Chapter 100. Three Heartbeats in the Quiet: Mine, Hers, and One Far Away Still Asleep

Chapter 100: 100. Three Heartbeats in the Quiet: Mine, Hers, and One Far Away Still Asleep

Ding!

[BOND STATUS UPDATE]

[Partner: Velora Nightclaw]

[Species: Pantherkin]

[Rank: SSS]

[Bond Status: Established]

[Partner Record: Elsbeth Evershade, Millie, Velora Nightclaw]

[Lust Energy: 100/100 Passive decay will resume.]

I woke to the sound of that chime, and for a moment I didn’t know where I was...

Pale morning light poured through the window. A faint scent of cold iron and clean linen lingered on the pillow.

And the blanket... was warm.

I lay there for a while, with my eyes open, and stared at the ceiling.

’Oh yeah... can’t believe that I actually did it...’

’You son of bitch... I... fucking did it...’

’I fucked Velora...’

I felt good. That was the strange part.

My hands had stopped shaking. And my head was clear.

The terrible gray fog that had hung over me for days was gone, and in its place was something that felt almost like an ordinary morning.

It felt wrong, to be so well... It felt like cheating. But it is what it is.

Still though... I could feel Bonette’s grave in my chest like a stone, and I understood that I could be well and still be grieving.

They were two different rooms in the same house.

[REWARD SELECTION: VELORA]

[Nightstep: A short burst of speed over a limited distance, leaving a faint afterimage in your wake.]

[Sheathed Lightning: Greatly increases the speed of draw and cut.]

[Veil of Dusk: Conceals the host from sight and sound for a brief time.]

I read the three options several times.

Sheathed Lightning would have suited the training I’d done with Velora.

It made me smile a little, thinking about it. But I kept coming back to a courtyard, and a smiling man in white who slipped through puddles and windows like a ghost, and a pair of golden chains that came out of nowhere.

I’d watched Velora go rigid in a shell of amber.

I’d watched Elsbeth’s spear miss him by an inch.

I needed to be where he wasn’t expecting me.

’Nightstep,’ I thought. ’For that fucking bastard... Cassian.’

[Selection confirmed.]

[Limiter Release: Available. Lust Energy above threshold.]

It settled over me like a second pair of lungs. I felt the new thing curl up in the base of my spine, waiting.

I wasn’t sure what it would feel like to use. I thought I’d probably find out the hard way.

"You are awake," said a voice.

Velora was sitting on the edge of the bed with her back to me, running her fingers through her hair. She’d put on her shirt and her trousers... oh my man, and here I thought we were going to have a pillow talk.

The sunlight caught the silver in her hair and turned it to metal. When she heard me move, she stiffened, just slightly, and her shoulders squared.

"Good morning," I said.

"Good morning." She didn’t turn. "You are... recovered?"

Oh...? Seems like she’s back to usual, but I can tell she’s feeling all embarrassed after what we just—wait, it’s more like what she just said to me, all of the genuine feeling coming from her heart.

"A lot better actually."

"That is good."

There was a long, awkward pause. Her ears had gone dark pink.

"Uhhmm... I would like my ribbon," she said.

I looked at my wrist. The white ribbon was still tied there in its neat little bow.

"Oh yeah... thank god it’s still there. But still... there’s some stain—"

She screamed. "Don’t mention it!!!"

"Alright then."

I untied it. It was warm and a little rumpled.

I held it out, and when she reached back for it, I caught her hand in mine and turned it over, and without a word, I wrapped the ribbon around her hair and tied it back in a high ponytail the way she always wore it.

"There..."

My knots were terrible. The bow came out lopsided.

Velora reached up and touched it. She was silent for a long time.

Then a laugh escaped her, short and surprised, and she covered her mouth with her hand.

"That is dreadful," she said.

"I’m aware."

"It is crooked."

"It’s artisanal."

"I do not know what that word means."

"It means I did my best."

She turned and looked at me then, and her face was bright and open and a little shy. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything better in my life.

"Please don’t talk about anything related to yesterday, okay...?" She said. "For now... we have to focus on what’s in front of us."

I get what she meant, in fact... women, when they’re horny and drowned in love, always say such ridiculous things, but I love it.

