Chapter 217: I Can’t Lose You Too

It was a full-bodied, no-hesitation leap of faith from a creature who had absolute confidence that her destination would catch her. But Ermin was faster. His hand shot out and snagged her mid-flight, catching her around the middle and tucking her back against his chest quickly.

Xavi and Ermin’s eyes went wide. They had not expected her to jump like that.

Althea went limp.

Her tiny body dangled from Ermin’s grip like a defeated animal, her small arms stretched out toward Tera, fingers grasping at the air. A low, offended grunt escaped her.

"Papa..." she whined.

Tera pressed her lips together to stop herself from laughing.

"Mama will see you soon," Ermin murmured to his daughter.

Then he directed an apologetic look at Tera. "Sorry, they wouldn’t let go, so I had to carry them."

Tera smiled. "That is fine."

She wasn’t worried in the first place because none of her mates would just come to dump the cubs on her, especially when she wanted some alone time with either of them.

Nadia, for her part, was reaching out to Althea to grab her too.

Ermin smiled and walked away with both cubs, and Tera watched them go until they disappeared between the trees, her chest warm.

She was going to play with them after this.

Tera turned back to Xavi.

He was still standing there, staring at the arrangement beneath the silk-leaf tree.

His gaze slowly trailed back to Tera, who had already taken his hands in hers.

They were so large that her fingers barely reached around his palms, and the warmth of them was immediate, spreading up through her wrists and into her arms.

She loved touching him so much!

"You did this?" His voice was quiet with surprise. "For me?"

Tera nodded.

She wished she did more things like this for her mates. They were always the ones bringing her food, carrying her when she was too tired to walk, and checking on her when she worked too long. They built her shelters and protected her cubs, and all Tera ever seemed to do in return was run headfirst into danger and make them worry.

"I will do this more often," she said softly.

It had also been a while since she had private time with both of them separately.

Xavi’s golden eyes crinkled, and a smile broke across his face so wide and so genuine that Tera smiled too.

He sat down on the fur mat and pulled Tera into his arms, settling her against his chest with the practised ease of someone who had held this female a thousand times and intended to hold her a thousand more.

Tera sank into him.

His body was so warm. The broad expanse of his chest rose and fell in a slow rhythm against her back, and his arms wrapped around her waist like they had been designed specifically for this purpose.

"Why?" Xavi murmured against the top of her head.

"I wanted to apologise," Tera said. "For worrying you the way I did. And I wanted to spend time with you. Just us."

Xavi was quiet for a moment. Then his arms tightened around her.

"This makes me very happy, Tera."

"I missed my warm, fluffy pillow," Tera laughed, burying her face in those bouncy pecs and grabbing them.

Xavi’s chest shook with a laugh that vibrated through her entire body. "Is that what I am?"

"The best one."

She rubbed her cheek against the solid warmth, and Xavi’s chin settled on top of her head as another low chuckle rumbled through him.

They ate.

Xavi picked apart the roasted tubers with obvious appreciation, offering Tera pieces before taking his own. She fed him fruits, pressing them against his lips and watching him accept them with an expression that suggested he found the entire process both bewildering and deeply pleasant.

They talked about small things. The cubs’ progress with walking. How Nadia had started copying Ermin’s frown and how Althea had begun using Puff Dumpling as a pillow, much to the creature’s distress, and a number of personal things.

The afternoon stretched around them. The silk-leaf canopy shifted with the breeze, and the filtered light painted moving patterns across their skin.

It was peaceful, and Tera loved every second of it.

After some time, the question Tera had been wondering about for a while found its way to the surface.

"Xavi."

"Hmm?"

"When I was hurt, and you came to the shelter..." She traced a pattern on his forearm. "You said you couldn’t lose me too. What happened?"

Xavi’s body went still beneath her.

The arm around her waist didn’t loosen, but every muscle in it turned to stone. His breathing, which had been so even and steady, caught in his chest and held there.

The silence was heavy.

Tera felt the shift immediately. She hadn’t meant to ambush him, but he had never said pr addressed it after that point. For something like that to have moved him to tears, Tera didn’t just want to ignore it.

But his reaction now made her feel bad.

"If—if you don’t want to talk about it," she said quickly, "that is completely fine. I don’t want to spoil our day. I just..."

She hesitated. The truth was that she barely knew anything about his past. This male who had held her through her darkest night, who had kept her warm through storms, who had built a clan from broken beasts and led them with a gentleness that belied his enormous strength, was a near-stranger to her when it came to his history.

She knew he had been born in a large tribe. She knew his family had left when he was young. She knew fragments from the one conversation they’d had during their date, when he had spoken about climbing trees as a cub with a fondness that suggested happier times.

"I just wish I knew you better," she finished quietly. "But you really don’t need to say anything you aren’t comfortable with. I still love you either way."

She smiled weakly.

Xavi was silent for a long time.

Then, in a voice so quiet that Tera almost missed it, Xavi spoke up.

"I was disobedient as a cub."