Chapter 128: ¹²⁸: everything was a lie

Without even realizing it, I got off the bike.

I moved away from it and began walking towards the field almost on autopilot, unable to take my eyes away from the beautiful sight before me. The calming scent of the flowers reached me through the gentle wind, wrapping around me as though it were calling me towards them.

With every step, I felt the tension inside me slowly loosen. As I finally reached the colourful flowers, I slowly extended my hand, letting my fingers brush against the soft petals before feeling them beneath my palm.

For a moment, I forgot everything else. The worries that had been filling my mind until now seemed distant, as though they belonged to someone else.

For now, the only thing I could think about was me and the beautiful, soothing sight before me. "Life is supposed to be so beautiful," I whispered, my fingers gently ruffling through the flowers.

The continuous breeze caressed my body, making my hair move along with the rhythm of the swaying flowers. I closed my eyes for a moment, simply allowing myself to feel the peacefulness and stilness surrounding me.

Then I looked up, my gaze travelling across the endless field, following the sea of colours until it met the curve of the horizon, which was slowly being painted in the red hues of dusk.

The soft clouds in the distance complemented the vast field of flowers before me, creating a sight so beautiful that it almost didn’t feel real.

I stared at it quietly, my lips parting slightly as a strange ache began forming in my chest. "If the world is this beautiful, then why is my life full of scars?" I whispered.

The calm that had settled in my heart only moments ago began fading with every passing second. The gentle breeze still caressed my face, and the flowers still swayed peacefully around me, but I could no longer enjoy them the same way.

Instead, I found myself comparing this beautiful view with the life I had right now. A life that had once been beautiful just like these flowers. A life that had once felt safe.

"Why couldn’t my life stay like it was?" My voice trembled. Before I could stop it, I felt a tear escape the corner of my eye. My vision slowly blurred, and the soft clouds in the distance turned hazy behind the tears filling my eyes.

"Why couldn’t it stay beautiful like these flowers?" My fingers tightened slightly around the petals.

I wanted to hold on to this feeling of peace. I wanted to pretend, even for a little while, that nothing had ever gone wrong. But the memories I had been desperately trying to keep buried began rising to the surface again.

Everything that I had thought once was true had been nothing but a fluke, nothing but my foolishness, my foolish of thinking everyone was what they had shown on their faces, foolishness of believing people who were actually just backstabers.

Before I could say anything else, I felt my legs buckle beneath me. I felt them turnung into jellies as if they could no longer bear the wait of my body or rather of the burdens I was carrying.

The excitement that had coursed through me when I first saw this place was long gone, replaced by the deep-buried pain I had been carrying for so long.

I had kept all my pain, all my worries, and all my complaints buried inside me until now. I had tried to stay strong. I had tried to convince myself that I wouldn’t let what had happened to me affect me.

I kept telling myself that I had to be strong; for myself, for my people, and for everyone who might have shed even a single tear for me.

I had forced myself to keep moving forward, even when every part of me wanted to stop.

But standing there among those beautiful flowers, with nothing but the peaceful wind surrounding me, I could no longer pretend that the pain wasn’t there.

Right now, it all came crashing down on me.

I knew I wasn’t strong. I knew I had only been pretending to be strong all this time.

Deep down, I still wished for all of this to have never happened. I still wanted to go back to the time when I could simply go to my dad, rest my head on his lap, and be his little princess again.

I had already lost all sense of where I was and what I was doing. I didn’t even understand what was happening to me anymore.

My hands and feet felt life less, and the blurry world in front of me seemed to be moving. Or maybe I was the one moving. But how? Where was I going?

I couldn’t even comprehend what was happening when I suddenly felt someone holding me from behind.

I knew it was Damian. Somehow, even through my hazy thoughts, I knew it was him who had caught me, probably because I had started falling again.

So much for trying not to bring him into my worries. That was what kept happening again and again. I had thought I would keep my distance from him. I had promised myself that I wouldn’t involve him in my problems anymore.

Yet here I was again, depending on him to steady me when I couldn’t even seem to steady myself.

"Athena, are you fine?!" I heard his worried voice through my rushing, hazy thoughts.

His hands carefully tried to stabilize me, one of them supporting me as he attempted to make me look at him.

"Goodness, Athena. I thought you’d feel better if I brought you here!" he said, panic evident in his voice. "I’m so sorry. I didn’t know this would affect you like this!"

I squeezed my eyes shut tightly as I tried to pull myself together.

I tried to shut away the thoughts raging inside my head, just as I had been doing for days. I wanted to bury everything again. But this time, I couldn’t.

The tears I had held back for so long began slipping down my cheeks, one after another, without my permission. "I am fine, Damian," I whispered, trying to reassure him once again.

Even I knew how unbelievable my words sounded in that moment. Still, I couldn’t help saying them. I took a deep breath and tried to stabilize myself, but my breathing remained unsteady, and my body refused to listen to me.

"Athena, don’t fight it." I heard Damian again, his voice had changed. The panic that had filled it moments ago was gone, replaced by a calm and gentle tone. "Don’t keep your emotions bottled up, Athena. Let them out."

His voice was close, steadying me when I couldn’t seem to steady myself. "I am here to listen to you. Let them out."

That was it, something inside me snapped. All the walls I had built around myself suddenly felt too weak to hold everything in anymore.

I moved my hands and wrapped my arms around him, hiding my miserable face from his gaze. And for the first time since everything had fallen apart, I stopped trying to hold myself together.

My cries finally escaped me. "My whole life was a lie!" The words finally rolled out of my mouth, louder than I had intended.

My voice trembled as I clung to Damian, no longer caring about how broken I must have looked in front of him. "I had loved him with all my heart, Damian. How could he do that to me?"

My fingers tightened slightly against him as the pain I had kept buried for so long poured out with every word.

"He took my everything. My love, my friend, my father... everything that I had once thought was mine. He took it all!"

My voice cracked at the end. I lowered my face further, trying to hide it from him as more tears slipped down my cheeks.

For so long, I had tried to convince myself that I could handle everything on my own. I had told myself that I didn’t need anyone to hear my pain, because speaking about it would only make everything feel more real.

But now that I had finally started talking, I couldn’t seem to stop.

Damian didn’t interrupt me. I felt his hand resting against my back and for a moment, the simple warmth of his presence made me realize that I really did have someone who was willing to listen.

Someone who wasn’t asking me to be strong. Someone who wasn’t telling me to forget what had happened. He was simply there.

"Athena." Damian’s voice finally interrupted my thoughts. I slowly went still when I heard the change in his tone.

His hands had stopped moving against my back. They remained there, steady and unmoving, as though he were carefully choosing his next words.

I hesitated before lifting my face slightly. His expression was difficult for me to read.

"Do you still love him?"