Chapter 117: What Have I Done?

"Let’s break up."

The words came out of my mouth, but they were loud enough.

For a moment, Sylvia didn’t say anything.

She just stared at me.

Her eyes were fixed on my face, as if she was waiting for me to laugh and tell her it was a joke.

Then she suddenly burst into laughter.

"Babe, are you pranking me right now?" She laughed loudly, shaking her head. "Come on, that’s an expensive prank."

I said nothing.

My fingers tightened beneath the table.

I could feel the cold sweat gathering in my palms.

I had imagined myself saying those words many times.

I had imagined being strong.

I had imagined looking Sylvia straight in the eyes and saying it without hesitation.

But now that the words had actually left my mouth, my chest felt painfully tight.

I couldn’t even look at her properly.

I lowered my gaze.

The food in front of me had suddenly lost all its taste.

I couldn’t remember what I had been eating.

All I could hear was the faint sound of Sylvia’s breathing.

Her laughter slowly died, and the silence that followed felt heavier than the laughter.

"Babe?"

I still didn’t answer. I pushed my chair backward and stood up.

The legs of the chair dragged against the floor with a rough scraping sound.

I turned around. I wanted to leave before I lost my courage.

Before I started crying.

Before I looked at Sylvia’s face for too long and changed my mind.

But I didn’t even make it two steps when Sylvia caught my wrist.

Her fingers wrapped tightly around it, making me stop.

"What was the meaning of what you said, Minnie?" Her voice was no longer playful.

There was confusion in it and fear.

I slowly turned around to her.

"It is exactly how you heard it," I said.

I tried to sound normal.

I tried so hard. But my voice trembled at the end.

Sylvia’s eyes narrowed slightly.

She stared at me as if she were trying to understand the person standing in front of her. Then she blinked.

She shook her head slowly. "But why, babe?"

Her grip around my wrist loosened. "Why?"

I looked away.

I couldn’t answer.

My throat felt blocked. I swallowed hard, but it did nothing.

I knew why.

I just couldn’t say it. I didn’t want to keep living off her.

That was the truth.

Sylvia had never made me feel bad about it.

She had never complained. She gave me things because she wanted to.

She took care of me because she loved me.

And maybe that was what made it worse.

Because every time I accepted something from her, I felt a little more useless.

I didn’t want to become someone who couldn’t stand on her own without Sylvia.

I didn’t want my entire life to depend on what she could provide.

But saying that aloud would make her feel guilty, and she had nothing to feel guilty about.

So I remained silent.

Sylvia stared at me.

When I still didn’t answer, she suddenly pulled me away from the dining room.

"Sylvia—"

She didn’t say anything. She just pulled me along.

I stumbled slightly as I followed her.

Her hand remained around my wrist. She pushed open the door beside the dining room.

It was a small storage room that hasn’t been used anymore.

The air inside felt different.

There was the faint smell of dust and old cardboard. Boxes were stacked against one side of the wall.

An unused shelf stood in the corner.

The light inside was dim, making the room feel smaller than it actually was.

Sylvia pulled me inside before closing the door.

The soft click sounded strangely loud.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

She didn’t answer.

I barely had time to look at her before she stepped closer.

I moved backward instinctively, and my back touched the wall.

Sylvia stopped in front of me. She tilted her head slightly and met my gaze.

And that’s when I saw it.

The hurt.

It was there in her eyes. Raw and impossible to hide.

She was trying so hard to hold herself together.

Her lips were pressed tightly together. Her breathing was uneven.

She blinked several times, as if she was fighting something back.

My chest tightened.

I’m sorry, Sylvia.

The apology stayed inside my head.

I’m so sorry.

I wanted to say it. I wanted to reach out.

I wanted to pull her into my arms and tell her that I didn’t mean to hurt her.

But my body refused to move.

Sylvia gave me a small smile. It wasn’t her usual smile.

There was no warmth in it.

She leaned away from me and let out a quiet laugh.

"Amelia..." Her voice was soft. "Do you want to break up with me?"

I swallowed hard.

My heart was pounding so hard against my ribs that it almost hurt.

I nodded. "Yes." I took a shaky breath. "Let’s break up."

Sylvia’s face fell. Her brows pulled together slightly.

She looked at me for a long moment, and then her lips began to tremble.

Her eyes became glassy, and I knew she was about to cry.

My heart shattered.

I didn’t want to see her like this.

I had seen Sylvia angry before. I had seen her annoyed. I had seen her laugh until she couldn’t breathe.

But seeing her standing in front of me, trying not to cry because of something I had said, was different.

