v8c7: Pieces of a Whole

The first thing that hammered into Tianlan’s consciousness was pain.

That, at least, was what she had been expecting. When she had reconnected to the shard of herself under the Dueling Peaks, it had been intense. There was so much history there, so many things had happened. The joy and the sorrow, the victories and the defeats; the place was steeped in memories.

But the Qi there had been weak. The echoes had been faint. It had been painful, it had been uncomfortable, but it had been nothing she couldn’t handle.

This shard of herself in the Grand Ravine was an order of magnitude more powerful, more aware. And so when she connected to it… it was vastly more intense.

Tianlan’s spirit realm shuddering was the first realization that something was going to be different.

Then the sky broke. The ground, run through with cracks of gold, screamed and fractured.

And the memory of her own breaking slammed into her. Tianlan felt her limbs shatter like cheap plaster, her teeth splintered in her mouth, and her vision exploded into fractals, her eyes cracked through like glass.

It hurt. It hurt so much. She thought she was tough. She had joked that pain was an old friend, and after what she had been through she could take anything the world could throw at her.

It turned out Tianlan was overestimating herself. Nobody could get used to their body being shredded into component pieces.

The panic made it worse. Her emotions were there too. The feeling of shock, of betrayal, of anger, of terror; the memories stabbed into her mind like knives, wrenching at the carefully constructed seams that held Tianlan all together.

And then a hand landed on her shoulder. In the middle of the maelstrom, a rock was suddenly there, holding her up, and taking some of the strain.

He was beside her. Not behind her, only helping the bare minimum. Not in front of it, taking the brunt of it. But beside her, as they had promised each other.

Jin was biting his lip so hard it bled. Every single muscle in his body was spasming. The noise that escaped from his clenched teeth was that of a great animal’s dying gasp. His pupils had dilated so much they had practically consumed the iris, and the seam in the middle of his body, the two halves that had fused into a whole, started to split and widen.

And yet he stood. His feet dug in, because he knew the only way out was through. Her partner. Her friend. Her Connected One.

And from further away, feeling the distress, another presence reacted. The golden stars in the dark sky flared, pushing back against the memories trying to rend Tianlan’s world apart, Meiling doing her best to lend her own helping hand.

The pain and emotions kept trying. Kept battering. From the tearing pain to the maddening, throbbing ache, as Tianlan was consumed. Her blood and bones were torn from the ground. Her people betraying her, consuming her, slaughtering each other—

But that, at least, was easier. She knew why they had done it. She knew why it had happened to them, happened to her; Tianlan had not been the only one hurt by her own destruction. The backlash had torn open her people’s very souls, driving half of them mad, and the other half delirious.

She had blamed them for thousands of years… when they weren’t fully to blame.

That thought resonated with the part of herself she had just reconnected to. The feelings sped up; the pain and terror as her awareness fell into the abyss, unravelling piece by piece, but the node here was strong. Too strong to fall asleep completely. It had just enough power to feel. To feel the betrayal.

And as the memories surged again, to know terror.

She saw a man approach the crystal. He was a child of the Ravine, his power in the Spiritual Realm. She saw the shock, then the delight, then the greed in the Ravine Man’s eyes as he approached. As he began to consume.

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The shard of Tianlan threw its memories at the man, barely a step above animalistic instinct—but compared to what Tianlan experienced, it was a hollow echo, forced against his soul, yet even a fragment of that power was potent enough.

The Ravine Man spasmed and staggered, his joy and glee turning to shock and horror as he felt for himself Tianlan’s break. How he felt the betrayal. How he felt the power draining out of him one bit at a time.

With this much power on the line, however, she knew that such feelings mattered little to most. All the Ravine Man would have to do was brush aside the feelings, and claim the might for himself.

Yet this child of the Ravine did stop. Guilt, remorse, and horror filled his soul at what he had been about to do.

The shard of Tianlan had been shocked—shocked, but then hopeful. Happy. Altan had been there since nearly the beginning in their war against the Azure Emperor. The sons and daughters of the Ravine had been some of their strongest supporters, taking in refugees, caring for Spirit Beasts, and providing as many soldiers as they could spare for what had been their army. Altan had always been reliable… and so, too, it seemed, was this descendant.