"Don’t worry. You can count on me."

"I will REALLY end your life if you talk about something related to, you know what I mean, right?"

"Yes, ma’am."

Velora smiled and then got closer for the last time to give me a quick kiss on the forehead. "Remember this until we’re home and save Millie, okay?"

"Got it!"

...

I ate breakfast. And goddamn... it tasted good, maybe because I haven’t had any food before since I was in a depressed state.

It wasn’t good... I don’t want to feel it again.

I want you to understand how remarkable that was.

I walked down the narrow stairs of the Sleeping Fox into a low common room that smelled of woodsmoke and frying bacon, and I sat down at a long scarred table, and I ate everything in front of me.

Eggs. Sausage. Porridge. A whole loaf of brown bread with butter.

Old Tobin watched me with a gleam of grim satisfaction and kept refilling my plate without a word.

Magnara and Sylvara were already at the table.

They were sitting on opposite sides of it, very stiffly, not looking at each other.

Magnara had her arms folded. Sylvara was holding a cup of tea in both hands and studying it as if it contained the secrets of the universe.

When I came in, they both looked up, and both of them went entirely still.

I didn’t say anything. And so I sat down.

I took a piece of toast.

Velora came in behind me, with her ribbon crooked and a flush still lingering in her cheeks, and sat down at my side.

She picked up her own cup. And she gave Magnara and Sylvara each a long, flat stare, the kind that suggests the speaker is carefully selecting which words to use when she threatens them.

Neither of them said a thing.

"The soup was excellent," I said, to the room at large.

Sylvara made a tiny strangled noise and buried her face in her tea.

Magnara cleared her throat very loudly and stared at the ceiling.

Velora’s ears went bright pink.

And somewhere in the back of the room, Old Tobin let out a long, dry cackle that went on far too long.

I took a bite of toast and tried to look innocent.

But still... I did not forgive Sylvara that morning.

I want to be honest about that. I looked at her across the table, and I saw how tired she was and how carefully she kept her eyes on her cup.

I could see the strain in the set of her shoulders. I knew that she was sorry, and yes... I knew she’d lost someone too.

But... I wasn’t ready.

"Thank you for the tea," I said, when I stood up to leave.

She looked up. Her purple eyes were wide and wet.

"I did not think you drank it," she said, in a small voice.

"I spilled it."

"Oh..."

"But I read the note."

She was quiet. And then she looked down at her hands.

After a long moment, she nodded.

"That will do," she said softly.

It was only a start. We both knew it.

But it was a start, and I took it.

I stood at the window of my little room that morning, alone, as the others were having breakfast. The sun had come up, thin and pale, over the dark pines.

The air was cold and sharp and smelled of snow.

In the sky, faint but clear, hung two moons.

I looked at the bright one. It was fainter now, washed out by daylight, a small white disc low in the western sky.

But it was there. It hadn’t gone anywhere.

I let my mind go quiet. I let myself listen.

And I felt it.

I’d been feeling it for days, I think, without understanding what it was.

A tiny, faint, rhythmic pulse, somewhere at the bottom of my awareness, like a heartbeat heard through a wall. It was so quiet I’d mistaken it for my own.

But it wasn’t one beat... It was three.

There was my own heartbeat, fast and a little ragged, thudding in my chest.

There was a second, warm and steady, somewhere behind me, down the hall, in the room where a woman was lacing her boots.

It was calm and sure and strong, and it beat in time with something I couldn’t name.

And there was a third.

It was slow. It was very, very faint.

It came from the sky, from a point somewhere far to the west, so distant that I could barely hold on to it. It beat once and paused and beat again, like a heart that was not yet ready to wake.

[Partner Velora: Covenant thread forming...]

I stared at the line of text. I didn’t know what it meant.

I had no idea what a Covenant Thread was, or why it was forming, or what it had to do with the soft, slow pulse I could feel in the sky.

But I knew exactly whose heart that was.

I put my hand against the cold glass. I didn’t try to say anything profound.

Well, it was more like I’d run out of profound things a long time ago.

"Wait for me," I whispered.

The third heartbeat thudded once, very softly, and went quiet.