Chapter 218: The Past [24]

"You’re right, Ana. You’re not me, and you’ll never be."

I swallowed down a lump in my throat, but I didn’t let her words get to me.

It wasn’t just about the words but how she said them, as though it was something not even the universe could change, even if I wanted.

So that was how she saw me...a sister who wanted to take over her life because she had everything perfect.

I didn’t blame her for thinking that. There had been a time in my life when I’d believed I could become her, but not until I realized that I was just living in her shadow. And I wanted nothing more than to come out of it.

"You have to stay away from Zade. This is for your own good." Her words were final.

The car pulled up, but I didn’t step out of the vehicle just yet, and neither did she. The silence was so loud and suffocating.

She painted me as the bad person, but I wasn’t gonna lie down and let her walk all over me.

"Why can’t you see that this time he just doesn’t want you?"

She laughed like I told a joke, but there was nothing funny about this. Her amusement rang around the car and the longer it played out, the more eerie it felt.

"You don’t know that... all men are the same. Sooner or later Zade is gonna get bored with you, and he’ll go after the next best thing."

She spoke with so much confidence it blinded her. She was so full of herself that it was sickening. She truly believed she could just bend anything to her will just because she could?

"For once, Annabeth..." I found my voice, despite how much I wanna admit defeat. "... everything isn’t about you. You can’t control this."

Her smile dropped.

"This time, it’s something you can’t simply have just because you want it. Sometimes, we have to accept that things won’t always go our way."

"You’re wrong," she affirmed. "I’m not pathetic like you. You can’t win against me, Ana. You never could. And don’t fool yourself into thinking you suddenly can just because you got there first. Getting first dibs doesn’t mean you get to keep him."

She opened the door and stepped out. I flinched when she slammed it shut so hard the entire car shook.

~☆~

I couldn’t sleep.

No matter how much I tried to get a shuteye, it just never came. I kept thinking about the heated exchange Annabeth and I shared in the car.

The more I did, the more it felt like my insides were infested and something ate away at my organs.

I hated this. I hated that our relationship was turning into something twisted and unrecognizable. It disturbed me more that we could be driven so far apart like this, like what we had for years was nothing and it could easily be broken.

I miss my big sister. I missed how we watched late-night movies and had popcorn, how we did makeovers, went shopping, and shared so many things.

It may not have been perfect, but she was the one person I could always run to no matter what. She was my everything, a rock when I needed to lean on and a shoulder to cry on.

I grabbed my phone, swiped through the last call list, and tapped on UNKNOWN. I lingered for a while before I eventually dialed the number.

It was fucking 3 a.m., and here I was calling Zade. I wasn’t thinking, but I needed someone to talk to.

I can’t even talk with Jacob because he was convinced that whatever was going on was my fault. And Clara? We weren’t really that close; she was more Annabeth’s friend than she was mine. She would take her side in a heartbeat too.

Every single person in my life wasn’t mine. I’ve always been alone and depended heavily on Annabeth, but now I can’t do that. I can’t run to her.

The line picked up, and I froze.

"Y-You’re awake?"

He chuckled tiredly. "For now. Good thing I wasn’t asleep just yet."

"Where are you right now?"

"Checking on a few shipments."

"Shipments?"

"Trust me, you don’t want details."

I smiled. "I guess so..."

"Why aren’t you asleep, kitten?"

I gulped. "Been thinking..."

"Mm..." he murmured. "About how you stood me up?"

"I-I didn’t do that."

"Yes, you did."

"I had to go home. It was—"

"Was your father home?"

My lips pressed in a thin line.

"Thought as much. I could see right through that sister of yours."

"I didn’t call you to talk about her."

"I’m aware, and I was just stating facts, kitten. A warning..." I heard a flick, and I could already picture a Zippo being lit. "I won’t tolerate that shit again."

"Zade..." I began, not sure if I should keep this call going, but I didn’t wanna be alone with my thoughts.

I shivered when I felt the tears slipping beneath my lashes.

"I’m all ears, kitten."

"Have you... have you ever wondered what it would feel like to disappear? To somewhere far away and isolated. Away from everything and everyone."

Someplace where I can’t feel like I was forsaken by the people I love.

"Always, darling."

I shivered at the reply, mostly at the endearment he used. He called me kitten many times, but this was different, and it felt so right.

"But consider seats for two, because if you wanna disappear, I’ll be there with you."

I chuckled breathily. "Then I’ll hold you to it. One day, take me away. Promise?"

"You have my word."

~☆~

One Week Later

Where is it?!

I had turned my entire room upside down, but I still couldn’t find the bracelet Zade had gotten me. It was a pretty emerald that stole my heart the moment I laid eyes on it.

I’d been so busy at the academy because of the upcoming performance, so I considered leaving the bracelet behind since it might get in the way.

I was certain I left it in the room, but now it seemed like it had just magically disappeared. God, I hope I haven’t lost it!

"Ana!"

I turned just in time as Annabeth waltzed in, already dressed for the equestrian.

Why is she dressed for it? Does she seriously still wanna go?

We haven’t seen much of each other for a week. Except during breakfast or lunch. It was almost like we didn’t have a disagreement to begin with.

She would strike up a conversation one too many times, and along the way she had the equestrian. It was an occasion we did once in a while, to ’leave the city behind’ as we called it.

Even though I was scared of horses, I still liked to attend because I enjoyed the scenery more and the nature that came with it. I may not ride, but I still love taking a stroll with a horse by my side.

Certainly never riding one.

"You aren’t ready yet." She swept her eyes around my room. "And why is your room a mess?"

"..."

"Ana? You okay?"

"I-I’m fine, I was just looking for something."

"What? Tell me."

I closed the drawer. "Nothing really."

I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to tell her that I was looking for a bracelet. The last thing I wanted was more negative emotions.

"If it’s not important, then why did you turn your room upside down?"

"You look all ready." I changed the topic, pointing to her clean outfit.

"Of course, silly! And here you are looking for something unimportant when we should be on our way."

"I thought..." I paused, trying to find the right words. "I didn’t think we would still go, you know."

Her expression softened, and she came close, trying to navigate through the mess on the floor.

"Ana..." she began. "It has been a really long, long week. I’ve been thinking a lot and... whenever I think back to the things I said to you and everything about..."

She gulped, taking my hands.

"The truth is... I realize I wasn’t considerate of your feelings. Yes, I was obsessing over Zade... fantasizing about a lot of things, but you... you were actually the one who met him, and I guess I was jealous that you got the chance I never did."

I narrowed my eyes. "You told Father you wanted to marry him. That’s not something you can take back."

"I know, but why should I keep pining over him when he only looks at you? I was so consumed with my anger and jealousy that I tried to take away what was yours. That was childish of me, and it must have felt unfair to you."

She hugged me tightly.

"I’m sorry."

A heavy breath fled from me as I sank into her arms. Was I dreaming right now?

"I-I thought I was losing you."

A breathy laugh escaped her, then she pulled away to see me. "Me too."

Tears welled up in my eyes.

"The last thing I want, Ana... Is for us to be torn apart. That is one thing I can’t handle. You’re happy and that makes me happy too."

I smiled.

"Do you love Zade?" she asked softly.

"Y-Yes."

"Have you told him?"

I sighed. "No, I haven’t. It was just hard and—"

"You should tell him."

"Y-You want me to?" I asked, surprised by how supportive she suddenly was.

"Yes, and from now on I just want my baby sister’s happiness."