Chapter 174: ¹⁷⁴: stay far away

Chapter 174: 1??: stay far away

The realization left me with a strange mixture of relief and dread. At least I’d finally found something that seemed to help him, but the fact that he had been suffering so terribly without telling me what he needed made my chest ache.

I broke the kiss when I felt Kael’s lips move against mine. Pulling back just enough to examine his face, I searched his features anxiously, desperate to see whether there had been any improvement.

There was a little color returning to his lips, although his face still remained as pale as a sheet of paper. He still looked terribly weak, and the sight made my heart twist painfully.

"Kael, is this why you were saying all those things earlier?" I asked, my voice trembling.

By then, I had stopped caring about the tears streaming down my cheeks. I couldn’t even remember the last time I’d cried this much, but I didn’t have the energy to wipe them away. All my attention was focused on the man lying in my lap.

"If whatever the hell is happening to you is this serious, and you needed me to ease all this, you could’ve just told me like a normal person!" I exclaimed, the fear in my voice mingling with the frustration I’d been holding inside. "Why did you have to be such an ass about it?!"

" Athena..." Kael mumbled. His voice was faint, barely audible, and he still hadn’t regained the strength he’d possessed earlier. The sound of my name on his lips made me lean closer immediately, searching his face for any sign that he was about to tell me something important.

Worry flashed across my expression as I took in his pain-stricken features. His condition was clearly taking a toll on him, and yet, even now, he seemed more determined to push me away than to let me help him.

Guilt curled through my veins. *How had I not realized sooner that something was wrong with him?*

I’d noticed it. I’d known there was something strange about his behavior from the very beginning. His unnatural heat, his desperation, the way he’d seemed so unlike himself, all of it had been right in front of me.

And yet, I’d been so caught up in my own anger and hurt that I hadn’t stopped to consider what might be happening to him.

Now he was lying helplessly in front of me, suffering while I struggled to understand how to help him. The thought ate away at me, filling me with a guilt I couldn’t shake.

"You don’t want to do anything with me right now? Then fine!" Kael said, his voice strained as he struggled to get the words out. "Just leave the room, and make sure you’re at least two hundred meters away from me. Even farther, if necessary, so my wolf can’t sense you. I’ll handle this on my own, but you have to do what I told you!"

Pain struck my chest the moment I heard him. He wanted me to leave him alone? For a moment, I could only stare at him, struggling to process his words. Then the answer came to me, and the hurt in my heart twisted into something more complicated.

Of course he wanted me to leave. I was the one who’d told him not to touch me. I’d been the one to insist that I had the right to refuse him, no matter what our agreement said. And now, even in the middle of whatever he was suffering through, he was asking me to do exactly what I’d demanded earlier.

He was respecting the boundary I’d set. I should have been grateful that he wasn’t trying to force me into anything again. I should have been relieved that he was telling me to leave rather than insisting that I stay. But knowing that didn’t make it any easier to hear him tell me to go.

"Kael, I’m not doing that," I replied firmly. I lifted one trembling hand to wipe the tears from my cheeks, although more immediately gathered in their place. Taking a shaky breath, I tried to make him understand.

"I’m sorry about earlier. I was angry about something else..." My voice faltered, and I glanced away for a moment before forcing myself to look at him again. "Yes, I was upset because I hadn’t finished my assignment. That’s why I said all those things."

The excuse came out more easily than the truth ever could have. But right now, I couldn’t bring myself to explain everything I was feeling. I couldn’t tell him how much his words had hurt me or how frightened I’d been when he’d pinned me down. I couldn’t untangle my own emotions when he was lying in my lap, struggling just to speak.

"You’re in so much fucking pain right now," I continued, my voice breaking despite my efforts to keep it steady. "Of course I’ll help you if there’s anything I can do to ease it!"

"No, Athena." Kael’s reply was barely more than a murmur. He winced, his face tightening as though even speaking had become an effort. I immediately leaned closer, my heart clenching at the sight, but he continued before I could say anything.

"This isn’t the first time I’ve dealt with this. I’ll manage." He paused, seemingly gathering enough strength to finish what he was saying. "Just make sure you’re far enough away that my wolf can’t sense you."

I stared at him, my brows drawing together.

"Use your wolf’s senses," he continued weakly. "You’ll know how far you need to go. Once your wolf can no longer sense me, stay twice that distance away. Do you understand?"

For a moment, I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Even now, when he could barely keep his eyes open, Kael was more concerned about making me leave than allowing me to help him.

He spoke as though this were something he could simply endure alone, as though I were supposed to walk out of the room and pretend I hadn’t seen him collapse right in front of me.