Chapter 117: Everyone’s a Master - Fighting Immortals with Immortals

Chapter 117: Chapter 117: Everyone’s a Master - Fighting Immortals with Immortals

"Capturing Tian Erni was all thanks to your masterful planning and early arrangements, my lord." Wang Peng offered some flattery before continuing, "We followed your orders and set up an ambush outside Tian Family Dam. To our surprise, Tian Erni actually returned this morning."

Pei Shaoqing was taken aback. He had only made the arrangement as a precaution, on the off-chance it might work. He never actually expected them to catch her.

"What about the Fox Demon?" he asked, snapping out of his daze.

Wang Peng shook his head and replied, "She wasn’t with Tian Erni. Tian Erni didn’t say where the demon is, and we don’t know if the Lord Hundred Households has managed to pry her mouth open yet."

"Does she know what happened at Tian Family Dam?" Pei Shaoqing pondered for a moment before asking another question.

Wang Peng paused. "She probably doesn’t. We nabbed her before she even entered the village. But I don’t know if the Hundred Households Commander and his men told her during the interrogation."

"Pick up the pace," Pei Shaoqing ordered.

Zhou Li had estimated the travel time and led his men to wait outside the Hundred Households in advance. After waiting for less than the time it takes to drink half a cup of tea, he saw Pei Shaoqing and his group approaching on horseback.

’Such precise time management from an old bureaucrat!’

"Lord Pingyang." Zhou Li stepped forward to greet him.

Pei Shaoqing swung himself off his horse. "How is the interrogation going?"

"We’ve used all the heavy torture instruments, but she refuses to talk. We can’t actually kill her, so we’re at a loss with this woman." Zhou Li’s face was a picture of shame and embarrassment.

Pei Shaoqing raised an eyebrow at this. ’The Jing’an Guard’s prison can’t even break one woman? This Tian Erni really is a tough one.’ "Take me to see her."

"This way, Lord Pingyang." Zhou Li gestured, leading the way.

Arriving at the prison, Pei Shaoqing saw Tian Erni, her body covered in bloodstains from the torture. She was tied to a wooden stake, her hair disheveled, a miserable sight.

Hearing footsteps, the weakened Tian Erni lifted her head. Recognizing Pei Shaoqing, she gave a mocking smile. "I never thought this humble little woman would have the chance to see Lord Pingyang somewhere other than Qunfang Garden."

Zhao Zilan and Liu Yuheng’s expressions changed slightly.

"You wretched woman, watch your mouth! I only go to Qunfang Garden for drinks. Don’t you dare spout nonsense and ruin my good name," Pei Shaoqing rebuked righteously.

Zhao Zilan breathed a sigh of relief.

Liu Yuheng’s expression also returned to normal. ’I knew it,’ she thought. ’Pei Shaoqing isn’t the type to be fond of women of the night.’

"That’s not wrong," Tian Erni said with a laugh, looking around the room. "Everyone in this room, aside from those who came with Lord Pingyang, is one of my regulars, wouldn’t you say? I know the length, width, and breadth of every one of your ’tools’. Now you put your clothes on, act all high and mighty, and come to interrogate me. It’s as laughable as it is vicious."

As soon as she said this, the expressions of everyone in the prison cell turned strange.

"Shut your mouth, you harlot!" Zhou Li shouted.

Tian Erni giggled. "You’re the smallest. Every time, I have to rummage around your belly for ages just to find it."

Zhou Li’s face flushed red with anger. He pointed a trembling finger at her. "An insult to decency! An insult to decency!"

"Insolent! What a wretched woman, daring to be disrespectful to the Lord Hundred Households!" a Standard-Bearer roared.

Tian Erni: "What are you yelling about? I remember you. You were the fastest of them all."

"Shut up!" the Fast Gunner Commander raged, overcome with shame.

"Someone, slap her face for me!" another Standard-Bearer, a tall, stout man brimming with machismo, ordered.

Tian Erni laughed out loud. "You’re even more ridiculous. You liked me to step on you and whip you with a horsewhip."

’What? There’s a master of *that* here too?’

In an instant, everyone in the cell turned in unison, their eyes wide and jaws agape, to stare at the burly, ox-like, bearded Standard-Bearer.

’You really can’t judge a book by its cover!’