It hurt more than I had expected.

"Why, Minnie?" The first tear rolled down her cheek. "Why do you want this?"

My chest tightened.

I fought the urge to reach for her.

My fingers twitched at my sides.

I wanted to wipe the tear away. I wanted to tell her everything was okay.

But it wasn’t.

Nothing was okay.

"Am I not enough for you?" Her voice broke as another tear slipped down. "Or did I do something wrong?"

I shook my head slightly. "No."

"Then why?"

I couldn’t answer.

Sylvia stared at me, waiting for an answer.

Waiting for an explanation. Waiting for something that could make sense of what I had just done.

But I had nothing I could give her.

My eyes burned.

I blinked quickly, trying to push the tears back.

I couldn’t cry.

If I started crying, Sylvia would know how much I was hurting too.

And if she knew that, she might think I wanted to stay.

Maybe I did.

But I couldn’t.

I couldn’t keep depending on her.

I had made my decision, even if it was destroying me.

Sylvia wiped her cheek.

Her hand trembled slightly. She looked down for a moment, and then she looked back at me.

"Fine." She said quietly. "If that’s what you want..."

She took a shaky breath. "I will break up with you."

Something inside me broke.

I had been prepared to say it. I had been prepared to hear myself say it.

But hearing Sylvia say it back was different.

My lips parted, but no sound came out.

The tears finally escaped. I quickly lowered my face.

I didn’t want her to see me crying.

But Sylvia stepped closer. She raised her hands and cupped my face. Her palms were warm against my cold skin.

I froze.

She looked into my eyes, and neither of us said anything.

There was so much pain in her expression.

So much that I couldn’t bear looking at her anymore.

Then she leaned closer, and her lips touched mine.

I closed my eyes.

The kiss felt desperate, like she was holding on to something that was already slipping through her fingers.

Her hands remained against my face. I could feel the slight trembling in them.

My tears continued falling.

I wanted to hold her. I wanted to wrap my arms around her and stop this. I wanted to tell her that I had changed my mind.

But my hands stayed at my sides.

I couldn’t move.

Because I knew that if I held her, I wouldn’t be able to let her go.

Sylvia kissed me again.

There was so much emotion in it that my chest ached.

The kiss wasn’t enough to fix anything.

It couldn’t erase the words I had said. It couldn’t undo the decision.

It only made the pain worse.

Because I could feel how much she was hurting and I was hurting too.

Sylvia finally pulled away. Her face was close to mine, and her eyes were wet.

She looked at me for a few seconds, and then she gave me a bitter smile.

"We have already broken up." She said slowly.

She lowered her hands from my face, turned around, and opened the door.

I stared at her back.

I wanted to call her. I wanted to grab her hand.

But I couldn’t.

Sylvia walked out and closed the door behind her.

I stared at it.

My breathing became uneven.

"Sylvia..." My voice broke.

She didn’t come back.

I continued staring at the closed door.

My vision became blurry.

I blinked, but the tears only gathered faster.

My knees suddenly became weak.

I slid down the door.

My back dragged against the hard surface until I reached the floor.

I sat there completely still.

For a few seconds, I couldn’t even cry.

I just stared at the floor, and then my chest tightened.

A sob escaped.

I covered my mouth immediately as another sob followed.

I couldn’t stop it anymore.

I bent forward and buried my face between my knees.

Tears poured down my face. My shoulders shook as I cried.

It felt as if something had been taken out of my chest.

My happiness.

My warmth.

Everything that had made me feel safe.

It felt like it had all been taken away from me in just a few minutes.

What have I really done?

The question repeated itself in my mind.

What have I really done?

I was the one who wanted this. I was the one who said the words. I was the one who ended everything.

So why did it hurt so much?

Why did my chest feel like this?

Why did I suddenly feel like I had made the biggest mistake of my life?

I pressed my face harder against my knees.

"I’m sorry..." My voice came out broken. "I’m sorry, Sylvia."

Tears continued rolling down my eyes, wetting my blazer.

I wiped my face with my sleeve, but the tears didn’t stop.

I couldn’t stop them.

I didn’t know it would hurt like this.

I thought I could do it.

I thought I could let her go.

But now that she was gone, I realized how painful those words had been.

I hugged my knees tighter and buried my face between them.

My body shook with every sob.

I wanted to take the words back. I wanted to open that door. I wanted Sylvia to still be there.

But I stayed on the floor, and all I could think about was the bitter look on her face when she told me,

"We have already broken up."

My tears fell harder, and I closed my eyes.

What had I done?