Chapter 761: [Extra] American Salvation Chronicle: The Founding Father's Demon-Slaying Legend

They slit their wrists and let the blood drip into a groove beneath the Cross.

It was a tribute—the insurance premium they had to pay every month.

“What is this dark sorcery?” Lincoln said, angrily tightening his grip on the chains.

“This is Health Valley,” Roosevelt said, taking a deep draw from his pipe. “It’s overrun by a health insurance beast.”

The words had barely left his lips when the green Cross began to tremble violently.

A colossal creature burst from the ground.

It was the Old Monster of Claim Denials.

It was a tentacled monstrosity pieced together from countless Excel spreadsheets, complex liability waivers, and the skeletons of hundreds of actuaries.

“Get off my turf, you obsolete relics!”

The Old Monster of Claim Denials shrieked.

It whipped a tentacle made of documents covered in pre-existing condition clauses, lashing viciously at the four men.

“Die!”

Lincoln roared and launched himself into the air.

The chains of the Emancipation Proclamation in his hands glowed with a dark red fire as he slammed them down on the monster’s tentacle.

“CLANG!”

The chains slammed against the Excel spreadsheet but were repelled.

The numbers on the spreadsheet danced wildly, instantly converting the physical attack into a stream of harmless data.

Washington was right behind him.

He held his cherry-wood axe high as blue lightning gathered on the blade, then brought it down in a single cleaving blow aimed at the monster’s core.

“Invalid operation.”

The monster’s body suddenly turned transparent.

Washington’s axe passed right through it, striking nothing but air.

“Foolish brutes. You don’t understand the rules.”

The monster cackled, its thousands of tentacles unfurling at once.

“Pre-existing Condition Waiver!”

The monster cast its spell.

The space around them began to twist and distort.

In an instant, the four of them were sucked into a labyrinth of paperwork, a maze made of countless legal documents, medical bills, and denial-of-claim notices.

The walls of the maze were covered in the dense, fine print of unconscionable clauses.

With every step, they could feel their very life force draining away.

“My lightning magic is being nullified!” Franklin said, anxiously tapping his kite conductor. “The logic here doesn’t follow the laws of natural Science! It’s a completely self-contained system of lies!”

The maze was shrinking, and the four men’s strength was rapidly fading.

“You can’t defeat a capitalist algorithm with brute force!”

Roosevelt sat in his wheelchair, a fierce fire burning in his eyes.

“We have to use the power of the state!”

Roosevelt violently flipped open a red safety cover on his wheelchair’s control console.

“Engage Overload Mode!”

The steam boiler at the rear of the wheelchair let out a deafening ROAR.

“Medicare Shield!”

A dazzling golden light erupted from the wheelchair, forming a massive golden shield that rapidly expanded outward.

“CRACK! CRACK!”

Under the pressure of the golden shield, the walls of the paperwork maze began to crack.

In the face of the absolute full faith and credit of the state, those unconscionable clauses turned to ash.

“BOOM!”

The maze collapsed completely.

The Old Monster of Claim Denials let out a bloodcurdling scream as its core server was exposed.

“General! Now!” Roosevelt roared.

Washington didn’t miss his chance.

He launched himself forward like a cannonball, rocketing toward the monster.

His cherry-wood axe, burning with righteous fury, struck the monster’s core server with pinpoint accuracy.

Sparks flew. The data stream collapsed.

After a series of violent convulsions, the monster’s colossal body dissolved into a pile of smoking scrap metal and shredded paper.

The green Cross came crashing down, and the commoners awoke from their stupor.

The gray haze in their eyes gradually receded. They looked down at their slit wrists, at the blood flowing onto the altar, and let out cries of terror and confusion.

“The monster… is it dead?”

“Oh god, my policy… my debt…”

The people gathered around, looking fearfully at the four unexpected visitors.

“Your debt hasn’t disappeared,” Washington’s voice echoed. “I have merely cut down the henchman who collected for the creditor. The road ahead is one you must walk yourselves.”

With a sharp tug, Lincoln wrapped the now-warped steel chain back around his arm.

He looked at the ragged commoners, a flicker of compassion in his eyes.

“The shackles of this world have only changed their form,” Lincoln’s voice boomed like a great bell. “Before, they were iron chains you could see. Now, they are numbers you cannot. Brothers, stand up! Stop kneeling before that man-made beast.”

Franklin was crouching beside the monster’s core processor, probing the scorched components with a copper wire.

“The logic is a complete mess,” Franklin said, pushing up his spectacles. “This sorcery exploits humanity’s greed and fear of death. Once you cut the power, it’s nothing. General, we need to hurry. The true core is farther away.”

Roosevelt settled back into his steam-powered wheelchair as the boiler once again hissed, spewing out scorching white steam.

“The air here is foul,” Roosevelt said, his pipe clenched between his teeth. “It reeks of the blood of the poor and the stench of bureaucracy. Let’s go. On to the next place.”

The four of them didn’t linger. They returned to the road, to Route 66.

The setting sun stretched their shadows long behind them.

—

Chapter Four: The Thousand-Eyed Demon Monarch Weaves His Net

[There are no stars in the sky, only prying eyes. They traded freedom for illusory convenience, until their very souls were encoded.]

The four men sped down the long-abandoned highway, Roosevelt’s wheelchair leading the charge.

The scenery on either side of the road began to grow bizarre.

The fields that should have been filled with corn and wheat were now studded with massive black metal pillars.

The tops of the pillars were mounted with all manner of rotating cameras and flashing LiDAR sensors.

“I have never seen such a dense surveillance network,” Franklin said, his face grim as he looked toward the sky.