Chapter 157

Li Zhuiyuan did not know who he was. At least, the Li Zhuiyuan of this moment did not know.

But from the blurry figure before him, the boy felt an overwhelming sense of familiarity, as though they had once spent every day together.

Yet no matter how he searched the corners of his memory, he could not find a single trace related to him.

The boy took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He was now certain of one thing:

He had probably lost his memory.

The “brain fog” covering his memories gave the dream more room to manipulate him. It was a kind of shackle. Only after trapping you could it properly torture you.

Normally, with a dream ghost of this level combined with the conditions it currently possessed, the “brain fog” in the dreams it created was almost impossible to break.

Li Zhuiyuan’s advantage was that he would not sink into despair or numbness under punishment. Instead, he would actively try to overcome it and adapt.

An opponent like that required the dream ghost to spend much more effort dealing with him.

But in truth, if he could see this blurry person every time he entered this dream, the impact alone would be enough to pry open the brain fog’s shackles.

Even if it only opened the slightest crack, with the boy’s intelligence, he would quickly analyze and calculate, infer more, and then break free of the entire set of restraints.

After realizing he had lost his memory, Li Zhuiyuan simply stood there and began to think.

He started reexamining the world around him, the people and things in it.

His mother, the old man on the pirate ship, the girl at the bumper car arena, the four scenes in the haunted house that stirred something in his heart—what exactly did they symbolize?

Once self-awareness began to appear, the dream could no longer maintain perfect immersion. And when that self-awareness became strong enough, that was the beginning of the dream’s collapse.

Many times before, whenever it reached this stage, the dream ghost would pull Li Zhuiyuan out of the dream and then “drop” him back in again.

This was its successful, habitual method. No matter how troublesome a person was, toss them in to suffer a few more times and their sharp edges would slowly be worn down.

That was also why, when Li Zhuiyuan had entered the amusement park earlier, he had been able to clearly sense the “brain fog” gradually forming and his memories slowly being covered over.

The set of shackles on him had been put on and pried open again and again. After enough repetitions... naturally, the shackles had loosened.

The person sitting in the chair lowered his head and looked at the boy.

“You’ve started again.”

Li Zhuiyuan forced his eyes open. While continuing his intense thinking, he asked, “Can you help me stop it?”

“Tsk.”

The blurry figure clicked his tongue. Every time he took the initiative to speak to the boy, the boy would extract meaning from his tone and words and ask a different question.

The first time, he had asked: Who are you?

The second time: Where is this place?

The third time: Am I dreaming?

...

And this time, he directly asked him to intervene.

The figure knew what stage the boy before him was in. The memories from each of his dreams did not carry over. Every time he saw him, it was as if for the first time. And yet he was somehow still able to stack up deductions purely from what was said.

This boy had effectively assumed what his past selves in all those previous dreams must have done.

His way of thinking was rational to an astonishing degree.

Still, this boy would soon disappear.

Just like many times before, the moment the boy was about to reach understanding, he would vanish, and then after a while he would walk back up to him again.

But what the boy did next made the figure unconsciously sit up a little straighter.

Smack!

The boy slapped his forehead hard, then shook his head.

Other people did that to force themselves awake. The boy did it to interrupt his own clarity.

He broke off his own train of thought, stopped analyzing his surroundings, and forcibly maintained his sense of immersion here.

Better to stay muddled.

“Heh heh heh...”

The figure laughed. The child had become interesting.

Li Zhuiyuan began taking deep breaths. He forced his mind to stop spreading outward, to turn as slowly as possible, not to think too much.

The boy turned once more to the blurry figure and asked,

“What should we do next?”

That intense sense of familiarity made Li Zhuiyuan subconsciously treat him as one of his own.

The figure asked in return, “Why us?”

Li Zhuiyuan said, “I don’t know.”

The figure said, “I don’t know you.”

Li Zhuiyuan said, “I don’t remember you either.”

The figure said, “Then what relationship do we have?”

Li Zhuiyuan said, “We should have some kind of relationship.”

The figure said, “Child, don’t go claiming relatives so casually.”

Li Zhuiyuan said, “Aren’t you going to do something?”

The figure said, “What do you think I need to do?”

“For example, leave this place.”

“Oh?”

“You seem not to like appearing here.”

“Not exactly.”

Li Zhuiyuan asked again, “Then what you dislike is... that you’re actually able to appear here?”

“Tsk.”

That was the second time the figure clicked his tongue.

A child whose memory had been covered over could still be this clever.

Most people in this world, looking back at themselves as children, would feel they had been adorably stupid.

The figure said, “How old are you?”