Her shard took pity on the reeling man, trying to soothe his panicked thoughts. It showed him the good times. The times Tianlan had loved, swinging through the Ravine, laughing with Xiaoshi and Altan. Building the Dueling Peaks together with everyone; the feeling of connection she had, with Xiaoshi, but with the Ravine, too. And for a moment, the shard felt hope. That maybe, it could be like that again.

The shard was rather confused when the man took, “I hope that it can be like that again” to mean “It will be like that again.”

Tianlan felt her own thoughts jolt. The entire ‘prophecy’ was caused by a misunderstanding?

The man was overjoyed at what he saw. She felt his resolve firm, his goal for the future suddenly set. The man pulled away from Tianlan’s blood, and bowed deeply, before disappearing.

Then, in the blink of an eye to her shard, reappearing, with more people. Once more the shard felt fear.

But no one approached. No one touched. Altan’s descendants bowed their heads, in gratitude and reverence.

They believed in the man’s words. They believed in that misunderstanding. They gasped as the shard of Tianlan reached out curiously to them, but their souls were too far away, too distant. They had vague feelings, nothing more… but those vague feelings were enough.

They sat with her. They meditated near her. They loved her, they revered her, they called her a fragment of a goddess; and in her they trusted absolutely.

The memories sped up. The pain dulled. The darkness encroached on the edges of the shard’s vision. It was constantly on the edge falling into the abyss, its Qi draining away over thousands of years. The shard went from glowing brilliant gold to a dull amber.

And still people gathered around it. They sang songs. Every year they danced.

And that staved off the final oblivion.

The shard, though its vision was dark around the edges, saw a hundred generations grow up around it. It tasted the echo of their dreams. It tasted the feeling of their reverence. It shuddered under the force of their worry and despair, when once more they had to go to war.

Through it all, the shard felt the hope. The hope, that it was said, one day, the Herald of the Earth would return.

One day, things would be better. And not even just solely for them, the children of the Ravine. Most believed the Herald would spread their gifts to all… and they were content with that.

They just had to last. They just had to keep defending their home. The Ravine was enough for their mighty ancestors, so the Ravine was enough for them.

The vision faded. Jin heaved in a shuddering breath. “God damn,” he muttered, his voice a rasp. Tianlan reached up and placed her hand over his. No words needed to be said. He knew her gratitude, just as she knew his. The stars above twinkled gold—and they could hear grumbling about poisoning what had just hurt her and her Connected One. Tianlan giggled at the fierce protectiveness coming from Meiling, and let out a breath, looking back down.

The link fully connected, solidifying, and provided power to the old, ancient pillar of her blood.

The amber spire that had appeared in her mindscape glowed, going from dull to blinding gold like a sunrise, and from that light, something moved.

Before them… stood herself.

Or a Tianlan that was not quite Tianlan. There were differences, disjoints, and things familiar but not quite.

She was older than her current form. She stood slightly taller than Tigu, slightly shorter than Xiulan. She had freckles on her nose, and eyes of the purest sky blue. Her bearing was regal, a queen, a goddess. She was the earth and the sky, dressed entirely in the clothes of the Ravine, of blues vibrant and bold. On her hand was a tattoo that disappeared up her sleeve, on her waist was an Olsokh Ir, and on her back was a bow.

The shard of Tianlan raised her hands up so she could see them, looking fascinated. She touched her face, and tears sprung to the corners of her eyes.

“I’m… me, again?” she asked, her voice wavering, like she couldn’t believe it, but even wavering it was regal, bold, and beautiful.

Tianlan knew the feeling all too well. She had felt the same disbelief when she had first woken up. The same wonder.

Beside her, Jin bent down. His hand touched the earth, and with it, went his Qi. Her other part jolted. Her eyes snapped to them. Two blue eyes landed on her and her Connected One. Ancient. Measuring. Weighing.

Jin stood under that weight, under the assessment… and smiled at her shard, his Qi radiating only honesty and warmth.

“Hey there, sleepy head,” he said. “Take your time. You’ve been asleep for quite a while.”

“It's rough, waking up so suddenly,” Tianlan agreed, smirking at the older version of her, more like how she had looked when she had incarnated into a human body, so long ago.

Her other part’s eyes softened. The tears at the edges of her eyes beaded and began to fall. She took a tentative step forward, then another, then another, stumbling, almost falling, when Jin and Tianlan caught her.

She held onto them like they were about to disappear; and Tianlan shared her own memories, sending them down the thickening link much more gently than her shard had given her memories.

Because damn, Tianlan still had a bit of a headache! That had hurt!