Chapter 36. Talked My Way Out of a Restraining Order Once, Now I Can’t Talk My Way Out of This

Chapter 36: 36. Talked My Way Out of a Restraining Order Once, Now I Can’t Talk My Way Out of This

I opened the door while rubbing my eyes.

"Do you know what time..."

Magnara stood on the doorstep, with her axe on her shoulder and her face carefully blank.

"...is it?" I manage to complete the full sentences because I didn’t expect a visit... a MASSIVE visit at that.

Turns out, Magnara is not by herself... Elsbeth was beside her, standing a little too straight.

And behind them was a stranger I’d never seen before, a slender figure in a long white robe with a silver crescent moon embroidered on the chest.

The hood was pulled low over their face, just so that I could clearly see if it was a he or a she.

I opened my mouth to ask. "Uhh... who the hell is that?"

The stranger didn’t look at me. They didn’t even glance in my direction.

Their gaze was fixed on the figure sitting in the bed behind me, the small, startled girl with white hair and rabbit ears wrapped up in a blanket. They stepped forward, pushed back their hood, and dropped to both knees on the stone floor.

Their voice shook as they bowed their head.

"Your Highness," they whispered. "We have been searching for you for a very long time."

’W-what’s going on here...?’

’What does she mean by your highness...?’

There is a very specific kind of silence that happens when you open a door half dressed, with a bandaged side and hair that looks like a bird tried to nest in it, and discover that your girlfriend’s long-lost servant is kneeling on the floor in front of her while a wolf and a minotaur watch you from the hallway.

I would describe that silence as... loud.

"Your Highness," the stranger in the white robe said again, still bowed so low that her forehead nearly touched the stone.

Her voice was thick, as if she was trying very hard not to cry. "After all these years... I have found you at last."

Behind me, I heard a soft rustle, and then a very small... very strangled sound.

Millie had dragged the blanket up over her head, and the whole lump of it was trembling. I didn’t need to look to know that her ears had gone flat and that she was blushing so hard her face probably glowed.

Fuck... I fucking forgot... she hasn’t changed yet...!

I should have said something clever at this moment since I’m a professional at it.

In my old life, I’d once talked my way out of a restraining order using nothing but a compliment about the judge’s earrings.

But my brain had stalled... I don’t know why! Maybe because I’d also noticed that the robed stranger’s eyes had left Millie and begun to travel slowly around the room.

They landed on a pile of clothes on the floor, then on the rumpled bed, and then... on the blanket that was now shaking like a leaf.

And that was the moment I fucked up... I can see it... very slowly, they who I call a stranger who’s now a woman... came to rest on me.

I watched her expression change. It was like watching a kettle go from simmering to screaming without any steps in between.

"You," she said softly. "What did you...?!"

"Okay," I said, raising both hands. "Let’s not start any trouble here because I know how this looks."

I never saw her move.

And yes... I want to be very clear about that, because I’ve since gotten pretty good at following fast things, and I’d even say that Apex Physique made my eyes better than most.

But fucking hell... it was unreal the next second.

One second the woman was kneeling on the floor, and the next... she was standing directly in front of me with a thin silver knife pressed against the underside of my chin.

Gulp!

I felt the cold edge settle against my throat before my brain had even registered that she’d left the ground.

S-she’s fucking fast...! I can’t even catch her movement by an inch!

I tried to check the radar just to make sure if she’s an SSS-Rank Beastwoman, but... It was blank. And it gave me nothing.

Whoever this woman was, she wasn’t an SSS-Rank, and the system had no opinion about her.

That was almost worse, because it meant she was just a normal, ordinary beastwoman who could kill me in the time it took to blink.

She was tiny, too... That was the part that really got me.

She barely came up to my shoulder, with a slight build, dull light-brown hair that looked like it had been cut with a kitchen knife, and a pair of short, slightly crooked bunny ears.

Her white robe was plain and a bit threadbare. If you’d passed her in the market, you’d have assumed she sold turnips.