Li Zhuiyuan raised a hand. “I can’t think about that right now.”

If he thought about it, he would disappear, then meet this figure again, and everything would start over.

The figure raised a hand and touched his own face. The question really had not been all that impressive. No matter how old the child really was—whether in reality he was even an old man—it still would not change the fact that he had already been exceptionally intelligent as a child.

Li Zhuiyuan spoke again. “Why don’t you want to be able to appear here?”

The figure said, “Why do you think I’d tell you?”

Li Zhuiyuan said, “If you didn’t want to talk, you wouldn’t have spoken first just now.”

The figure said, “Mm... I originally thought I was already dead. But the fact that I can appear here proves I’m not dead yet.”

“You’re not dead?”

“What, do you think I should be happy about that?”

“No...” Li Zhuiyuan placed a hand over his chest. “I feel sad about it.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know. But it seems like... if you were dead, that should be something very worth celebrating.”

“Indeed, for me.”

Li Zhuiyuan said, “No. For me.”

The figure fell silent.

Li Zhuiyuan continued, “Why aren’t you dead?”

“Hm?”

“What is wrong with you? Why aren’t you dead? Why won’t you just go die properly? You deserve to die.”

The figure lowered his head and studied the boy closely.

The boy’s disappointment and regret did not seem fake.

But it was hard to imagine that a little thing whose memory was still incomplete could be genuinely upset that he was still alive.

The figure said, “Sorry to disappoint you.”

Li Zhuiyuan said, “The one who should apologize is me. For no reason at all, I wished for your death and cursed you.”

The figure shook his head. “No. That’s a blessing.”

Then the two of them—one big and one small, one clear and one blurry—fell into silence together.

This time, the figure was the one who broke the silence first. He asked,

“What’s your surname?”

“Li. My name is Li Zhuiyuan. But I’m not sure whether that’s really my name here.”

“Oh, so your surname is Li.”

“Are you worried about something?”

“No.” The figure waved a hand. “Because I’m very sure I never left any descendants behind.”

“Does that seem random?”

“If you live long enough—or rather, exist long enough—you’ll have all sorts of random thoughts like that.”

“Living too long isn’t very interesting. It washes all the beauty out of old memories until they turn bland.”

“I agree.” The figure smiled. “Heh. Looks like your true age should be pretty advanced. If not eighty, then at least seventy.”

“Probably.” Li Zhuiyuan knocked on his forehead again, interrupting his instinctive thoughts. “I also feel that when I talk to you, there’s a strange sensation. As you said, I must be quite old to resonate with you like this.”

“In truth, no matter how old you are, in my eyes you’re still just a little thing.”

“Based on what?”

“In this world, it’s not that there’s nobody who has existed longer than I have. But even those my own age, or many generations below me, should not be stranded here in the way you are now.”

“Oh, that’s an interesting way of putting it. So how long have you lived?”

“No way to calculate it. Can you give me an exact calendar era?”

“Sorry, I can’t.” Li Zhuiyuan spread his hands and looked at his tender white palms. “As you can see, someone as old as me has turned into a child.”

“Mm. But to put it this way, for most of my life, all I thought about was how to die.”

Li Zhuiyuan kept looking at his hands. “But I seem to still want to keep living.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m sure. I only seem to want you dead. As for me, I don’t have any thoughts of ending my own life. I should still want to live.”

“Little one, you laid all that groundwork just to say that?”

Li Zhuiyuan said, “Help me.”

“What makes you think that after refusing to help you at first, I would change my mind and help you just because we chatted for a little while?”

“I don’t know.” Li Zhuiyuan shook his head. “But I feel like I would do the same.”

“Hm?”

“If I found it interesting.”

“Heh heh heh heh... hahaha!”

At first, the figure only laughed normally. Then he laughed louder and louder.

While talking with this boy, he felt an oddly fitting sense of comfort. Other people merely flattered him. This boy was more like someone repeatedly striking right at his heart.

The figure said, “Fine. I’ll help you.”

Li Zhuiyuan said, “Thank you.”

The figure stood, left the chair, and pointed outside.

“This place should have collapsed long ago. But now, somehow, it’s stabilized again.”

“Why?”

“Because too many came in. Originally, just one entering would have been enough to make this place collapse. But the problem is, this time three entered, me included.

All three sides are somewhat wary of one another, and instead it’s formed a kind of tripartite balance.

Or to put it another way, none of them can be bothered with this mess. They all think it would hurt their pride to handle it themselves, so each is hoping one of the others will deal with it.”

Li Zhuiyuan said, “Sorry. I made you lose face.”

