359 Squalor

". . . you look exhausted." Bishop Kayes took a long drag of a hot pink beverage through the straw, his voice monotone in spite of the apparent concern. "Did something happen?"

"There was . . ." Donovan trailed off, the urge to elaborate on the events that transpired over the last few hours stymied by the realization they might get his tour guide in trouble. "Shopping. We were shopping."

"Ah, yes, of course." Another extended sip, enough to leave little but ice in the glass. "I have to imagine the predilection towards perusing various storefronts is a universal standard amongst the women-folk, or perhaps just those with the power and wealth to afford it. Mana was also quite partial to these escapades, you know? That said, I only ever needed to hold the baggage of a single woman . . . that you've managed to hold the acquisitions of three is a feat most impressive. Where are they now?"

"Manicures, or something like that." Donovan sighed, placing one of the handfuls of bags on a nearby table. They had decided upon this restaurant upon arrival at the commercial complex, the establishment having a menu suitable to Titanyana's taste (fish) and a reputation of a semi-regular spot for bishops to dine - holding to the standards Monda required as an Archbishop. This was perfect for Kayes, who needed to do some shopping himself after being so far from home for so long, so they decided to split up and regroup for lunch. "And this was just two women, not three."

"Yes, well, I suppose Titanyana would not be comfortable with the proposition of immense wealth just yet." 

". . . in that case, only one."

"Did Monda not buy anything?" Donovan shook his head. "Why? I gave her my credit print, didn't I?"

"The stamp thing?"

"Yeah."

"She said she couldn't use government funds for personal purchases."

"Government fu- ugh." He slapped down his newspaper and chugged the rest of his beverage. "I should have explained better. Make sure she understands that stamp is mine, not the treasury's. So long as she asks the shopkeepers to notarize your purchases as separate from her own, I can ask for reimbursement later. You could buy out this whole complex and I'd still have no issues handling the bill."

"Really?"

"Mhm. Between my thirty-odd years of pay, the various extant bounties collected over that time, and the generous sum left in my wife's passing, I'd say there are only a handful of people in this here theocracy worth more than me." Not finished, he allowed a few of the ice cubes into his maw so he could munch on them. "Beshidsh, she'sh lige a dawder do me."

"Um, pardon?"

"Mm, she's like a daughter to me, not that she's actually my daughter or anything. Reminds me a lot of Mana in some ways, so I can't help but feel like our daughter would have turned out similar. I mean, she's technically my boss, but because the chain of experience was broken I've kinda become the only person she can learn from. We talk a lot, even if most of it is through a second party."

"Right, of course." Donovan couldn't help but feel like Kayes was trying to get Donovan to ask about something, he just couldn't figure out what. "By the way, where is Cayzi? I haven't seen him all day, but I thought he'd be coming with us."

"Oh, I had him take a few assessments, they should mostly be small verbal tests under proper instructors and a couple of checks for Split proficiency. I'll be getting a breakdown of what he needs to work on so I can better teach him moving forward - a lot of my shopping today is supplies for him, actually." He gestured to his own bag, currently sitting in the chair next to him. If the surface contents were anything to go by, the vast majority were items like writing utensils, paper, and books. "Some stuff for me, of course, but mostly him. That said, I am afraid the appointment to get my gear checked out is coming up soon, so I won't be able to join you for lunch."

"A shame."

"Happens to the worst of us." He stood up, handing his bag to someone Donovan could only assume to be an errand boy of some variety. "I'll meet you at the car at . . . well, Monda'll know what time. Oh! One more thing. It's nothing concrete, but I heard mumblings from peers that silly little girl will be getting her first diplomatic assignment from the High Council, so try talking her into some comfort purchases for long trips - extra underwear, toiletries, a spare dress and such. Capacity . . . shouldn't be much of an issue if her assignment is what I think it'll end up being, but it is always nice to have exactly the brands you want instead of risking a mix-up on a resupply. Don't make it obvious in case my gut is wrong, but I guarantee she won't have time to do a shopping run once the order comes."

