Chapter 411: Everything About You.

Chapter 411: Chapter 411: Everything About You.

Khobi sighs, gaze flitting just briefly to the profile tilted down to peer back at him. In this lighting he can’t quite see Loac’s face properly, but he realises dimly that he can picture the kind of expression he’s wearing as perfectly as if there were daylight pouring in on them.

Right down to the exact, brilliant shade of his eyes.

​So bright. So blue.

​For years it had felt like Silas was all around him; always watching, always there. Sometimes he still does, even here.

But despite his nakedness, in this moment with Loac’s breath whispering against his brow, Khobi feels oddly untouchable.

​One of his hands drifts to lay across the back of Loac’s.

​"...What do you wanna know?"

​

​Everything , Loac finds himself thinking.

​I want to know everything about you .

...

It’s funny, for having been on the brink of passing out all evening –and most of the afternoon too –now that the time’s finally come to drift off, sleep won’t come to him. All he wants is to surrender to sleep; training had already left him physically exhausted, but oddly enough the real toll had come later.

​Talking about it had been harder than he had expected. Not the memories themselves; he’d made his peace with those. But Khobi’s not all that accustomed to sharing; that wasn’t a luxury afforded to him in Briyagi. You kept your hopes and dreams close and quiet, and your fears even closer and even quieter lest Silas or his men catch wind. Those sorts of things can be exploited; turned against you. Having them didn’t make you weak –in fact, it was having them that kept you strong –but if Silas found them then he’d use them until you were.

​Some habits are hard to break.

​But he feels safe here. He didn’t tell him everything –there are more memories than can be recalled in a single bath, but he told him things he’d never intended to voice aloud to anyone but his aunt and uncle.

​He told him what he remembers from the day he was taken from his home. About what it was like there – really like; the things that people hear in rumor but don’t really want to know. About the cell they kept him in, and the Pit, and the people he killed and the people he had to watch die. He told him about not knowing if his family was alive but holding out hope anyways, clinging to it like a lifeline in the darkness. Refusing to break because Silas wanted to break him, and how he’d sworn to himself that Silas Luminus didn’t get to decide who he was.

​And Loac listens. He doesn’t say much, but every now and then the way his fingers tightened around Khobi’s had given away that he’d heard every word.

​But he does ask about the scars; how he’d gotten them, and who had put them there. Khobi remembers the faces of the men who made them a lot better than he remembers what he’d done to get them. Some of the times he’d never even known. Silas’s men loved their whips, and never needed a good reason to use them.

​For some reason that makes Loac go very quiet. He says even less after that, but Khobi finds he doesn’t mind; he keeps his hand on his and their cheeks pressed together, and that feels like enough.

​He’s glad he told him.

​(Glad he asked .)

​He didn’t tell him everything, but maybe given time, he’ll know.

​(Khobi doesn’t think about just how long that might be.)

​But for now he’s happy to put such thoughts to rest. If only they would do him the same courtesy.

​He tosses again, trying to get comfortable. The bath had been getting cold by the time they got out, and now that the heat of the day has been lost to cover of night he’s starting to miss the warmth.

​The bed suddenly feels too big, and too cold.

​"Hey, Loac?"

​He knows he’s not sleeping. His breathing’s still too heavy.

​After a beat the response comes; tired but wakeful. "...Yeah?" Clearly he can’t sleep either.

​Khobi wets his lips, curls in on himself a little more, and wonders if it would be all right. "Come here for a sec."

​There’s a pregnant pause. Confusion? Or hesitation, maybe? After a beat though, the blankets begin to rustle and Khobi feels the mattress dip as Loac tentatively crosses over into the as yet uncharted territory of Khobi’s side of the bed. Over the last months Khobi’s told him to get back on his side of the bed more times than he can count; an entirely innocent invitation to join him like this would be a first. But Loac doesn’t try to kiss him; doesn’t even reach out to touch him. To Khobi’s chagrin he just...hovers there within arm’s reach, like he’s not entirely sure he’s meant to be there or what he’s supposed to do now that he is.

​With an annoyed huff, Khobi fumbles blindly in the dark for him, and when his fingers latch onto one of his hands Loac wordlessly lets himself be dragged the last few inches, until there’s no space left between them.

​"I can’t sleep," Khobi grouses, by way of explanation, settling –perhaps a little too aggressively –onto his side and making himself comfortable against the reassuring heat of Loac’s chest. He’s not sure whether he should be surprised at how neatly and how easily their bodies slot together, like two halves of the same whole.

​Better .

​For the one who had instigated this exact same thing in the bath earlier, it sure takes Loac a long time to catch on. But eventually he gets the idea; shuffling in so close against Khobi’s back that from outside the blankets it becomes impossible to distinguish whether they’re one or two. Almost completely seamless from shoulders to ankles, with Loac’s arm hooked around his waist to keep him close, it feels like one. Breathlessly warm but not nearly so much it’s suffocating, a heavy, contented sigh leaves Khobi’s lips.

​That it feels nice just doesn’t quite seem to cut it, and with Loac’s breath settling warm against his neck, the haziness of sleep finally, finally begins to set in.

...

Loac should have probably figured it out some time ago, but after tonight he knows two things for absolute certain: the first being that Khobi Frost is even more incredible than he ever gave him credit for.

The second, is that he has fallen totally, completely, stupidly in love with him.