“It’s nothing. There was indeed a time when I treasured my dignity quite a lot, worried my face might fall to the ground one day and get stepped on.

Now, I don’t really care anymore.

Still, what exactly did you provoke? It’s not just that little ghost outside, is it?”

Li Zhuiyuan said, “Are you planning to help me all the way through?”

The figure said, “It’s no trouble. If I pull you out only for you to fall right back in, wouldn’t that make all my effort pointless?”

Li Zhuiyuan said, “I don’t think I have any enemies.”

The figure said, “Then someone else is stirring up trouble?”

Li Zhuiyuan said, “Probably.”

The figure said, “Then what do you want to do?”

Li Zhuiyuan said, “If possible, I’d still prefer not to have enemies.”

The figure said, “Looks like you’re a vicious little old thing too. Your children and grandchildren probably wouldn’t even dare breathe in front of you.”

Li Zhuiyuan said, “I really would like to meet them.”

“There’s nothing interesting about that. If you end up giving birth to idiots, just looking at them is annoying. It dirties the eyes.”

Li Zhuiyuan followed that line of thought for a moment, and unexpectedly felt some resonance in it.

He could not tolerate having a foolish child.

But then on second thought, if his child were too clever, he found that deeply off-putting as well.

Li Zhuiyuan said, “I probably don’t have children.”

“Are you sure?”

Li Zhuiyuan said, “Because I don’t like children.”

“Neither do I.”

Li Zhuiyuan tilted his head back, looked at the figure who had walked over in front of him, and asked,

“So that’s why, even though you saw me come here many times before, you never took the initiative to interfere?”

The figure did not answer.

“At first, did you dislike me?”

The figure still did not answer.

“Or is it that what you disliked was your past self?”

This time, the figure finally spoke.

“Stop talking. I’m already starting to feel sick.”

“Sorry for disgusting you.”

“It’s fine. That was before. Chatting with you now feels pretty good.”

“After we leave here, can we keep talking?”

“Probably not. You won’t be able to find the place where I am.”

“That’s a shame.”

“I’ll get you out first.”

“Alright.”

The figure extended his hand. Li Zhuiyuan placed his own hand in it.

One big, one small, the two walked hand in hand out of the corridor.

Li Lan was still there, answering questions.

She was on the third one. Holding a writing brush, she kept making strokes in the air.

The figure asked, “Who is she?”

Li Zhuiyuan said, “My mother.”

The figure said, “In your understanding, is your mother capable of anything?”

Li Zhuiyuan shook his head. “She’s just very smart.”

The figure said, “Since we’re leaving, do you need to go say goodbye?”

Li Zhuiyuan said, “No. It would be disgusting. She would be too.”

The figure said, “Very nice. Mother and son, hearts linked.”

Still holding Li Zhuiyuan’s hand, the figure led him through the deserted amusement park until they reached the ticket gate.

“That thing tried again and again to alter this place. But because I’m here, it can’t change me.”

“Thank you.”

“No need. It ignored those other two places and only tried to change me. If it had really succeeded, wouldn’t that have made me lose a great deal of face?”

“I’m curious. Those other two places... who are they? Do you know them?”

“Funny enough, I actually know both of them.”

Then the figure suddenly laughed again. “Hahahahaha!”

Li Zhuiyuan said, “The amusing part is that one of them isn’t human, and in the context of traditional culture, it’s something with a very strong presence?”

The figure said, “If only you’d been born a thousand years earlier. Then when I went around trying to kill myself, I’d have taken you with me. Even if I failed, at least I’d have had someone to talk to, so it wouldn’t have been so dull.”

“I probably can’t live that long.”

“There are plenty of ways to live a very long time, but the price is becoming neither human nor turtle.”

“Is it a turtle?”

“That’s right. Let me give you a piece of advice. Once you’re old, arrange your affairs early. A life needs death to be complete.”

“I’ve learned something.”

The figure let go of Li Zhuiyuan’s hand. He walked toward the ticket gate, and then he went out.

On the bridge in front of the ticket booth, the dream ghost’s eyes widened, and the flame of the candle in its hand began flickering violently.

In truth, it had been waiting all along for the blow that would come down on its head. It had even simulated countless times in its mind how to shift the disaster onto someone else.

But the problem was, it could not afford to provoke any of the three parties, and yet those three had all tacitly stopped where they were.

Waiting to be slaughtered felt worse than actually being slaughtered.

Now, one of them had come out.

The dream ghost was terrified, but also, in a way, relieved.

It had not intended to kneel, because it knew that with the kind of trouble it had caused, kneeling, kowtowing, or begging for mercy would all be meaningless.

