Chapter 242 - 207: The 2 Little Guys Are Actually Setting Me Up

Chapter 242: Chapter 207: The 2 Little Guys Are Actually Setting Me Up

September 1st, 6:00 AM.

The instant the alarm clock went off, the two little ones shut it off even faster than Xu An could. Their four soft, chubby little hands pressed down on Xu An’s left arm, shaking it forcefully as they clamored, "Big Brother, get up! Get up! We’re going to kindergarten! We want to go play with the other kids!"

"Alright, alright, stop shaking me. Big Brother’s awake, I’m getting up now." With his right hand, Xu An threw back the covers and got out of bed crisply.

Xu An was naturally very pleased that the two little ones were so earnest and enthusiastic about going to kindergarten.

After all, in his previous life, after he’d brought the two of them back home, the first time he took them to elementary school, they had cried up a storm, wailing nonstop, "Big Brother, don’t abandon us! We’ll be good, we’ll be really obedient! We know how to do laundry, sweep the floor, and take care of babies! Big Brother, we’ll take care of babies for you! Please take us home, okay?"

After they shouted those words, the expressions of all the parents and passersby instantly changed. They looked at him as if they were staring at something filthy, their eyes filled with disdain and disgust.

’Since they haven’t gone through all that terrible stuff this life, I probably won’t have to go through that again.’

They were still a full two hundred meters from Qingya Kindergarten when a piercing wail reached their ears. The two little ones peeked out from behind Xu An, curious to see what was happening, but their view was completely blocked by the many cars and adults.

However, having experienced a similar scene once before, Xu An knew exactly what was going on. He said softly to the two, "Kangkang and Lele are good boys. You’ll go to kindergarten obediently and not cry, right?"

The two little ones naturally nodded furiously and declared with conviction, "Mhm! Kindergarten is so much fun, with so many fun things to do and good things to eat! We definitely won’t cry!"

This harmonious brotherly relationship was maintained right up until a kindergarten teacher took their little hands to lead them inside, at which point it shattered abruptly.

"Big Brother, why aren’t you coming in? Come inside with us!" Xu Le shook off the teacher’s hand and, PATTER PATTER PATTER, ran to Xu An’s side. He grabbed Xu An’s right hand with both of his and tried to drag him into the school.

"You’re the ones going to kindergarten, not Big Brother! I’ll come pick you up at four this afternoon to take you home," Xu An said in a gentle tone, handing Xu Le’s little hand back to the approaching teacher as he spoke.

As soon as he said that, the two little ones’ eyes flew wide open in disbelief. Their mouths began to quiver and their eyes misted over. They shook off the teacher’s hand again, each one hugging one of Xu An’s legs, their little heads shaking back and forth. "No, no! Big Brother has to come to kindergarten too! Big Brother, you come too!"

"Big Brother already went to kindergarten when I was little, so I don’t have to go anymore!" Xu An crouched down, gently stroking their two fluffy little heads as he whispered, "At kindergarten, Kangkang and Lele can eat delicious food, play with lots and lots of other kids, have teachers lead you in games, play with lots and lots of new toys, and see lots and lots of new storybooks!"

"We don’t want other kids, we don’t want to play games! No, no, we just want Big Brother!" The two little heads shook even more violently, like pellet drums.

"If you go to kindergarten obediently, Big Brother will make you something delicious tonight!" When one tactic failed, he tried another. This time, Xu An played his trump card. "Sweet and tasty cola chicken wings, sweet and sour lemon boneless chicken feet, fragrant and delicious squid and prawns..."

As Xu An listed the dishes, the frequency of their head-shaking slowed, until finally, they snapped their heads up to look at him and began to negotiate. "I want garlic spare ribs!"

"Okay, garlic spare ribs it is!" Xu An agreed in a heartbeat.

"And tofu with meat!"

"Big Brother will make it!"

"Meatballs!"

"Done!"

"Shredded chicken!"

"Oka—"

This time, he was only halfway through the word when he realized something was wrong. These two little rascals were setting a trap for him! He turned to look into their eyes—they had been wailing and shaking their heads for so long, yet there wasn’t a single trace of a tear on their faces.

"Big Brother is going to count to five. If you don’t go into the kindergarten with your teacher by then, tonight you’re getting stir-fried cabbage and cabbage soup, with no meat at all!" Xu An said, his face stern and serious.

