Chapter 119: Apologize...

~~~~~~ Amelia’s POV ~~~~~

"If there’s nothing else, I’ll hang up then."

Sylvia’s brother ended the call before I could say anything else.

I sat frozen at my desk, my phone still pressed against my ear even though the call had already ended.

I slowly lowered it and stared at the screen.

The call had lasted less than a minute.

Yet somehow, it felt like it had taken everything out of me.

I didn’t know what I had expected when Sylvia’s brother picked up the call.

Maybe I wanted him to tell me Sylvia was fine.

Maybe I wanted him to tell me where she was.

Or maybe, deep down, I just wanted to hear Sylvia’s voice.

But he hadn’t said anything.

I lowered my head.

"Lia." Camila tapped me lightly on the back.

I turned slightly to look at her.

She glanced at Sylvia’s empty seat before looking back at me. "Where’s your girlfriend?"

The word girlfriend made my chest hurt.

I looked away. "She’s not coming to school today."

Camila frowned. "Why?"

I didn’t answer.

She watched me for a few seconds before asking again, this time more carefully.

"Lia, what happened?"

My fingers tightened around my phone.

I knew I couldn’t keep avoiding the question.

"I bro—"

"Calm down, class. Let’s start what we have for today. And for today’s presentation, it will be postponed until next week."

Miss Olivia’s voice interrupted me as she walked into the classroom.

I immediately looked toward the front.

Camila looked at me too, but she didn’t say anything.

Miss Olivia placed her books on the desk and adjusted her glasses.

"Open to Chapter 119 in your mathematics textbook."

Everyone began opening their books. I did the same, but my eyes kept drifting toward Sylvia’s empty seat.

The chair was pushed slightly under the desk, just the way it usually was when Sylvia left the classroom.

Everything looked normal, except she wasn’t there.

I stared at the empty seat longer than I should have.

I looked down at my textbook.

The numbers on the page blurred together.

I tried to focus on Miss Olivia’s explanation, but my mind refused to stay in the classroom. Different thoughts came running through my mind.

Where was Sylvia?

Was she at home?

Was she crying?

Had she told her family what happened?

Was she still angry with me?

Did she hate me now?

I swallowed hard.

I knew I deserved her anger. But the thought of Sylvia hating me still hurt more than I expected.

I kept glancing at her empty seat.

Every time I did, the same painful feeling returned.

I missed her.

I missed her voice.

I missed the way she would quietly lean toward me during class and whisper something that made me smile.

I missed having her beside me. I missed knowing that whenever I turned around, she would be there.

Now her seat was empty and it was my fault.

"Lia."

I blinked.

Daniela was looking at me. She nudged my elbow lightly. "Are you okay?"

I forced a small smile and nodded. "Mmm."

She studied my face for a moment.

I knew she could tell something was wrong.

Still, she didn’t press me.

She simply nodded and returned her attention to her textbook.

I lowered my eyes again.

The rest of the lesson passed slowly. I barely understood anything Miss Olivia taught.

All I could think about was Sylvia.

By the time the bell rang, it was already 12 p.m.

"We’ll end the lesson here," Miss Olivia announced as she gathered her books.

The moment she left the classroom, I dropped my head onto the desk.

I closed my eyes.

I was tired.

Not physically. My mind was tired and my heart felt even worse.

A few seconds later, I heard footsteps approaching.

I didn’t lift my head.

Camila walked toward Sylvia’s seat and sat down.

"Now tell me," she said. "What happened?"

I opened my eyes slowly.

Daniela moved closer and rested her head gently against my back.

I stared at the surface of my desk.

For a few seconds, I couldn’t say anything.

Then I whispered, "I stupidly broke up with her."

Camila’s expression immediately changed.

"Because of that bitch again?"

I knew exactly who she meant.

Janina.

I nodded.

Camila sighed heavily and rubbed her forehead. "Are you serious, Amelia?"

