Chapter 10.3: The Birthday Feast

“Little brat, you’ve got to be taught right from the start.”

“Grandma, you’re absolutely right,” said Li Zhuiyuan, climbing back to his feet and returning to the table.

“If you think you can’t teach them well, better to drown them early on. Saves them growing up into heartless disasters. Don’t you agree?”

Li Zhuiyuan picked up a plate of braised fish from the table and swapped it with the dish of stir-fried peanuts in front of the cat-faced old lady.

Then he sat down, nodded, and said, “You’re right. Absolutely.”

“Mmm…” The cat-faced old lady’s grin returned as she reached out and gently touched the red mark on Li Zhuiyuan’s neck. “Such a good little brat. Did Grandma hurt you just now?”

“You were just teaching me, Grandma. I understand.”

“Good.” The cat-faced old lady turned to the Fat Master. “Go call everyone, bring all our folks over. Time to eat.”

“Alright, we’re on it.”

The Fat Master and the elderly women who had been washing dishes stood up and left to summon the others.

When the Fat Master reached the stairwell, the staircase that had previously vanished reappeared. He jogged up it, his plump body jiggling with each step.

On the second-floor terrace, he arrived at the bedroom door of Li Sanjiang. He pushed it open and saw Li Sanjiang lying on the bed, fast asleep.

“Come on, time for the banquet!”

The Fat Master approached the bed and grabbed Li Sanjiang’s wrist. What he intended next was to pull the man’s soul out and take him down to join the feast.

But suddenly—

The Fat Master felt the world around him twist. Just a second ago he had been standing in the bedroom. Now, he found himself in the middle of a grand plaza, surrounded by towering temple halls.

Ahead of him—

An old man in a pair of torn white boxer shorts was leading a line of hopping zombies in a bizarre parade.

Each time the old man hopped, the zombies behind him bounced in unison.

When the old man misstepped and stumbled on landing, the zombies all staggered together.

The Fat Master was so terrified by the scene that his true form slipped out—his face turning pale as paper.

Just then, the last zombie in line, slower than the rest, tripped and fell. Its face turned toward the back—toward the Fat Master.

As if discovering some strange new thing, the zombie stared at him and hopped right over.

The Fat Master broke into a run, the zombie gave chase.

Buzz!

The Fat Master jolted back to reality, reappearing by the bed. He reached up to touch his face and found it caked with a thick layer of makeup that had smeared—fright had ruined his disguise.

Thud!

The floor suddenly shuddered, as if some massive thing had landed.

…

“Here, little brat, since they’ve gone off to call the others, we’ll just start eating first.”

The cat-faced old lady grabbed a handful of dried fruits and placed them before Li Zhuiyuan.

Li Zhuiyuan looked uneasy. He had tried these before—couldn’t even get them in his mouth without gagging.

“Eat…”

Her tone dropped a register.

Li Zhuiyuan had no choice but to pick one up, swallow hard, and place it in his mouth. Instantly, a wave of nausea surged. But seeing the expression on the old lady’s face, he could only clamp a hand over his mouth to stop himself from vomiting.

“Good boy, that’s it. No matter what, never waste food. Grandma here, I’ve starved through pre-liberation, starved raising three kids alone after liberation, and then starved again after my kids grew up and died off.

So believe me, I know just how precious food is.”

Li Zhuiyuan could only nod while forcing down the retching, but the stuff was impossible to swallow.

Just then, the Fat Master came tumbling down the stairs in a panic, shouting:

“Granny Liu, something’s wrong! Granny Liu, something terrible’s happened!”

“What is it?”

The cat-faced old lady stood up. This was her turf—she was the master here.

Boom!

A pair of tall boots landed, stomping straight onto the Fat Master, who exploded into a mess of shredded paper and broken wood.

“Aaah…”

A chilling groan echoed through the feast hall, the air plummeting in temperature.

Li Zhuiyuan looked up in stunned disbelief at the being that had suddenly appeared before him.

It was—

A hopping corpse in a full Qing dynasty official robe, topped with a hat crowned with plume and insignia!

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