: Chapter 57: Real Life

"Karl?"

Karl didn’t answer right away. He stood with his hands buried in his coat pockets, studying the bed, the monitor, the half empty bowl of oats on the tray.

He pulled the stool out with his foot, sat down, and let out a long breath.

"We couldn’t meet our targets yesterday," he said.

Jared stayed quiet.

"We did two of the later five. More gates popped up. I got slightly injured." He lifted the torn sleeve with a wry smile, showing the gauze. "And I depleted my mana. All the way down. It was a long day."

"I heard."

"The others, as you know, aren’t ready." Karl rubbed the back of his neck. "They’re good kids. Sharp. Motivated. But they’re not there yet. They can’t handle an A rank by themselves. I didn’t go with most of my heavy hitters, because I thought you’d suffice."

[Kids? Isn’t this dude...]

’He just insulted me and that’s what you’re worried about?’

The words hung there.

Jared’s jaw tightened.

"So you’re blaming me now," he said.

He was tired. He was weak. A pounding headache hammered behind his eyes. And in the center of all of it, a small, stubborn flame of shame flickered, hearing a man list the things he had failed to do.

"No," Karl said at once. "That’s not what I’m saying."

"It sounded like it."

"It wasn’t." He raised both hands. "I’m... What am I saying?"

He stopped.

"Honestly, I don’t know what I’m saying. I came in here with a whole speech, and now it’s gone. I can’t quite make out the words. "

"That’s not reassuring."

"It’s not supposed to be."

[He’s flustered,]

[That’s rather charming. A captain, a grown man, tripping over his own tongue.]

’Man? Not you too. ’

’He’s eighteen.’

[He’s a very tall eighteen.]

Karl drew a breath, squared his shoulders, and tried again.

"Well. We’re going out today. Another round. Three more gates, if the schedule holds." He tapped the clipboard in his pocket. "And I’ve seen your reports. The doctor sent them up this morning. They claim you’ll be out for a week."

"That’s what he said."

"That’s not good."

"Why not?"

"Because we need you."

"Oh, please." Jared let out a short, scornful snort. "What, you can’t survive a week without me?"

"I didn’t say that."

"Don’t flatter me, Karl. I saw you fight." He waved a limp hand. "You were throwing an A rank boss around like a football. You’ll be fine."

"That’s not the point."

"Besides," Jared said, "we don’t do weekends. So it’s only 5 days."

He grinned.

He started to laugh, a rough, breathless chuckle that shook the bed rails.

Karl didn’t laugh with him.

He sat with his elbows on his knees, watching Jared quietly. The lopsided smile that had followed him around all week was gone. His eyes were steady and dark, and when he spoke, his voice was lower and flatter than Jared had ever heard it.

"I’m serious here."

The laughter died.

"I’m not talking about this team."

Jared blinked.

"What?"

"I’m not talking about this team," Karl repeated. "I don’t care about the team. The team will be fine. The team will cope. Teams always do." He leaned forward. "I’m talking about you."

The room went very still.

"Beast masters aren’t heroes," Karl said. "They may paint us to seem like such. The documentaries, the posters, the speeches. The whole show. But we aren’t. We’re just people. People with gems in our pockets."

"Okay."

"Your evolution is yours and yours alone."

Jared said nothing.

"The team is important in sports," Karl went on. "In a game, in a match, you need a squad. You need coordination, and trust, and a captain. That’s a team. But this is no sport. You must have noticed how I tried pushing the role of leader to you in that first match. " He gestured at the curtain, the walls. "This is real life. And in real life, you’re more important than any team. You’re the individual. You’re the only one who can build what you’re going to build."

His voice dropped.

"Don’t ever let them tell you otherwise."

Jared stared at him.

It wasn’t what he’d expected. Not from Karl, with his easy grin and his sly questions and his casual, mocking edge.

He had prepared himself for a lecture about duty, a reprimand about discipline, a pat on the head.

His throat felt tight.

"I say this not to scare you," Karl said, "but you’d better get out of this bed before the week ends."

"Why?"