The two little ones immediately flinched, quickly let go of Xu An’s legs, and took the teacher’s hand to walk into the kindergarten. As they went, they didn’t forget to turn back and shout instructions, "Big Brother, remember to pick us up at four o’clock sharp! Big Brother, remember to go grocery shopping! We want cola chicken wings, chicken feet, squid and prawns, tofu with meat..."

As the two loudly rattled off the menu, the sound of crying on the scene suddenly dropped by several decibels. One child, nestled in his mother’s arms, opened his tear-filled eyes to look at her and asked tearfully, "Mommy, can I have cola chicken wings tonight?"

That one question was like flipping the switch on Pandora’s box; a chorus of children’s voices rose up one after another.

"Daddy, I want garlic spare ribs!"

"I want prawns!"

"..."

Watching the two of them enter the kindergarten safely, Xu An immediately beat a hasty retreat.

’It’s not the same kind of social death as in my last life, but the other parents’ stares are just too intense. I can’t take it. Of the Thirty-Six Stratagems, fleeing is best. I’ll see you guys again at 4 PM!’

’Where on earth did these two little rascals learn to bargain with me? With their tiny little stomachs, can they even eat that much food?!’

Although he was complaining internally, Xu An still dutifully jotted down the menu they had ordered in his notebook. He even set an alarm on his phone to remind himself to buy groceries before picking them up in the afternoon...

「Xu’s Fast Food Restaurant.」

Just as Xu An got back to the restaurant, the packaging bags for Xu’s Braised Shop arrived from the factory. He immediately called Zhao Wei to have him run an errand and then summoned Tang Wen to start preparing the promotion for the lottery event.

Since the vacuum-sealing machine was installed in Store No. 1, Tang Wen, who worked on the second floor of Store No. 2, was unaware of this. Now, watching Xu An’s skilled movements, she saw four tightly sealed bags of braised products emerge fresh from the machine. Only then did she finally understand what Xu An had meant by "sending them to netizens all over the country."

’I was stuck in my old way of thinking. I forgot that vacuum-sealing allows food to be preserved for much longer!’

Zhao Wei was as fast as ever. In less than two hours, Tang Wen had the photos he’d touched up and began editing the copy for a new post.

’After the last post, a lot of netizens from other provinces were worried about how the braised foods would be preserved. Now I can finally step up and loudly tell everyone not to worry!’

After getting Xu An’s approval, a brand-new post went live on the Xu’s Catering account, which already had 41,000 followers. It was immediately flooded with comments.

’I knew it! It’s vacuum-sealed!’

’The lottery is still three days away?! I can’t wait! Can you move it up?!’

’Boss, your account has 40,000 followers! Isn’t 200 slots a little too few? I think you could add a few more. For example, how about adding a zero to the end?’

’...’

Of course, there were also plenty of skeptical voices. One netizen who knew a fair bit about food safety asked if Xu’s Braised Shop had obtained the license to sell pre-packaged food. They were worried that someone with malicious intent might report them and get them shut down completely.

Knowing that Xu An was already in the process of applying for the relevant permits, Tang Wen wasn’t worried and quickly replied to the netizen.

’Don’t worry! The boss is already applying for the relevant licenses. We’ll definitely have the certificates in hand by the time we ship them out~’

After replying to that person, Tang Wen picked a few more interesting comments to answer. But as she replied, the tone of the comments slowly started to go off the rails, shifting from questions about the lottery to playful banter.

’Boss, I heard from netizens in Hai City that your soul leaves your body when you eat the Hellish Braised Flavor. If it flies too far away, are you responsible for getting it back for me?’

’We’ll find it. We’ll find it for you even if it flies to the ends of the earth!’ Tang Wen replied.

’I heard you even arranged for an ambulance to be on-site during the event. When we eat it at home, can you help arrange for an ambulance to be downstairs for us?’

’We suggest this dear customer squat at the main entrance of a hospital to eat it!’ Tang Wen replied.

’Boss, I have fair skin, a beautiful face, and long legs. If I send you a picture, can you rig the lottery for me~?’

’Dear, your profile says you’re male. Why don’t you go to Thailand for a sex change first, and then we can talk about rigging things.’ Tang Wen replied.

’...’