I lowered my gaze.

"Why would you hurt someone who loves you that much?"

I didn’t know how to answer. Because I didn’t want to admit how stupid my reasons sounded.

I had felt insecure. I had been angry because of Janina.

But there had been something else too. Something I hadn’t been brave enough to admit to Sylvia.

I had started feeling like I was depending on her too much.

Sylvia was always there.

If I needed something, she helped. If I wanted something, she gave it to me.

She never complained. She never made me feel like I was a burden.

But instead of feeling grateful all the time, I had started feeling useless.

I hated that feeling, and instead of telling her, I pushed her away.

Camila’s voice pulled me out of my thoughts. "What will you do if Sylvia hates you?"

My fingers tightened.

"And stops talking to you completely?"

I looked at her.

"What if she gets another girl?"

My entire body froze.

Another girl.

I stared at Camila. She probably didn’t realize how deeply those words had affected me.

I hadn’t thought about that.

Not once.

When I broke up with Sylvia, I had only thought about escaping my own feelings.

I hadn’t thought about what would happen afterward.

I hadn’t imagined Sylvia moving on. I hadn’t imagined another woman standing beside her.

Another woman holding her hand. Another woman making her smile. Another woman receiving the love that used to belong to me.

My chest tightened.

No.

I couldn’t accept that.

The thought of Sylvia looking at another woman the way she used to look at me made something inside me ache.

I couldn’t bear the thought of Sylvia smiling because of someone else.

I couldn’t bear imagining her laughing with another woman.

And I definitely couldn’t bear seeing Sylvia kiss another woman.

The thought alone made my stomach twist.

I looked down quickly.

"I know I was wrong," I whispered. "What should I do, Camila?"

She didn’t answer immediately.

I swallowed. "And it looks like Sylvia doesn’t want to talk to me."

"Who wouldn’t?" Camila asked.

I looked at her.

"Who would bear to be hurt by the person they love?"

I lowered my head.

Her words hurt, but I knew she wasn’t trying to hurt me.

She was telling me the truth.

I had hurt Sylvia.

Not because Sylvia had done something wrong. Not because she didn’t love me.

She had loved me too much and I had taken that love and thrown it back at her.

I rubbed my fingers together. "What if I’ve already lost her?"

The words came out before I could stop them.

Camila looked at me for a long moment. "Then what are you going to do?"

I lifted my head. "I need to talk to her."

"Talk to her about what?"

I hesitated. "I don’t know yet."

Camila raised an eyebrow. "You don’t know?"

"I know I need to talk to her. I just... don’t know how to start." My throat tightened. "I need to apologize."

Daniela lifted her head from my back. "You haven’t apologized yet?"

I shook my head. "No."

Camila sighed. "Then that’s where you should start."

I nodded slowly. "But what if she doesn’t want to see me?"

"Then you’ll have to respect that."

My heart sank.

"I don’t want to."

Camila gave me a serious look. "I know."

I looked at her.

"But you don’t get to decide what Sylvia wants anymore."

I went silent. Her words hit me harder than I expected.

She was right.

I had already made one decision for Sylvia.

I had decided we should break up without telling her the real reason.

I had decided she would be better off without me.

I had decided everything for both of us.

So now, if Sylvia didn’t want to see me, I had to respect that.

Even if it hurt. Even if I wanted to run to her and beg her to listen. Even if all I wanted was to hear her say my name again.

I couldn’t force her.

I picked up my phone.

My fingers hovered over Sylvia’s name.

"Should I text her?"

Camila looked at my phone. "What are you going to say?"

I stared at the blank message box.

I typed slowly.

Amelia: I’m sorry.

I stared at the words.

They looked too small. They couldn’t carry everything I wanted to say.

I deleted them.

I tried again.

Amelia: Can we talk?

I stared at the message.

Then I deleted it too.

I dropped my phone onto the desk.