"Else you’ll find that SSS ranked beast of yours isn’t the rank it apparently claims to be."

Jared’s breath caught.

’Devolution.’

"Beast devolution is real," Karl said softly. "Trust me."

"I know it’s real."

"Do you?"

"I..."

"I learnt it the hard way."

He said it simply, without drama. There was no bitterness in it, no self pity. It was just a fact, laid out on the blanket between them. He stared at his hands, then looked up and gave a small, lopsided smile.

"Get better," he said. "Get stronger. And don’t lose what you’ve got."

He stood.

He put a hand on Jared’s shoulder, a brief, firm pat, warm through the thin hospital gown. Then he turned and walked to the curtain, boots echoing on the tile. He paused at the opening, glanced back once, and slipped out.

Jared lay still, staring at the spot where he’d been.

[If I had eyes,]

[I’d be emotional too.]

Jared sniffed.

[That was cute.]

"I’m not sure I’d call his advice cute," Jared said, thickly. "But I definitely get the sentiment."

[It was cute. A tiny bit.]

"It wasn’t cute."

[A man pats a boy on the shoulder and tells him to look after his beasts. It’s very cute.]

"Ok Stop."

He leaned back against the pillow, breathing slowly.

His mind was turning over. Karl’s face. His voice. The way he’d said I learnt it the hard way, the way his eyes had dropped. It had been real. It had felt real.

’He definitely started with a highly ranked beast.’

The thought arrived quietly.

’He knows what it’s like to lose it. To watch it slip. That’s why he understands.’

It made sense. It made a terrible kind of sense.

’And I’m guessing that’s why he took an interest in me.’

A kid who he had presumed walked into the guild with an SSS ranked Ground Dragon. A kid who’d turned up at the testing hall with an SSS rank gorilla, too. Someone who had started with the best, the way he had. Someone he could recognize, and relate to, and teach.

’There’s no other explanation, right?’

[That doesn’t mean he didn’t steal the Ground Dragon,] Jared blinked.

[It doesn’t,] the system said again, more firmly. [Just because he’s kind doesn’t mean he’s innocent. Just because he gave you a speech doesn’t mean he didn’t take your beast. People can be both. People tend to. ]

’I know.’

[That also doesn’t mean you should think he stole it.]

’What?’

[You still think he did. I can tell. You’re lying there with a tear on your face, thinking, he’s a good man, he’s a mentor, he cares about me, and underneath it, there’s a little voice saying, but he’s the one who took her.]

’That’s not...’

[You’re getting sentimental over a little advice.]

"Oh, come on," Jared said aloud.

[It’s only a pat on the shoulder, Rex. Get over it. ]

"It was more than that."

[It was a pat on the shoulder.]

He shut his mouth and stared at the ceiling.

"I don’t know what to think," Jared said at last.

His voice was small and a little cracked.

[I’ll tell you what to think,]

"Please don’t."

[He’s grooming you.]

Jared’s head turned.

[That’s what this is. Look at it. He praises you. He bonds with you. He puts you in charge of a team you’re not ready to lead. He takes you out on raids and tests you, over and over, watching how you fight. And then he comes to your bedside and tells you, with tears in his voice, that you’re special.]

"He didn’t have tears in his voice."

[It was implied.]

"That’s..."

[He’s seen you as someone he can use. A strong rookie, a rare talent, with an SSS rank beast under his command. He knows you already have another SSS ranked beast, the gorilla. He’s just waiting for the right time to snatch it up.]

[I’m only looking out for you.]

Jared lay still.

He thought about the testing room. The mana meter. The soft, careful way he’d asked, how does one lose an SSS ranked beast and fall upon another?

A small, dry smile curled his lips.

"Yeah," he said.

[Yeah?]

"Yeah." He turned his head on the pillow. "And what if it’s Julius?"

[I never said it wasn’t,]

"No?"

[I’m not campaigning for that bastard.]

Jared stared.

Then, helplessly, he started to laugh.

He laughed until his head throbbed and his stomach hurt and his lungs ached.

And for the first time since his injury, he felt almost light.