Chapter 62 62. Just So You Know

Rippa was lazing in her bed when a knock came at her door.

“Filippa, Buttons and Goggles are here,” said Mom’s voice.

“Huh?” Rippa sat up. She checked the time on her phone. Ten in the morning. Then she remembered, ‘Wait, aren’t they going to the library today?’ She wondered what business the two had with her.

When Rippa went down to the living room, Buttons and Goggles were sitting on a long sofa. Mom was serving tea.

“Good morning,” greeted Buttons and her butler. “We popped in before heading to the library.”

Rippa hugged her little friend. “Aw, Buttons, you look so cute.”

The kid blushed. She was wearing a white, lace-collared one-piece dress that came down to her knees, and a pair of white lace socks. She wore a white wide-brimmed hat with a sky-blue ribbon, which matched the color of the ribbon that draped around the waist. Very simple and cute, yet there was a subtle air of decorum.

The butler was in his dark suit, with a necktie that matched the sky-blue color of his ojousama’s ribbon.

“You two look so nice,” Rippa commented, sitting down on the sofa across the tea table. She gave a thumbs-up.

“Yes. So cute,” Mom agreed, taking a seat beside her daughter.

Goggles took a sip of his tea and gave a nod of appreciation. “At this point, I can happily say, with confidence, that we are good friends. So, in order to minimize your shock, we came to give you a heads-up,” he said.

“What heads-up?”

Goggles took another sip and set his cup down. “I have informed them we will arrive by teleportation at ten thirty. At eleven, the official ceremony will start. Speech, ribbon-cutting, group photos, and such.”

“OK?”

“Then a tour of the library at half past eleven. Then lunch at twelve.”

“Sounds good to me,” said Rippa, but to be honest, she was wondering why Goggles was telling her all that. She noticed Buttons fidgeting.

“Sometime between ten thirty and eleven, I will be murdered,” said Goggles flatly.

Rippa and Mom almost choked on their tea. They shouted in unison, “What?”

“Or, to be precise, I will pretend that they succeeded in killing me.”

“No, Goggles, wait.” Rippa held up a hand. “Slow down, please. What the fuck are you talking about?”

Goggles leaned back and crossed his legs. After a pause, he spoke, “The US government and its allies see me as an existential threat.”

“What? Why?” both Rippa and Mom demanded.

The butler threw a painful glance at Buttons. “The crypto incident…”

Buttons looked as if she wanted to hide in a hole.

Rippa found it unbelievable. “What? For money? Because of Rippcoin? Just for that?”

“No. Not only that. The little crypto mishap was just what was needed for them to be convinced that I am capable of ending Western civilization.”

“But you are the one who stopped the whole thing!”

“You see, Miss Rippa, many people are convinced that I am the one with the real power.” Goggles paused and looked at Buttons. “They see Buttons as… just a toy.”

“But that’s nonsense!” Rippa objected to that idea. “You two are—” she stopped, remembering she hadn’t told her Mom about the cosmic octopus. That was something she was not going to tell anyone without explicit consent from her two dear friends. “But this is just too unbelievable!”

Goggles sighed. “Sadly, there is an internal logic to their need to eliminate me. Our little Buttons had swung a gigantic axe at the load-bearing pillar of an empire.”

Rippa and Mom looked at Buttons in disbelief.

Goggles continued, “And they think I am the axe. Hence, this ploy.”

“Wait, wait,” Mom interjected. “You said you will pretend?”

“We’ll be rocks,” said Buttons eagerly and looked at Rippa for approval. She got none.

“Yes, indeed,” the butler nodded. “As I told Miss Rippa some days ago, this event will be where we lay out our terms of coexistence.” He looked straight into Rippa’s eyes. “Our message will be simple. We cannot be removed—”

“Wait!” Rippa interrupted him. “You said they will try to kill you? What about Buttons?”

“I’m safe,” said Buttons. “They don’t plan to kill me.”

“How do you know that?” asked Rippa, but then retracted it after seeing Goggles’ face. “Yes, of course. Sorry.”

“So, anyway,” said Goggles, picking up his teacup from the table, “I thought we would let you know in advance.”

Rippa eyed him for some seconds. The man was calmly sipping his tea. She turned to Buttons. “You knew about this?”

“Huh? Yes? He told me when we got the invitations, remember? You were there.”

“No, I don’t?”

“Ahem.” Goggles cleared his throat, then moved a finger between his and Buttons’ heads.

“Ah… OK.” The kid nodded. “Sorry, I thought you also heard him.”

Rippa glared at the two. She crossed her arms. “Don’t go.”

“She’s right,” Mom chimed in. “Don’t go. This is too dangerous.”

“Eh, but this was your idea, Rippa,” said Buttons. “I’m gonna brush it off, see?”

