Chapter 154.2

Avoiding Zhou Yunyun, Tan Wenbin returned to the classroom.

Zheng Haiyang had gotten back first and had already told everyone about Tan Wenbin’s feat. When the boys in class saw him come in, they all burst into cheers.

Tan Wenbin raised his left hand and pressed his right hand to his chest, signaling for everyone to keep it low-key.

Then he vaulted over the desks and sat down in the first row by the window.

When he turned his head, he noticed a classmate sitting at the desk beside him, so he asked curiously, “Why are you sitting here?”

The student looked baffled and answered, “This is my seat.”

“Your seat?”

Just then, a short girl who had just come back from the bathroom during break walked over and said timidly, “Why are you sitting in my seat?”

“Your seat?”

Tan Wenbin looked toward the left side of the podium and saw the familiar desk, the familiar arrangement of books, and the familiar tin soldier army in the drawer.

He really had sat in the wrong place.

Tan Wenbin got up and left, then returned to his own throne.

After Zhou Yunyun finished delivering the homework and walked past him, she sneered, “The homeroom teacher already called your dad.”

“Oh.”

Tan Wenbin nodded, propped his chin on one hand, and started fiddling with his eraser.

For the rest of the class, Tan Wenbin barely listened. He just kept staring off into space.

The teacher at the podium knew he was mentally elsewhere, but in every class there were always a small handful of students like that. As long as they did not disrupt order, the teacher could not be bothered with whatever they were doing.

When the bell rang, Tan Yunlong appeared at the classroom door.

Tan Wenbin looked at him, walked over, pulled out a pack of cigarettes from his pocket, took one out, and handed it over.

“Dad, open your mouth.”

The corner of Tan Yunlong’s mouth twitched, and then he laughed in exasperation.

The others behind them all let out a chorus of amazed exclamations.

“Come home with me.”

“Oh.”

His dad always rode the motorcycle fast.

Today he rode even faster than usual, carrying a kind of urgent longing to get home.

When they opened the door, Zheng Fang came out of the kitchen wearing an apron. Seeing father and son return together, she asked, “What happened to our son?”

Tan Yunlong said nothing. He only silently unfastened his belt.

Zheng Fang took a step back.

As for their son’s studies, the couple had already long since stopped hoping for much. Unless the top scorer on the college entrance exam personally tutored him all day, but how could that possibly happen?

So what they cared about most now was their son’s character. It was one thing if he did poorly in school, but he could not grow crooked as a person, and he could not fail to follow rules.

Tan Wenbin was taken into the room by Tan Yunlong.

Zheng Fang went back to the kitchen and pushed aside the green peppers she had originally planned to cut. She had meant to make shredded pork with green peppers, but on second thought there was no need to cook two identical dishes for one meal.

The food was done, and while the soup was still simmering, someone knocked on the door.

When Zheng Fang opened it, she found Zheng Haiyang standing there.

“Haiyang.”

“Auntie.”

“Wait a bit. Binbin is busy right now.”

“Auntie, I came to tell Uncle about what happened today. Brother Bin did it to help me.”

“I do not think today is about that.” Judging from the look on her husband’s face when he came home, her precious son had clearly added some brand-new trick to his usual list of offenses.

Still, out of motherly instinct, Zheng Fang called out, “Binbin, Haiyang came to play with you!”

A loud series of cries answered her.

Mixed into it, though, was still a warm greeting for his good friend:

“Haiyang! There are apples in the living room. Help yourself first. I’ll play with you after I’m done here!”

The father-son bonding session finally ended.

Zheng Fang invited Haiyang to stay for dinner.

Tan Wenbin habitually squatted in a horse stance while holding his bowl and chopsticks.

His backside absolutely could not touch a chair right now.

Beep! Beep! Beep!

The pager at Tan Yunlong’s waist went off. He glanced down and said, “Something came up at the station.”

He ladled a little soup into his bowl, quickly shoveled down his meal, then got up and left home.

Tan Wenbin said, “Mom, look at Dad, never home. What exactly do you see in him?”

Zheng Fang replied, “What are you getting at?”

Tan Wenbin said, “I support your pursuit of happiness.”

Zheng Fang said, “You want another beating, is that it? Your dad is busy with work.”

Tan Wenbin said, “No matter how busy he is, he still should not neglect his wife. I definitely will not be like that in the future.”

Zheng Fang shot her son an annoyed glare. “I hope you remember those words when you have someone of your own someday.”