"Sure thing." 

"Thanks. I'll see you in a few hours."

- - - - -

"Dammit." The quiet swear between bites was dutifully ignored by Monda's companions, the shortest of which being far too enamored with the spread before her to mind such a disgraceful attitude. "I suppose it's too late to go back now, isn't it?"

"I'm more than willing to spend more time looking for dresses and the like. Now that I have some actual storage space, I'd like to get a collection of party and formal wear for the Sanctum, so we can do some shopping for you as well." Diana swirled the wine in her glass, attempting to get back into the rhythm. "Still feeling nervous about the call to sneak some stuff in?"

"A little."

"Then I guess we'll need to buy enough to bury the lead . . . what do you think about putting his claim about buying this whole complex to the test?"

"I don't have enough hands for that, Diana." Donovan shot down the proposal immediately. "Instead, I think it would be better to buy her things she might need in the future. Travel supplies, for example."

"Travel supplies?"

"Something you might need if ever you leave. I understand your job will have you doing so for some time, so why not stock up on necessities now? Little luxuries you won't be able to get beyond the border." He placed a vegetable in his mouth, chewing once or twice before swallowing. "I, for one, am in desperate need of socks."

"And deodorant!"

"Are you dissatisfied with Arc's concoctions?"

"Very much so." Placing the glass down gently but with enough force to make the wine splash, Diana wagged her finger at him. "They are far too chemically for my nose."

"Same here." Titanyana offered her two cents considering how much more of an effect the smell had on her. "Though, I think I'd prefer he didn't wear any."

"That's . . . not gonna happen, sorry." Diana might have conceded if Donovan was always willing to shower, but he was far too busy for that. Even with access to a shower or bathroom, he would only ever clean himself immediately after a workout and before he turned in for the night - not much of an issue when they have a massive barracks or the great outdoors to diffuse or keep the scent at distance, but in the confines of the Pegasus he was much harder to escape. "Maybe a neutral antiperspirant would be a better fit."

The only snag in this deodorant plan was Titanyana, who rather liked his odor - though she insisted he shower all the same. In her own words it was like tasting honey, a spoonful tastes fantastic but a jar would leave you gagging. The comparison shifted to bread when referring to the deodorant, relating deodorant to a loaf made with flour on the verge of spoiling. In either case, Donovan would remain 'edible' to Titanyana, she simply preferred his taste be free of additives.

"Arc should be able to make an antiperspirant without issue, Diana."

"I know, I just want to buy something for you. We've spent so much time on our stuff that we've ignored your needs."

"I don't need anything."

"Mmmm, but I need to buy things for you." Diana nodded her head, agreeing with herself. "So many things I want you to have for my benefit, like deodorant, and cologne."

"No cologne." A part of Donovan was glad to see Titanyana offer resistance to Diana's bullheaded machinations towards him, especially considering how submissive she had been up to this point.

"We'll find one you like, Titanyana."

". . . okay." He just wished she could follow through with it. All Diana had to do was offer a concession for something she would have done anyways and all resistance crumbled. Did she really think her input on the matter would go ignored? Actually, now that he took a second to think about it, she probably just wanted an excuse to sniff him without judgement.

"Perfect. Monda, just so you know, perfumes and the like are absolutely essential for any trip of sufficient length. General use aside, it's really the only way to mask odors when you haven't been able to wash for some time. I've been fortunate enough to not encounter that use case just yet, but if you are it be spending any time on galleys-"

"They are to be of critical importance, yes. Kayes wrote about such things frequently, citing many moments in his travels with my predecessor where such amenities ran out." Her train of thought was interrupted with a giggle. "He had to venture into many places in disguise to purchase or requisition acceptable substitutes."

- - - - -

Monda collapsed into the back of the limousine with a sigh, thankful for the day to be over. She'd been thoroughly shopped out, every trinket and knickknack she expressed more than a passing interest in purchased and deliberations between the relative value of items resolved by purchasing both. It had been an expression of wealth she never considered possible, the grossest, most indulgent expenditure imaginable, and yet Bishop Kayes nearly looked upset at how little she spent! Was the man made of money? Were temperance and frugality not virtues?