"Why is this so difficult?"

Camila looked at me. "Because this time, you’re not saying what you want to hear."

I frowned slightly.

She continued, "You’re trying to say something Sylvia deserves to hear."

I looked at her.

"What does she deserve to hear?"

"The truth."

I lowered my head.

The truth.

I had been scared of saying it.

Not because I didn’t know what it was.

I knew.

I was scared of admitting it.

"I was scared," I whispered.

Camila’s expression softened. "Scared of what?"

"That I was becoming too dependent on her."

The words finally came out.

I looked at Sylvia’s empty seat.

"She gave me everything. She never complained about it. Whenever I needed something, she was there. Whenever I wanted something, she helped me."

I swallowed.

"And instead of just being happy about having someone who cared about me, I started feeling like I couldn’t do anything without her."

Daniela’s expression softened. "Lia..."

"I felt useless." I looked down at my hands. "I didn’t want her to feel like she had to take care of me all the time."

Camila sighed. "That isn’t stupid."

I looked at her.

"It isn’t stupid to want to stand on your own," she continued. "But breaking up with her without telling her how you felt was wrong. And you made her think she wasn’t enough."

My eyes immediately burned.

"She is enough," I said slowly as my voice cracked slightly. "She has always been enough."

"Then tell her that."

I took a slow breath. "I will."

I needed to see Sylvia. I needed to tell her the truth.

I needed to tell her that she wasn’t the problem.

That I was the one who had been afraid and most importantly, I needed to apologize.

Not because I wanted her to stop being angry. Not because I wanted her to forgive me immediately. Not even because I wanted to feel better.

I needed to apologize because Sylvia deserved an apology.

I looked at my phone again. Her name was still there.

My thumb hovered over it. For a moment, I wanted to call her.

But I stopped myself.

If she didn’t want to talk to me, calling her repeatedly wouldn’t make things better.

So I locked my phone.

I would wait. When I see her again, I will apologize properly.

And if she didn’t forgive me...

I would accept it.

Even though the thought terrified me, because I finally understood something.

Loving Sylvia didn’t mean I could hurt her and expect her to stay.

If I wanted another chance, I had to earn it.

Camila stared at me for a moment before sighing.

Then she reached over and flicked my forehead lightly.

"Stop overthinking."

I rubbed my forehead. "How am I supposed to stop?"

"By eating."

I blinked.

"Eating?"

"Yes, eating." She pointed toward the cafeteria. "But now we need to go and eat, girl."

I stared at her. "I don’t feel like eating."

"I didn’t ask if you felt like eating."

"Camila..."

"No." She stood up and grabbed my hand. "You’re going to eat something."

I sighed. "I really don’t want to."

"And I really don’t care."

Daniela laughed softly beside us.

Camila pulled me out of my seat. "Come on, Lia."

I reluctantly stood. My eyes moved toward Sylvia’s empty desk one last time and the ache returned to my chest.

I wanted her back. I wanted to fix what I had broken, but for now, there was nothing I could do.

I had to give her time.

Camila noticed me staring at the empty seat. "You can miss her while eating."

I looked at her. "That isn’t funny."

"I know." She squeezed my hand. "But you need to take care of yourself too."

I looked away.

She was right.

I hadn’t eaten much that morning. My stomach was empty, but I hadn’t even noticed. My thoughts had been completely consumed by Sylvia.

Camila pulled me toward the classroom door.

"Come on, girl. Food first. Crying later."

A tiny smile appeared on my lips. "You’re annoying."

"And you’re hungry."

"I am not."

My stomach suddenly growled. The sound was loud enough for both Camila and Daniela to hear.

Camila stopped and slowly turned toward me.

I froze.

Daniela burst into laughter and Camila grinned.

"Your stomach just exposed you."

I covered my face with one hand. "Oh my God."

Camila laughed as she grabbed my other hand.

"Come on."

I couldn’t help laughing too.