Chapter 380: A Question of Intentions

Chapter 379: A Question of Intentions

Lyria’s POV

Earl Hawthorne nodded slowly, his gaze remaining upon the flowers in my hands.

"The name sounds rather ordinary for something so beautiful," he remarked.

I smiled and turned the bouquet over gently between my fingers. The petals were soft beneath my touch, their vivid blue standing out against the muted colours of my chamber.

"I a-appreciate the flowers," I said. "They will b-bring some beauty to my rather p-plain private chambers."

His brow furrowed.

"Plain?"

He glanced around the room.

"Your Highness, I assure you, there is very little about these chambers that I should describe as plain."

I did not reply him.

Earl Hawthorne gestured towards the reading table.

"Your books alone make the room appear considerably more lived-in."

I chuckled.

"I am t-taking lessons on n-noble speech."

He looked at me.

"Noble speech?"

I nodded.

"And I am t-trying to u-understand it."

A faint smile appeared upon his lips.

"I had assumed you were merely receiving instruction in reading and writing."

I laughed softly.

"That is a-actually what I m-meant."

He raised an eyebrow.

"I merely thought it sounded m-more impressive w-when I said it the o-other way."

For a moment, he stared at me.

Then the corner of his mouth lifted.

"I see."

He sounded as though he were making a genuine effort not to laugh.

I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Do not l-laugh."

"I should not dream of it, Your Highness."

He absolutely wanted to.

I could see it in his eyes.

He approached the table and examined the books. He picked up one of the volumes, turning it over in his hands before glancing at the title.

"I thought Julian was teaching you."

I blinked.

"How d-do you know about that?"

"Alistair mentioned it." He returned the book to the table with care. "Julian apparently let the matter slip without intending to do so."

I was quiet for a moment.

"Are you m-mad that I k-know?" He asked me.

"No." I told him. "I-I am not nearly so sensitive u-upon the matter as I o-once was. And b-besides, I am b-better at it n-now."

"Indeed?"

I nodded.

"I r-recognise many m-more words."

"That is encouraging."

He regarded the books again.

"Though I suspect learning how to speak like a noble may prove considerably more troublesome than learning how to read."

I sighed.

"It is."

Hawthorne smiled.

"Then I shall endeavour not to make your studies more difficult than they already are."

A comfortable silence settled between us.

It was strange.

Only a short while ago, I had been sleeping peacefully, completely unaware that an Earl had somehow managed to gain admittance to my private chambers. Now he was standing beside my reading table as though his presence there were the most ordinary thing in the world.

Eventually, his expression grew more serious.

"I received word earlier today that my appointment with Your Highness had been cancelled. I was informed that I would instead be accompanying Princess Jacinta."

I said nothing and he continued.

"I was also informed that Your Highness had taken ill."

There was a faint note of disbelief in his voice.

"At first, I confess, I found the report rather curious. You had only recently recovered from your previous illness. To fall ill again on precisely the day upon which we were expected to meet seemed an extraordinary coincidence."

He paused.

"I did not believe it."

I looked down at the flowers.

"I was n-not sick."

"I gathered as much."

There was no accusation in his voice.

Only certainty.

"I subsequently learned that the decision had come from the Queen’s household."

My fingers tightened slightly around the ribbon.

Hawthorne noticed.

He did not comment upon it.

Instead, he said, "I had made plans for our date."

I looked up.

"What sort of p-plans?"

A faint smile touched his face.

"I had intended to teach you a little more than how to throw a punch."

I raised an eyebrow.

"That was not t-the entirety of the lesson?"

"Hardly."

He sounded almost offended by the suggestion.

"I intended to teach you how to handle a dagger properly, and perhaps a sword, should you ever have cause to use one. There are several means by which a person may defend themselves, and relying upon one’s fists alone would be rather imprudent."

He paused.

"Particularly in a place such as this."

I understood what he meant.

"After what occurred during the competition," he continued, "I thought it only sensible that you should possess more than one means of protecting yourself."

He glanced towards me.

"The world is not always a particularly kind place."

I nodded.

"Then, when I discovered that Your Highness had not fallen ill at all, I confess that I became rather determined to see you."

His expression shifted into something almost sheepish.

"Even if doing so required me to impose upon your ladies and enter your chambers like a gentleman with questionable intentions."

I could not help laughing.

"Is t-that why you came w-with flowers?"

He smiled.

"The flowers were planned from the beginning."

He lifted one shoulder in a mild shrug.

"I had intended to present them to you during our appointment."

His gaze fell briefly to the bouquet.

"Unfortunately, circumstances have a habit of interfering with even the most carefully considered arrangements."

I smiled.

That was certainly true.

He turned towards me fully and the amusement faded from his expression.

"There is something else I wished to say."

I nodded.

"The manner in which you defended the common people yesterday was..."

He paused, apparently searching for a suitably respectable word.

"Refreshing."

I raised an eyebrow.

"R-refreshing?"

"Yes."

A faint smile returned.

"I have attended enough gatherings of the nobility to know that many gentlemen can speak at considerable length without saying anything of consequence. Yesterday, Your Highness managed to accomplish the opposite. You said precisely what you believed ought to be said. And I would be lying if I claimed I did not admire it."

I looked down at my hands.

"I d-did it the w-wrong way."

"No."

His answer came immediately.

"If I may be permitted to disagree, Your Highness, I do not believe the matter can be reduced quite so neatly. The distinction between right and wrong is not always as clean as we might wish it to be. Yesterday, I do not believe there was necessarily a proper or improper manner in which you could have defended those people."

He paused.

"What mattered was that your intentions were unmistakable."

He stepped closer, though he maintained a respectable distance between us.

"And I ought to tell you something else. The common people noticed."

I shook my head.

"Their e-expressions suggested o-otherwise."

"They were frightened for you, Your highness." He told me.

"It is a mistake many nobles make. They imagine that because a man or woman is common, they must therefore be incapable of understanding what occurs around them." His expression hardened slightly. "They are not. People who spend their lives observing those above them often become remarkably skilled at reading intentions. They notice things we fail to notice precisely because we have grown accustomed to believing ourselves beyond their scrutiny."

I remained silent.

"I believe they understood why you spoke," he continued. "Whether they approved of the manner in which you did so is another question entirely."

I lowered my gaze.

"And t-that is precisely where the d-difficulty lies."

"How so?" He asked with a frown.

I took a slow breath.

"How d-does one make their i-intentions clear without the c-consequences becoming q-questionable?"

Earl Hawthorne opened his mouth.

But I continued before he could answer.

"And c-contrary to what you said, I q-quite believe the o-opposite. Yes, the l-line between right and wrong may be blurred at certain times. But one must admit that there are r-right ways to do even w-wrong things, and wrong ways to do r-right things. Sometimes b-both may result in favourable c-consequences."

My fingers tightened around the bouquet.

"But s-sometimes—especially in my c-case—I d-doubt it. Good i-intentions may be p-pure, but i-intentions not worth the risk or c-consequences are quite p-plainly nonsense."

"And," I said meeting his gaze. "W-what makes y-you so certain that j-just because my intentions w-were pure, I have done o-okay?"