But it still knelt.

The moment that person appeared, right there in its own dream, its home ground, it knelt.

Some existences are like that. Even if their gaze is blurry, if they truly turn their attention toward you, your so-called backbone cannot possibly hold up your knees.

“How did you pull me into this—”

There was one thing the figure still did not understand.

Earlier, he had been immersed in the immense dejection of realizing he was somehow not yet dead. But now he had enough attention to spare to investigate how this tiny thing had managed to drag him into a dream.

And not just him. It had also pulled in the other two.

That was the same as some petty rural rich man setting up a crude banquet and somehow inviting three imperial relatives.

But before the figure could finish the question, he realized that he was dissipating.

The first thing to go was his feet. In only a moment, the dissipation had already reached his waist.

He waved a hand again, and that arm too began to vanish.

Far from panicking, the figure was overjoyed.

“Hahahahahahaha!”

The laughter terrified even the kneeling dream ghost on the bridge.

It was the maker of dreams, and best at creating absurd and bizarre dreamscapes, but that did not mean it enjoyed being kneaded and tormented like this itself.

But when the dream ghost finally worked up the courage to look forward again, it discovered in shock that the terrifying blurry figure had disappeared.

Its first thought was to try to modify Li Zhuiyuan’s dream.

It could not.

The dream was still beyond its control.

Then what about pulling that boy out of the dream again?

But this time, the boy had not awakened within the dream, so it seemed to have no reason to do that.

And besides, that great figure had come out and then disappeared without doing anything to it.

Nor had the things on either side of the bridge continued to press inward.

Although it still felt as though it was sitting atop a volcano, as long as the magma had not fully erupted, then it had better... do nothing at all.

This was its “home,” but after those three entered, this host could only kneel nearby.

The figure disappeared in front of Li Zhuiyuan.

Then the figure appeared in front of Li Zhuiyuan again.

He had suddenly become terribly ragged, but was recovering quickly. The missing arms and legs were gradually growing back.

Li Zhuiyuan asked, “Is it very dangerous outside?”

Earlier, the figure had spoken as if handling this matter would be effortless. But seeing him return missing arms and legs, it seemed that was not the case.

The figure said, “Let me tell you some good news. I’m dead now!”

A strange joy rose from the bottom of Li Zhuiyuan’s heart.

“Congratulations!”

The figure said, “Same to you, same to you.”

Li Zhuiyuan stood there for a while, then sat down.

The figure was so happy that he sang and danced, dancing for quite some time.

Though he was still blurry, his movements were graceful, with the air of a cultured gentleman.

Finally, he stopped.

“I’m dead.”

“Mm.”

“What you see now isn’t the real me, because the real me is already dead. Dead successfully.”

“I know. But now we should talk about the important matter.”

“The important matter is troublesome.”

“Hm?”

“Because the real me is already dead, what remains now may just be some scattered scraps I left behind in this world.”

“Scattered scraps?”

“I left quite a lot of that kind of thing behind. You know how it is—when suicide fails, you always lose bits and pieces. No wonder I kept feeling that not just you, but even I seemed to have forgotten some things. So that’s what happened.”

“That’s a little complicated.”

“To put it simply—”

Li Zhuiyuan cut in, “It means that right now, you can’t do the thing you said you could do to help me earlier?”

“You summarized it very accurately. The moment I walk out of here, I disappear.”

“Then...”

“Then there’s nothing to be done. But don’t worry. You can wait. Wait until one side or the other loses patience first and casually waves a hand to break this place open.”

“That’s awfully passive.”

“It is.”

“There’s really no other way?”

“What can I do? Right now I’m just a shadow.”

“Is there anything I can help with?”

“You?”

“Yes.”

“Have you studied arrays?”

“Arrays? You mean those kinds of diagrams and setups you often see in scriptures and ancient tombs?”

“Think again.”

“I can’t think any further. If I do, I might have to start all over. But I can be sure that before I reached this age, I hadn’t actually come into contact with such things.”

“What about the art of feng shui?”

“Never studied it.”

“Spells and techniques?”

“Never studied them.”

“What about other things from the mystical traditions? Do you know any of that?”

“I’ve never come into contact with any of it.”

“Then what the hell is there to do?” The figure sat down too. “No options. We just wait for movement from those two sides.”

“Then stuck in the middle like this, doesn’t that make you the stabilizing pillar?”

“Mm, that’s right.”

Li Zhuiyuan shifted into a different kneeling posture, facing the figure in front of him, and asked,

“You said I don’t know any of those things. Then... can you teach me?”

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