"Take me home, please."

"Of course, your holiness."

Those virtues, temperance and frugality, perfectly embodied her own accommodations. They were very simple, far less extravagant than what the average Holifanian could claim, in fact the standard for them had been established as just above the line considered 'impoverished'. Her abode had no utilities like electricity, air conditioning, or central heating, though plumbing was installed to facilitate hygiene and solitary living - the Archbishopess could be seen as poor, but never as dirty, and she worked too much to fetch water from a well.

It was supposed to be a reminder to her, someone who waltzed among those at the heights of power, that she was but a woman. Her position was not earned through merit and service as her equals nor by exhibiting the virtues expected of the station but by fortune of genetic lottery, so she was intended to handle all of her chores alone. Of course, she hadn't actually been asked to do them. This arrangement presupposed the existence of a family to share the burden, and rarely an Archbishopess so young. As an orphan inducted into this position it was recognized she would have little chance of washing her clothes, cooking, and cleaning while keeping up with her studies and official duties, so a variety of concessions were made with regards to staff to aid her, namely that they would not be present while she was home with the exception of one housemaid, who was primarily responsible for ensuring she did not flounder about.

This sort of life was more fulfilling than her days as a young brat milling about the orphanage, that much could not be denied, but at the same time left her absolutely drained. Going from a lonely home bordering on squalor to a grandiose and lively city every morning then back again at night wore her down, with neither extreme being what she really wanted. Everybody maintained a healthy degree of distance from her, even her fellow Archbishops, the only exception being Bishop Kayes (and he was basically never around). A part of her was genuinely beginning to believe the intention of the arrangement was not to humble her, but to make long trips abroad look desirable in comparison.

"Your holiness?" The gentle call of her chauffer woke her, having fallen asleep on cushions much comfier than her mattress. It was a habit unbecoming of her status, yet he never admonished her for it. She had yet to determine if this was out of respect for the title, or pity for her person. Regardless, the respite was welcome.

"Mm, yes, I'm up, sorry." Sliding her way towards the door, Monda grabbed her bag of scents before exiting. "I'll see you in the morning."

"As always, your holiness." He could be made out to bow in what little of his headlights' beams scattered from the nearby trees before closing the doors and leaving her behind, in the dark.

She could do naught but listen to the engine fade further and further into the distance as her eyes grew accustomed to the darkness, the moon and stars her only light. Strangely, she found it much harder to see on clear nights than when it was cloudy. Those masses of water suspended in the sky did a fantastic job of reflecting the light of the city back down to her, though she had to admit they were far less pretty.

"Monda?"

"Yes?" The voice called out to her from the second floor of the stone structure, the presence made visible by the dim light of an oil lamp. 

"I see you are home quite late."

"Yes. The Terrans and I ended up leaving Parliament earlier than planned, so we spent the day shopping."

"Such would explain the great deal of baggage I received today."

"I, um, I'm sorry."

"Mm, no matter." Monda was supposed to be responsible for handling private items, not the staff. ". . . did you have fun?"

"Huh?"

"Did you enjoy yourself? I understand it has been a long time since you've been able to do something for yourself."

"Oh, yes. I very much had fun." Monda couldn't help but smile. True, she had been utterly defeated by Diana's consumerist urges, but it was a different type of exhaustion to the one she frequently experienced. There was a certain satisfaction Monda felt right now she just didn't experience every other day.

"That's . . . good." It was almost embarrassing how stiff she was. "Remember to get to bed on time. Dinner is on the stove if you are still hungry."

"Thank you." She'd already eaten, but she wasn't about to say no to a brief snack before bed. Either way, the flame would need to be snuffed and the leftovers disposed of. "Good night."

"Good night."

Monda sighed once the lamp disappeared from view, confident the wielder was out of earshot. How deeply she wished her days could be more like today, filled with fun and time with friends rather than the busy, boring slogs they tended to be.