Chapter 249 - 247: Bad Cook Empty Stomach.

Chapter 249: Chapter 247: Bad Cook Empty Stomach.

​"What the fuck , Montrel. You got that in town yesterday, didn’t you?"

Gandy hisses, not even flinching when Montrel smacks him back, " You sly bastard . I was wondering what you were up to in that store."

​"I wasn’t up to –" Montrel shoots back, and then abruptly lowers his voice, "...I wasn’t up to anything!"

​Gandy just scoffs, because please .

​" No , you were just buying a present for the fucking princess ."

​"Can you not say it like that?"

​"How else am I supposed to say it?" Gandy asks, because that was what it was , wasn’t it? "What, you trying to get her to like you or something?"

​It takes Montrel approximately one instant too long to come up with an answer.

​No way .

​Gandy’s mouth drops open.

​"Wait, you seriously want her to like you??" he gapes, and Montrel hits him again; harder this time. "...Don’t tell me you got the hots for the princess?"

​"Hey, hey, that’s not...it’s not like that! She needed one, is all!" Montrel splutters, defensive.

A little too defensive.

Enough that Gandy might have just hit the nail on the head. Which is...disillusioned, to say the least, if it’s true.

The princess doesn’t accept the advances of kings .

The fact that Montrel is even entertaining the hope that she might accept him is...kind of preposterous.

​No offence to the guy or anything; Montrel’s one of his best friends, after all. But it’s not like he’s a king, or a prince, or even from a particularly wealthy family.

​Not to mention he can be a real idiot.

​"Well, good luck on that, man," Gandy states, clapping him on the shoulder sympathetically.

​"Like I said –"

​"I know what you said," he interrupts, with an air of finality that says, and I don’t believe you .

​"...Wow, imagine if Montrel married the princess," Mural muses thoughtfully, and Gandy makes a face.

Montrel immediately makes an aggrieved shushing sound and flings a look over his shoulder to make sure no one else is within earshot to hear such a thing.

Gandy’s a bit annoyed that Mural gets a free pass for that; Montrel would’ve definitely hit him if he’d been the one who said it.

​"Don’t even joke about that," Gandy groans, "I’ll seriously barf if I ever have to call Montrel Your Highness ."

​He gets smacked again.

​Fair, he probably deserved it.

​"Like I would even want that," Montrel complains distastefully, pulling quite the grotesque face at the very notion.

​"Come on Gandy, you’ve had your fun," Mural chuckles good-naturedly, hooking an arm around his and gently but insistently starting to lead him away.

"See you at dinner Montrel."

​"Have fun~" Gandy teases slyly, and Montrel flips him off.

​"I’ll kill you."

​"Are you needed somewhere else?" Gandy hears the princess asking as Montrel strops back over to her.

​"Nah, they were just being assholes,"

comes Montrel’s response, followed by a string of fumbles as he tries to decide whether assholes is an appropriate word to use around a princess.

​Idiot , Gandy sighs to himself. Mural seems to share the sentiment.

​"Ah fuck , I mean..."

​But the princess just laughs, giggling behind her hands even as her handmaidens look appropriately aghast.

As they should. You’d think that after serving under as diligent a captain as Bongo for so long Montrel would have learned a bit of etiquette by now.

​"It’s fine, Montrel," she tells him with a smile, and behind her hands Gandy catches a dusting of red starting to rise into her cheeks.

And while it could mean absolutely nothing at all, suddenly the idea that Montrel might be in with a shot at bagging the actual goddamned princess doesn’t seem nearly as preposterous as it should be.

...

On account of Binny’s availability as Loac’s somewhat self-appointed and somewhat designated kitchen babysitter, Khobi has to wait a day or so to collect what he’s owed, but that’s just fine with him.

​It’s nice being on this side of the bench, for once.

​It looks a whole lot less nice for Binny, who has already saved two bowls Loac’s knocked over, confiscated one knife, dug out the broken eggshells of at least three eggs, and has just had a huge white cloud of flour puff right up into his face as Loac loses control of the bag.

For having been inadvertently roped into this by Khobi he’s being a pretty good sport. But judging from the stony expression he’s wearing as the dust cloud disperses, his sportsmanship has its limits.

And is fast approaching.

​Face, hair, and the entire front of his tunic coated in powdery white, Binny lets out a single, feeble cough, and turns to give his prince the most unimpressed look Khobi has ever seen him wear.

And that’s saying something; Binny’s been unimpressed with a lot of things he’s done.

Loac, still holding the bag of flour and looking comically startled by the mess he’s just made, wisely decides to set it back down on the bench.

​It’s the most absurd thing Khobi has ever seen in his life, and before he knows what’s happening, there’s laughter bubbling up and out of his chest; so deep and loud that his ribs start to ache.

​" Hey ! Shut up!" Loac glowers, tossing a handful of spilled flour across the bench at him.

Most of it scatters into dust before it reaches Khobi, and some of it even blows straight back at him and streaks a line into his jaw.

That just makes it even funnier, and Khobi has to grab onto the bench with one hand to stop himself from tumbling off his stool as he howls until his eyes start to leak.

Startled by the outburst, a couple of the nearby servants glance over to see what the ruckus is all about, and have to turn away when they see Binny with his hair and face doused in white.

​"It’s not funny," Binny says, each word punctuated with a fine puff of white as he dusts flour off his tunic in defeat.

​Gods, he is so wrong.

​Khobi doesn’t even care if he gets the honeycakes anymore.

They’re not even baking yet and it’s been worth every second.

​(Actually, scratch that. He wants the honeycakes. He’s starving, and this is payback for all the food Loac’s stolen from him or conned him into making.

​The show is just an added bonus.)