After dinner, Zheng Haiyang stayed for a while to keep Tan Wenbin company, then went back to school for class.

Tan Wenbin lay face-down on the bed. At first he flipped through a novel, but after a while he tossed it aside. Then he picked up a comic, only to lose interest after a few pages. In the end he even dragged out the yellow magazine hidden under the bed. Things that used to feel thrilling now suddenly seemed dull and empty.

He remained restless like that the entire afternoon. By evening, hurried knocking came at the door.

Zheng Fang was off duty that afternoon and had stayed home, so she went to open it.

As soon as the door opened, a tearful voice came through:

“Sister-in-law, Captain Tan has had an accident!”

…

Tan Yunlong had died in the line of duty.

Tan Wenbin stood blankly by the bed, staring at his father’s body lying there after the rescue had failed.

Once the fugitive realized he was surrounded, he seized a hostage in a last desperate attempt. Tan Yunlong was shot while trying to save that hostage.

Tan Wenbin did not dare lift the white sheet covering his father. He was afraid of what he might see.

The lingering pain in his backside made him wish the father lying on the bed would sit up again. He still wanted to keep getting beaten.

After holding herself together for a while, his mother finally collapsed beside the bed, crying uncontrollably.

Tan Wenbin took a deep breath. He wanted to cry too, but found that no tears would come.

All he could do was step forward to comfort his mother, then, when leaders from the station and the town came to offer condolences, go up and ask them about the martyr’s honors and the funeral arrangements.

If the authorities were involved, then it would not be appropriate to make it overly bound to local funeral customs. It needed to be solemn, dignified, and simple.

His paternal grandparents and maternal grandparents all came as well. His grandfather and maternal grandfather held themselves together a little better, standing to one side in silence with tears brimming in their eyes. His grandmother and maternal grandmother, however, clung to his mother and wept together.

Time passed in a haze.

Tan Wenbin attended his father’s funeral. Many of his father’s former leaders and colleagues from the police station and the city came to pay their respects.

Tan Wenbin stayed beside his mother and returned their courtesies one by one.

At one point, his mother became too weak to keep going, so Tan Wenbin told her to focus on seeing her husband off on his final journey. He would handle everything else.

And he handled it all in perfect order.

A city bureau leader warmly took his hand, offering comfort and expressing hopes for his future.

His grandfather and maternal grandfather stood beside him, silent, but their presence was steady and weighty.

Passing a post from father to son was often criticized by public opinion, but there was one exception to that.

Quite a few classmates came to the funeral too. Zheng Haiyang came. Zhou Yunyun came as well.

At the end of the funeral, Tan Wenbin accompanied Tan Yunlong to the crematorium.

He felt strangely puzzled. His dad had been such a big man, so how had he fit into such a small box?

Holding the urn, he got into the car and went home.

His father’s memorial portrait was placed in the house.

Tan Wenbin cooked some noodles, and he and Zheng Fang ate together.

Zheng Fang said, “Son, did you add salt? It’s so bland.”

Tan Wenbin said, “I think it tastes fine. Ask Dad if you don’t believe me…”

Zheng Fang and Tan Wenbin both instinctively turned to look at the empty seat at the table. In a family of three, everyone’s place at meals was usually fixed.

And beyond that empty seat was the black-and-white memorial portrait.

Zheng Fang lowered her head and kept eating as she cried, her tears falling into the bowl.

After dinner, Zheng Fang went back to her room to rest. Before long, muffled sobbing came from inside. She had hidden herself under the blanket.

Tan Wenbin pulled out his cigarette pack. Every time he lit one for himself, he lit one stick of incense in the burner before the memorial portrait.

He even cockily held the cigarette high in his mouth on purpose, provoking his own father in the portrait.

But after a while, even that felt pointless.

After all, his dad could no longer step out of the portrait and knock the cigarette from his mouth.

The quiet sobbing in the room gradually faded. He knew his exhausted mother had finally fallen asleep in her grief.

Tan Wenbin stayed in the living room and shifted into another sitting position. He wanted to use the silence of the deep night to talk with his dad a little longer.

But after thinking it over and over, he realized there was nothing much to say.

Because he felt he had been a pretty lousy son. He had nothing he could proudly put on display to make his old man proud.

At last, the rain that had been hanging in the air for so long finally began to fall.

