Chapter 239: Lamenting Mother

Waiting had never been one of Gideon’s strengths.

Every second that passed made him want to pull the curtain aside and rush inside, to do anything that might help, even if all he could do was stand beside Delilah and encourage her.

Maybe it wasn’t impatience. He simply hated the unknown. He always had.

Ever since he was a child, surprises had never excited him. They only reminded him that things could change in an instant, completely beyond his control.

This was no different.

In the span of five minutes, everything could go terribly wrong, and there was nothing he could do except pace back and forth outside the makeshift emergency section while listening to muffled voices from behind the curtain.

The sound of Delilah’s pained groans echoed through the tent.

As long as she was still groaning, Gideon could tell himself she was fighting.

Then...

The groans stopped. Silence settled over the clinic. His heart sank.

What if they lost the baby? He would mourn the child, of course, but Delilah...

She would be devastated.

Just as Gideon was about to lose what little patience he had left, the curtain was pulled aside.

Elaine stepped out. Her hands had already been washed clean, but the sleeves of her simple purple nightgown were still stained with blood.

Gideon closed the distance between them in two quick strides.

"Is she alright?"

Elaine nodded. "Delilah is stable. The baby is still alive as well..."

She hesitated. "but it’s weak. I honestly don’t know if it’ll survive."

Gideon’s brows furrowed. "What do you mean? You just said the baby’s fine."

"For now."

Elaine let out a quiet sigh.

"But that’s all I can say. We don’t have enough equipment to properly monitor the pregnancy. The ultrasound machine you bought a few days ago helps, but it doesn’t magically solve everything."

Gideon ran a hand through his hair.

"Then what am I supposed to do?" His voice dropped noticeably. "I can’t stay beside her all day. I still have an entire territory to manage. There are conflicts here and outside that need to be resolved, people depending on me."

The words trailed off. For the first time in a long while, Gideon felt helpless.

As the head of the household, he should have stopped the argument before it escalated this far.

Elaine seemed to read his thoughts. She placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

"It’s okay. Just keep doing what only you can do. When you’re away, I’ll take care of Delilah."

A faint smile crossed her lips. "I’ve already done the same for Summer."

She paused before adding with an awkward laugh, "As for Freya... I’m afraid she’s completely outside my area of expertise. Summer was easy. She’s become surprisingly gentle lately. Maybe becoming a mother changed her."

"But Freya?" Elaine rubbed the back of her neck. "She’s... unpredictable. Emotional. Like a ticking bomb. I’m worried that if I say the wrong thing, I’ll only make everything worse."

Gideon narrowed his eyes. "You heard everything?"

Elaine coughed lightly. "Well... Freya’s been giving Delilah the cold shoulder for the past two or three days. Delilah stayed patient, but even patience has its limits. So... yes, I had a pretty good idea where things were heading."

"Elaine."

His voice grew noticeably sharper.

She immediately raised both hands in surrender. "Fine! I was eavesdropping. But I really did try to help them reconcile."

"I just..." She searched for the right words before finally admitting, "I don’t actually know how. I’m a really awkward person."

"And you have anger issues," Gideon added.

Elaine rolled her eyes. "Oh, please. That’s completely unrelated."

She shivered dramatically before hugging herself. "Now stop interrogating me and go see Delilah. I need to change clothes."

She glanced toward the bloodstains on her sleeves before grimacing.

"And seriously... it’s freezing here."

Chuckling despite everything that had happened, Gideon shook his head.

"Thank you, Elaine."

She answered with nothing more than a casual wave before disappearing behind another curtain to change, leaving Gideon standing alone once again.

Taking a deep breath, Gideon finally stepped inside.

Delilah lay curled on her side with her back facing him, her shoulders trembling as silent tears continued to stream down her face. She didn’t even bother turning around when she heard his footsteps.

"Did I fail?" she asked quietly.

He knew exactly what she meant.

Gideon sat down on the edge of the bed and gently brushed a few loose strands of hair away from her face.

"No," he answered softly. "Freya is just in a difficult situation. She has to face the truth about her father and the image she’s built of him all these years."

"Learning who he really is probably feels like someone is trying to destroy a part of her identity, and now she’s struggling to accept that reality."

Delilah let out a bitter chuckle.