"Did you force her...?!" the turnip seller asked, in a voice like a frozen pond.

"Fuck no! Absolutely not!"

"Did you take advantage of a lady’s trust, you lowly human!?"

"No! God, no!" I shook my head. "That’s the opposite of what happened!"

"Then why," she said, tilting her head very slightly, "is Her Highness naked and hiding under a blanket... weeping?!"

"Why do you even call that weeping? She’s... uh... probably embarrassed. "I raised my finger to clarify it more. "That’s a different thing! And it’s very clear that you should calm down first."

"Calm down?! After knowing that she is wearing nothing under the blanket?!"

"Well, duh...! That’s because it’s the morning!"

"It’s what people do in the morning, sometimes, after..." I stopped.

Even I knew that was a bad road. "Okay, let me start over!"

"I can explain everything, and I want you to know that I would absolutely do it with a presentation, if I had any visual aids, but I don’t... so you’ll have to just trust me on this."

"I do not know what a presentation is... you lowly humans always have such ridiculous words!"

"It’s a thing where you put up slides and people fall asleep... It’s great!" I sighed. "But look... the point is..."

"Leon," Magnara said from the hallway, in a voice that suggested she was developing a headache.

She had put one enormous hand over her face and was slowly dragging it downward.

"Sshh! I’m handling this!"

"You are not."

"I will not interfere," Elsbeth announced, leaning against the doorframe with her arms crossed and an expression of perfect, serene calm. "This is entertaining... and I think you deserve that since the cave."

"Oh wow! Thank you so much, Elsbeth, my dearest wolfy! Great teamwork!"

"You are welcome, my stupid human."

Every time I opened my mouth to explain, the knife pressed a little closer, and every sentence I said seemed to make her expression a little more murderous.

I told her that I’d never touched Millie without being asked. And of course... She asked how many times I’d been asked.

I said three, which was technically true, and then realized that it sounded like a confession.

"Just please stop talking," the bunny woman said.

"I really think that’s a good idea."

It was Millie who saved my life, which seems to be a pattern. But now I realize... shouldn’t I just let Millie fix this misunderstanding?!

The blanket moved. A pair of white ears poked out first, followed by a flushed, wide-eyed face, and then the rest of her, wrapped in the quilt like a very nervous burrito.

She stood up on shaky legs, clutching the edge of the cover under her chin, and in a voice that was small but impossibly firm, she said, "Please put the knife down..."

The woman went completely still.

"He didn’t force me," Millie said. "I chose this... I chose him as my human."

"Highness..."

"He asked me three times if I was sure... He told me I could stop whenever I wanted." She lowered her hair.

"He even said he wouldn’t be angry." Her voice wobbled, but she kept going. "He’s the one who opened my cage..."

"He’s the only one who ever asked me what I wanted, so please..." Millie looked at the woman with a fierce look. "Please don’t hurt him or I’ll be mad!"

For a long moment, nobody moved.

The knife stayed exactly where it was, pressed against my windpipe. I could see the bunny woman’s eyes swimming, and I realized that she was looking at Millie with an expression so raw and so full of old, aching grief that I felt like I was intruding on something private.

Then slowly... very slowly... the blade lowered.

Fuhh... thank god... dodge a bullet again. But it’s a knife this time.

"Forgive me," she whispered.

She dropped onto both knees again, sheathed the knife somewhere in the folds of her robe, and pressed her forehead to the floor so hard that I heard a distinct thud. "Forgive me, Highness..."

"I have failed you again... I raised a blade against the one who saved you."

"I am unworthy of my place... Please allow me to atone with my life!"

"You don’t have to atone with your life," I said quickly. "Seriously... I forgive you."

"And please stop doing that."

"I nearly killed the man who rescued the last daughter of Lunhare!"

"You did! It was a really close call... But it’s fine, we’re all fine, nobody’s dead."

"Can you please get off the floor? You’re making me feel like the villain here..."