As he wiped away tears, Tan Wenbin said, “Old Tan, all that extra credit you earned me for the college entrance exam went to waste. Your son’s a loser. Even with the bonus points, I still won’t get into college. Sigh.”

He let his forehead drop against the table and drifted in and out of sleep.

In his daze, he thought he heard a heavy thud from the room.

He immediately struggled to his feet, went to the door of his parents’ bedroom, knocked, and called out:

“Mom? Mom, are you okay?”

There was no answer from inside.

He kept knocking, kept calling, and still got no reply.

Tan Wenbin tried the door and found it locked from the inside.

“Mom! Mom! Mom!”

Realizing something was wrong, Tan Wenbin began throwing himself against the door.

Bang!

The door flew open.

Tan Wenbin switched on the light and saw his mother collapsed on the floor, with signs she had ingested poison and an empty pesticide bottle lying nearby.

“Mom!”

Tan Wenbin bent down and picked her up. He had to get her to the hospital immediately. As long as they got there in time, there was still a chance. There had to be.

As he moved, his foot kicked over the empty bottle. It struck the bed leg and rolled back.

Tan Wenbin’s eyes fell on the label, and they widened at once.

He knew what that pesticide meant. Even with emergency treatment, the outcome would still be hopeless in the end.

It could give you time to regret it, but not a chance to keep living.

Tan Wenbin’s body trembled and his face twisted, but he still forced himself to hold his mother, wake the neighbor next door who owned a motorcycle, and beg him to drive them to the hospital.

Late that night, Tan Wenbin sat outside the operating room.

The doctor had just come out and, hesitating, tried to explain the situation to him.

Tan Wenbin told the doctor he already knew the outcome in his heart.

The doctor nodded, let out a helpless sigh, and left.

Tan Wenbin knew that when morning came, his mother would wake up. She would be able to eat and smile. She would still hold him and stroke his face and hair.

Maybe she would say she regretted it, that she would never try anything like that again, that she would stay by his side, see him fully grown, see him start work, see him get married, and later help him raise his children.

All those tender words and expressions he could already imagine would soon become the sharpest blades stabbing into him.

Tan Wenbin held his head and lowered it, mouth hanging open wide, yet not a single sound came out. Tears and snot kept dripping down.

A figure approached from the corridor.

It was Zheng Haiyang.

He sat down beside Tan Wenbin and gently patted his back.

“The doctor said the rescue went very well. Auntie will be fine.”

Tan Wenbin turned his head to look at Zheng Haiyang.

Zheng Haiyang met his eyes and said, “Brother Bin, don’t worry. No matter what happens, I’ll stay by your side.”

Tan Wenbin shook his head. “I just figured something out.”

A smile appeared on Zheng Haiyang’s face. “It’s good that you worked it out. It’s good. No matter what it is, things will pass. Really.”

“My mom is strong. She wouldn’t do this on her own. After my dad died, she would take on the responsibility of staying with me. She’s been a police officer’s wife for years. She has the mental strength for that.”

Zheng Haiyang said, “Even strong people can have moments when they break, Brother Bin. This isn’t Auntie’s fault.”

Tan Wenbin said, “Then who put that bottle of pesticide in her room?”

Zheng Haiyang looked startled. “Brother Bin, you think someone deliberately—”

Tan Wenbin leaned his face close to Zheng Haiyang’s, so close their faces were almost touching. He studied Zheng Haiyang’s eyes carefully and asked:

“Other than calling the neighbor to take us here, I haven’t told anyone about what happened to my mom. Not even my grandparents. So why did you show up here so quickly?”

Zheng Haiyang froze for a moment, then shot back, “Brother Bin, are you suspecting me?”

“If not you, then who? Shouldn’t I?”

Zheng Haiyang said angrily, “Brother Bin, how can you think that of me?”

The next instant, the grievance and anger on Zheng Haiyang’s face shifted with eerie smoothness into mocking ridicule.

“Because I’m the one who put the pesticide there. I even wrote a suicide note for Auntie in Uncle’s voice. Hahaha!”

Tan Wenbin grabbed Zheng Haiyang’s arm and shook it desperately. “Why did you do this? Why?”

Under the violent shaking, Zheng Haiyang’s head rocked back and forth. At some point, a tiny turtle had climbed onto the top of his head.

The turtle’s mouth opened at the same time as Zheng Haiyang’s.

And it laughed.

“Because I can’t accept it. Why do you get to have your dad and mom by your side, while I don’t?”

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