Chapter 1262 - 1259: Purification Furnace Hand: Thanks, Ang!

"Hack who? No need to hack anyone. Just go get me a good solid wooden hammer."

Looking at Chen Nian's forehead, where the words "Master Fuli I really want to improve" were carved, Ansheng's little fox face couldn't help but curl into a grin. He waved at Chen Nian, signaling everyone to just relax and join the Wandering God procession, no need to worry about anything else.

On the ground there was its own flesh-and-blood contamination; in the sky, Luwu Fighters were carrying out arrests.

Anyone who caused trouble would, in the very next instant, feel their vision go black and their whole body go stiff. The Luwu Fighter would shoot out a long tongue, roll the troublemaker into the cabin, and temporarily detain them.

Jiule City might be called a city, but at this moment it looked more like a massive flesh nest disguised as a metropolis.

"You want a wooden hammer?"

Chen Nian thought for a second, immediately agreed, and didn't even ask what it was for. He went straight to WeChat, sent a voice message, and told his underlings to prepare an ultra-durable wooden hammer.

"Since there's no hacking and slashing to do, I won't stay here getting in the way of Master Fuli and Sis-in-law..." After giving his instructions, Chen Nian turned around and walked into the ancestral hall.

The flag-bearing team members, although they didn't have to don the Bone Tower Divine General armor, were also responsible for clearing the way and maintaining the tourist procession. They still had a meeting to attend later.

To prevent the Purification Furnace Hand, the village headman, the Coachman, and the flag-bearing team from collectively losing their minds and leading the ten-plus-li-long Wandering God procession straight into some pit, or accidentally skipping certain stations.

The Wandering God event was usually jointly organized with donations from residents of multiple villages. Any household that worshipped a Divine General would send their statue to the starting point of the event. After careful dressing, they would put on Vestment robes made with Min Embroidery techniques and attach lights.

"Momo, why are you all just sitting there? Hurry and come see the 'Little Brothers' over here!"

The plump Fatty Girl hadn't come right up to the scene like Momo. She sat there big-boss style, instead wandering around with the nanny squad, full of interest, using her phone to film the Bone Tower Divine Generals inside the ancestral hall as they were being dressed and groomed.

The head buckets of the Bone Tower Divine Generals were no joke; their craftsmanship belonged to the lacquerware category. Everything you saw was intangible cultural heritage.

The event might look serious on the surface, but if you actually went inside the ancestral hall, you would see people running around in a panic, shouting things like: "Anybody got a Huazi? Urgently need a slim Huazi! My Lady Countess says the thick ones make her cough, she refuses to go out..."

Whether a Divine General would participate in the Wandering God procession had to be asked in advance by casting the Holy Grail.

After they agreed to participate, even the departure time still had to be determined by casting the Holy Grail to ask the Divine General's opinion.

So during the preparation phase, the Divine Generals inside the ancestral hall were dressed in all sorts of wild ways.

Some were holding lacquered milk tea cups, some were wearing a pair of sunglasses, some were holding tablets, and some had a cigarette clamped by the head bucket.

What had shocked Fatty Girl enough to shout and call Momo over to check out these "Little Brothers."

Was actually a group of ten-or-so-year-old little Divine Generals, riding pocket-sized motorbikes, a kind of mini bike whose seat barely reached knee height.

The Little Brothers rode their motorbikes, circling each other in front of the ancestral hall square, exhaust pipes roaring.

"Damn! There's even a motorcycle show?" Seeing the Little Brothers make their entrance, Momo was slightly surprised:

"Kids riding motorcycles, is that even legal? Those bikes' displacement has to be over 49CC, right?"

"Otherwise what, you want the kids to run themselves to death?" Ansheng wasn't surprised at all. Instead he spoke as if it were only natural:

"The Wandering God starts at eight o'clock, passes through, what, thirteen or sixteen villages? By the time you finish the whole route, the intensity is almost like an ironman triathlon, and it goes on till two or three in the morning...."

One Bone Tower Divine General weighed thirty to forty jin. Even though the Little Brothers' Divine Generals were the lightened versions, they still weighed ten to twenty jin, which was pretty heavy.

If you didn't let the Little Brothers ride bikes to follow along, you'd probably have one of them collapsing from exhaustion every few miles.

"Besides, the Wandering God route is blocked off in advance. It's all internal village roads; nobody's going to check....."

Ansheng's fox face was completely relaxed as he laid out the details of the Changxi Town Wandering God procession.