"That sounds like a rational deduction." She bit her lower lip before continuing, "But I don’t think it’s that complicated. She always loved her father more than me... and maybe she was right. I’m a terrible mother. I’ve spent years building my life on lies."

She closed her eyes as more tears escaped the corners of them.

"If I had just told Jade and everyone else that Leon might still be alive... maybe I would’ve been punished. Maybe everyone would’ve hated me. But at least Freya would’ve gotten what she wanted..." Her voice became almost a whisper. "...For me to die."

Her tone wasn’t filled with anger or resentment.

It sounded like someone quietly accepting a verdict that had already been decided.

Gideon shook his head. "No. She didn’t mean those words the way you’re interpreting them. She’s still a teenager, Delilah. A very angry one."

’People her age make mistakes, say things they’ll regret, and this mistake almost cost us our baby. If you keep accepting those words as the truth, then that mistake might end up costing more."

He sighed before continuing. "I know you don’t actually believe Freya truly wants you dead. You’re just looking for another reason to blame yourself."

Delilah suddenly sat upright.

"So what am I supposed to do?!" she shouted, her voice hoarse from crying. "Freya wasn’t joking! She said it as though it were the truth! I’m a bad mother! I’m a terrible person! I should’ve realized what kind of man Leon was and left him before everything became a mess, before everything fell apart, before it was too late!"

She clutched the blanket so tightly that her knuckles turned white.

"My love for him, my hesitation, my stupidity... They’re the reason my family was torn apart. So many people died. Your precious territory became a target because of me. Everything happened because I kept making the wrong decisions."

Her breathing became uneven as she looked at Gideon with red, swollen eyes.

"You should’ve blamed me instead."

Her voice trembled with anger. Not anger toward him. Only toward herself.

Gideon gently wiped the tears from her cheeks with his thumb.

"A terrible person wouldn’t spend every waking moment blaming themselves, regretting their mistakes, and trying their best to make things right."

"A bad mother wouldn’t care about what her daughter said, wouldn’t grieve over the family she could’ve had, and certainly wouldn’t keep trying to apologize and make amends."

Delilah slowly closed her eyes as his hand moved to cup her cheek.

"You’re not a terrible person, Delilah. You’re a flawed one." He paused before adding quietly, "And you’re also a very weak person."

Her eyelashes trembled.

"You don’t want to lose another child, do you?"

Delilah slowly shook her head before giving a faint nod. "...I’m sorry."

Gideon sighed. "You’ve been apologizing for the past three days. If you keep saying it over and over again, it’ll eventually lose its meaning."

The words were blunt, almost harsh. Yet the small smile on his face softened them.

"So stop apologizing for now. Get some rest. We’ll continue this conversation later."

He gently guided her back onto the bed, adjusted her pillow, and pulled the blanket over her body.

Just as he was about to stand, Delilah reached out and grabbed his hand.

"Gideon. Stay with me for a little while."

Her grip tightened slightly.

"I’m scared of my own thoughts right now. Just... talk to me. About anything." She forced a weak smile. "I think the way you look at things... that cold, overly rational way of yours... somehow calms me down."

Gideon let out a quiet laugh before sitting back down, crossing one leg over the other.

"Of course. I still have some time before I need to officially announce the completion of the apartment." He leaned back slightly. "After that, I’ll have to start another project."

"What project?"

"Bullets." He sighed. "A lot of bullets. For those damned flowers."

Delilah chuckled weakly. "The Grave Flowers. They’re beautiful. I don’t know why, but it feels like everything beautiful in this world comes with something terrifying hidden beneath it."

Gideon nodded. "As it should. Beauty is a weapon in nature and always been more dangerous than people give it credit for."

A small smile finally appeared on Delilah’s face.

"You’ve changed or maybe... I never really knew you. The first time we met, I honestly thought you were just an arrogant brat."

Gideon laughed. "Well... I’ve got three babies on the way, two regional conflicts that could wipe out entire territories, and a settlement full of people expecting me to solve all their problems."

He smiled helplessly. "If I keep acting like a brat, people die. You’ll keep blaming yourself."

"And Freya might lose even more than she already has."

Delilah’s fingers unconsciously tightened around his hand.

"You need to talk to her."

"I will. But after you’ve gotten some rest."