Chapter 406: Like You Don’t Belong.

Chapter 406: Chapter 406: Like You Don’t Belong.

Drogger jumps right to the chase. " –Binny has been recommended to serve in the castle guard."

​It sounds just as surreal to Binny’s ears as it had the first time.

He wonders if his expression was anything like the one Khobi’s wearing now. (He hopes not; how embarrassing, to wear a face like that in front of the Captain?)

​( His Captain , in fact.)

​"...However as this would effectively relieve him of his duties as a servant, I do require the express approval of his master," Drogger continues, as if he hasn’t with a single sentence flipped Binny’s entire world on its head.

He pauses, letting Khobi digest this information, "Am I right in assuming that that won’t be a problem?"

​"I... what ?" He didn’t give him long enough, apparently, because Khobi is looking completely at a loss. "...Can you run that by me again? Did you just say Binny’s...gonna be a guard?"

​"I did."

​Khobi’s eyes bug. " –And he’s not gonna be a servant?"

​Drogger closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, and visibly counts to three.

​"As long as that’s fine with you."

​"As long as..." Khobi echoes on a whisper, eyes wide as he turns to look across at him.

Binny offers him a lopsided grin and half a shrug, like this isn’t his dream being laid out before him on a silver platter.

​How’s about it, Khobi ?

​Realisation dawning on him, Khobi face splits into a grin, just like he knew it would, and suddenly Binny’s bones are breaking and the air goes whoosing right out of his sore, feeble lungs and he’s being squeezed within an inch of his life.

"What d’you mean if it’s fine with me ," he barks helplessly, " Why wouldn’t it be fine with me ? D’you seriously even need to ask?"

​Binny appreciates the gesture, really he does, but Khobi’s already crushed him once today and his spine hasn’t had any time to recover –

​–Ah, screw it.

​He hugs him back. And they’re both really dirty, and sticky, and Khobi’s shirt is kinda crusty with sweat, and Binny kind of wants to cry.

For all his foolish dreaming, never had he imagined that the day would come where he might actually be pulled into a Captain’s office and have everything he ever wanted be laid out before him.

Because all his life he’s dreamed of being a soldier –a secret that he’d kept close to his heart because servants weren’t meant to dream about being more than what they were; weren’t meant to lust after a life they weren’t ever meant to lead.

​And from the beginning –even before they considered each other friends –Khobi had thought that that was such bullshit .

​"Hey Khobi?" his voice comes out all muffled. That’s good; hopefully Khobi can’t hear how choked up he sounds, "...You smell really bad."

​"Good thing I know how to run my own bath," Khobi snickers, making a point not to release him.

"How am I gonna dress myself now?" Binny manages to work his face free and dramatically gulps in a few, precious lungfuls of air.

​" –If you think I’m gonna let you dress yourself just because I’m not your servant anymore, you have got another thing coming," he warns.

Gods, the guy would probably turn up to his own wedding in one of Montrel’s crappy old hand-me-downs if he wasn’t around to stop him.

​Not that he says that –there’s no need to be giving him ideas.

​And because Binny is often loud with his jokes and his jibes, he drops his voice until it’s soft enough only the two of them can hear –so that he knows he means it, "Thanks, Khobi."

​This can’t be healthy for his spine.

​How Khobi’s got enough strength left in him to crunch him like this after a day like today, he has no idea.

His own arms felt like they had the structural integrity of a cobweb even before he got squeezed tighter than the last lemon during a lunch rush.

​"I told you he’d be fine with it," Binny wheezes, as Khobi finally releases him. He must’ve pulled him off the ground a little because he staggers a little as his legs have to take his own weight again.

And usually playing I told you so with Drogger was a quick way to a shallow grave, but new inductees must get a singular free pass because the vein in his forehead only twitches slightly as he pushes out of his seat, "You did."

​It feels very, very strange to be shaking the hand of a Captain. Like something he shouldn’t be doing.

​(Eh, he’s been doing things like that for a while now, hasn’t he?)

​"Welcome to the guard," Drogger states, offering him a firm but encouraging smile.

​"Always happy to be of service," Binny quips back, and for once can say, hand over heart, that he really, honestly means it.

That makes Khobi snigger, and when he claps him on the back Binny’s legs finally give up and he sinks down into the seat he’d been too nervous to take when Drogger had called him into his office.

Servants don’t keep company with Captains, after all.

​Soldiers, however...

​The gravity of what exactly this means finally hits him.

​No more shirking his duties or working late to make up for getting a taste of training. No more shadows, no more biting his tongue, and no more pretending.

​He’s going to be a soldier, for real.

And not just any soldier; a member of the castle guard.

He can train with them, walk with them instead of behind, and eat with them instead of watching from the sidelines.

He can’t believe it. Even once Khobi’s been dismissed back to finish his dinner and Drogger’s walking him through the process from here, Binny hears the words but doesn’t hear him exactly.

(These things don’t happen.

Not for servants. Not here. Not anywhere, that he knows.) Bits and pieces of it trickle through; a uniform will be arranged for him, and he’ll be officially briefed at a more appropriate time (ie. once he’s slept and bathed), and he’ll be assigned another soldier to oversee his transition into the guard.

Pretty straightforward stuff, from the way Drogger tells it. Most of this Binny kind of knows; he’s watched Rogard go through the process after all.

​It all sounds so easy, but of course it won’t be. Drogger doesn’t say that but he knows, because he’s been there before in a way Rogard hasn’t and could never really know. Still goes through it.

​Binny’s been a servant all his life after all. He sees, he hears, he knows.

​And in the back of his mind, a thought slowly begins to push itself to the forefront; one of those secret little thoughts that he’d kept quiet because it had seemed too impossible to ever speak into life.

​Maybe now, he and Vector...?

​He knows he should put that thought aside; shove it back deep where it belongs, because he’s seen how people look at Rogard now, for getting involved with someone of common blood.

The king himself could cloak him in maroon and black, hand him a sword and call him a guard, but at the end of the day there will still be those who look at him and see a servant.

​"...And Binny?" Drogger says firmly, carefully laying a hand on his shoulder as he dismisses him, "Don’t ever let anyone make you feel as if you don’t belong here."

​(But those are the ones that don’t matter.)

​"Is that an order, Captain?" Binny can’t help but joke, and the gods must be smiling down on him today because he’s sure he catches honest-to-gods mirth twinkling behind Drogger’s steely eyes.

​"It is."

​(So maybe one day.)