In this life he hadn't participated, but in his previous life Ansheng would occasionally come to join the fun.

With Old Lai leading the way, they'd eat the banquet spread for the Wandering God from the starting point all the way to the finish.

After running a full marathon like that, not only did he not lose weight, but when he stepped on the scale the next day, he'd damn well put on seven or eight jin.

"So that's how it is..."

Momo's expression turned enlightened. In the Lingnan Region there were similar "Master Ying" events, but without acquaintances, you really might not be able to mix your way into the ancestral hall or the preparation phase.

"Then..... what are we doing now?" Momo asked with a face full of eager curiosity, wanting the Little Fox to introduce more of these unique, weird folk customs.

"Now?"

Ansheng fell into a pondering look, glanced at the ancestral hall, and said: "We can go line up. It's about time they serve breakfast."

"Later, when you help Ah Qing with the livestream, remember to stick close to her, because the flag-bearing team is usually one of the first groups to enter the villages. Good cigarettes, good liquor, lavish dishes, and iced Coke fill the tables....."

Ansheng spoke with full confidence. Then his little fox face slowly turned into a comical expression as he said:

"Oh right! If we're talking about what's fun, aside from how the Divine Generals are dressed, Changxi Town is one of those classic 'ancestral law must not be changed' places."

"The Purification Furnace Hand has to be a virgin. Of course, in Changxi Town the Purification Furnace Hand is usually replaced every year. The longest any of them have lasted is not even to the third year."

"Oh? Being a Purification Furnace Hand can get you a relationship?" Momo asked with a face full of gossip.

"Of course not. It's that after you become the Purification Furnace Hand, everyone within a ten-mile radius knows you've got zero luck with women. No matter how thick your skin is, you still have to find a girlfriend, otherwise they'll drag you onto the street for public shaming."

Ansheng's expression brightened, letting out a "ying ying" giggle as he pointed at the village's Purification Furnace Hand.

"......"

The Purification Furnace Hand of Changxi Town said nothing. He just sat on a red plastic chair, holding an incense burner in his hands, head lowered like he'd seen through worldly desires, his face full of stubbornness and grievance.

In other places, if you're childfree, nobody cares. But in Changxi Town.

You don't want to be the Purification Furnace Hand every year, do you?

"6..." Hearing this, Momo popped out a "6," took out her phone, and snapped a handsome photo of the "Purification Furnace Hand."

"....."

The Purification Furnace Hand's expression was about to crack, but he still forced a friendly smile to greet the tourists.

"Hang in there!"

Momo gave the Purification Furnace Hand a nod, then put away her phone, followed the Little Fox's lead, and dragged Fatty Girl along to experience Xia Dong's traditional old-school breakfast.

Meanwhile, Ah Qing had finished her training and walked out from the back hall with her gear.

Ah Qing's looks hadn't changed much; there was just a light layer of makeup on her face now. Her fluffy coat had been swapped for a black vest, with a red print of the village's name over the left chest.

Ah Qing held a stainless steel pole, from which hung a black-and-white inverted-triangle banner that read "Promote Righteousness."

Chen Nian followed behind her, also wearing a black cloth vest, holding a "Co-create Prosperity" banner as he sat down at the temporary dining table in the ancestral hall.

"Pff..."

Seeing the banner in Chen Nian's hand, Ansheng almost spat out the meat dumpling he was chewing, his face contorting as he struggled not to laugh.

With Chen Nian's bandit style, if you really asked him to lead the villagers of Changxi Village to "co-create prosperity," he'd probably hand everyone a shotgun and say, "Let's go big, grow strong, and reach new glorious heights....."

Ah Qing's banner, on the other hand, fit her. Livestreaming local specialty tourist spots counted as promoting righteousness.

"Ah Qing, did Old Chen pick those banners for you on purpose?"

Ansheng poked Ah Qing, asking with a weird look on his face.

"Banners? Nah, we just grabbed them....." Ah Qing glanced at the stainless steel pole in her hand and shook her head. The words on the banners were all about the same—auspicious phrases.

There wasn't any special assignment. After the safety meeting in the back, everyone just randomly grabbed a banner.

"Then.... I guess that's just fate!" Ansheng said with a look of mock-sentimental emotion.

"Oh right! The village chief asked if you want to sit in the palanquin. They specially prepared one for you." Ah Qing took a bite of the fish-ball-and-meat-dumpling combo in her bowl, then looked at the Little Fox curiously:

"If you want to sit in the palanquin for the巡境, in a bit they'll arrange for my dad and the others to carry you out..."