Rippa exploded. “The fuck do you mean it was my idea? When did I suggest you walk into an ambush?”

“The alternative is,” Goggles said, leaning in, “I appear in the Oval Office with a live hand grenade.”

Things clicked in Rippa’s head. “Wait… you mean, this is all because I told you guys to stop going around threatening people?”

“Well, I’m an old-fashioned girl,” said Buttons. “Gotta adapt to the modern world, no?”

Rippa was speechless.

Mom was giving her a look that said, ‘What did you do?’

“I didn’t mean for you guys to go get yourselves killed!”

“We won’t—”

“No!” Rippa sprang up. “Buttons, you are not going. What if things go wrong? What if they change their mind and try to kill you, too? Why do you even need to make this happen?”

“Goggles, you mustn’t go either,” added Mom.

That made Rippa reevaluate what she had just said. She had, indeed, come off as if she was OK with Goggles going. She wasn’t. “That’s right,” Rippa nodded. “Both of you are not going. Call them and tell them the kid got the flu or something—”

“Miss Rippa, that would be just kicking the can down the road, so to speak.”

“I don’t care!” Rippa flailed her arms. “I don’t want you guys to get hurt!”

“We won’t get hurt—” Buttons was trying to assure her friend.

“I don’t wanna even imagine the possibility of—”

“That’s the whole point, Rippa!” Buttons shot back. “That it’s impossible!”

Rippa glared at the little child.

Mom nervously looked back and forth between her daughter and Buttons. “Let’s all calm down,” she suggested rather weakly.

“Yes, let us calm down,” said Goggles. “I assure you, Miss Rippa, nobody will be hurt. Nobody will fear for their lives. We will simply… brush it off.”

“And continue as if nothing happened,” Buttons added, holding Rippa’s gaze. “Like a rock.”

“But Goggles, she’s just a child,” said Mom. “Please. You are talking about her watching you die!”

“It’s OK, Mamapin. I’ll be perfectly fine.”

Rippa lost steam. “Can’t you see, Buttons?” She tapped her head. “Even if I know in here,” she patted her chest and continued, “this here doesn’t wanna see it happening.”

Buttons, too, deflated. She sighed before flashing a weak smile. “Rippa, you are so nice.”

A portal opened behind the kid’s sofa.

“Time for us to go,” said Goggles, standing up.

Buttons stood up and looked at Rippa and Mom. She reached and took hold of Goggles’ hand.

“Buttons, don’t go,” Rippa pleaded.

“This has to happen sooner or later,” said Goggles, leading the child to the portal.

Before stepping in, the two turned to face their friends once again.

“Rippa, Mamapin,” said Buttons, “I promise you. Nobody will be hurt today.”

Rippa and Mom helplessly watched the portal close.

Breathing heavily, Rippa pulled out her phone and checked the time. Quarter past ten. Buttons and Goggles probably went to the palace to rest a bit before going to the library. She had fifteen minutes.

Rippa opened the X app on her phone.

“What are you doing?” Mom asked.

“If I can’t stop Buttons, I will stop the government.”

Rippa struggled to type up the post as her hands were trembling, but she eventually managed to write a draft. After rereading, she deleted the whole thing. “Our government is trying to kill Buttons and Goggles!” was too batshit crazy. Nobody would believe it. Besides, if the government really did cancel the hit and pretended they had no such plan whatsoever, she was going to get screwed. She checked the time again. Still minutes to go.

“Get people there! Quick!” Mom suggested.

“Oh! That should work!”

Rippa tried again. After many typos, she settled on a new draft. “Surprise! Buttons is attending a ribbon-cutting ceremony at 10:30 AM at the new library in—”

Yes, this would work. Bring as much public attention as possible… ‘Surely, they won’t dare to do it in front of a crowd?’

After posting, Rippa took a deep breath.

Mom turned on the TV and was blitzing through news stations to see if any network was covering the event. It was hard to tell. She didn’t really know what she was even looking for. Perhaps a scene where a camera is pointed at some building that resembles a library? Mom checked the time. The ceremony was to start at eleven. Now was too early for national networks to run a ‘waiting room’ for a mere local event happening in some distant city— “Oh, what am I thinking? It’ll only be the local stations that cover it, won’t it?” Mom muttered.

“Mom, ButtonsTracker!” Rippa shouted. “They post TikTok links.”

“Oh, that’s right! Quick!”

But then, the two realized they had not installed the ButtonsTracker app. They had never needed it.

As Rippa was frantically searching for the app on the Play Store, Mom urged her daughter. “Come on, Filippa. Go live.”

Rippa looked up from her phone. “What? Are you serious?”

“If it really happens, the whole world needs to see it!”

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