"No... you... don’t listen to her nonsense! I didn’t!" the burly Standard-Bearer stammered in a panic, his face alternating between pale and livid as he tried to defend himself.

Pei Shaoqing took a deep breath, turned his head to Zhou Li, and said, "Hundred Households Commander Zhou, I think I’m starting to see... all of you are men of hidden talents!"

’So many of them have slept with Tian Erni.’

’Pei Shaoqing was convinced. Her skills must be really good.’

"I’ve made a fool of myself before you, Lord Pingyang. A fool." Even with Zhou Li’s thick skin, his old face flushed red with embarrassment.

’He secretly swore to live a purer life from now on.’

’No more visiting the local brothels!’

Pei Shaoqing waved his hand. "Alright, all of you can leave first. I’ll handle things here."

’These men all have dirt on them that Tian Erni knows.’

’She has a natural psychological advantage, which makes it easier for her to resist their interrogation to the end.’

"Then we’ll have to trouble you, Lord Pingyang." Zhou Li looked as if he’d just received a pardon. He turned and left. "Quick! Everyone, out."

The local Hundred Households’ Jing’an Guard scrambled to leave, each trying to be the first one out, afraid that if they were too slow, Tian Erni would expose their own shortcomings and humiliate them.

After all, they were usually the ones shamelessly bragging about being seven inches long and lasting for an hour each time.

Tian Erni looked at Pei Shaoqing and said, panting, "They’ve already used every trick in the book on me. If you have any new moves, Lord Pei, bring them on. I will never betray the Fox Immortal!"

"You’re not afraid of death?" Pei Shaoqing asked curiously.

Tian Erni’s eyes held a fanatical gleam. "The Fox Immortal is omnipotent! Even if I die, She will resurrect me. Once She passes Her tribulation, I will be granted a place among the immortals for my service!"

’Alright, now I get it.’ Pei Shaoqing understood. This village girl had been completely brainwashed by the Fox Demon. It made sense. After all, in all sorts of folk tales, demons and immortals possessed all kinds of magical powers and abilities. It was normal for her to believe in them so deeply.

’Besides, Tian Erni was clearly from a village, but she wasn’t unattractive. Her skills were also good enough to bewitch men to the point of losing their minds, and even their lives. The Fox Demon must have taught her some tricks, making her believe even more.’

’You couldn’t threaten a simple-minded country woman like this with the lives of her fellow villagers.’ An idea instantly came to Pei Shaoqing: fight an immortal with an immortal.

He shouted sharply, "What Fox Immortal? That’s clearly a Fox Demon! I am here on the orders of a true Immortal to vanquish demons! And you are still so deluded! Let me ask you, can your so-called Fox Immortal perform this Magic, taught to me by a true Immortal?"

As his voice fell, he turned, pointed two fingers at an empty spot, and produced a chair out of his Storage Ring.

Tian Erni looked at him as if he were an idiot.

"My lord, it’s true I’m a village woman, and it’s true I’m uneducated. But you can’t treat me like a fool! I was fortunate enough to hear a Martial Artist I once served mention that things like Storage Magical Treasures exist in this world. That ring on your hand is one, isn’t it?"

Pei Shaoqing: "..."

’Fuck, so I’m the clown?’

Gongsun Yi and the others struggled to keep a straight face.

"Pfft—" Liu Yuheng couldn’t hold it in and let out a laugh.

Pei Shaoqing immediately whipped his head toward the sound.

Liu Yuheng instantly stifled her laughter, her face turning bright red as she held it in. She looked around and said, "Senior Brother, this prison is really... a prison. Look how thick that pillar is."

"Yes, yes it is," Gongsun Yi nodded in agreement.

SMACK! Pei Shaoqing slapped Tian Erni across the face. "Why does a whore like you know so much?"

’Are you trying to become the Champion Scholar or something?!’

"My lord is angry," Tian Erni said, her eyes full of mockery.

Pei Shaoqing stared at her quietly for a moment.

Suddenly, he said to Liu Yuheng, "I’ll have to trouble you, madam, to ride General Hei back to Tongzhou and bring General Li here."

’Still fighting an immortal with an immortal.’

’You have a Fox Immortal? Well, I have a Cat Immortal!’

’At General Hei’s speed, a round trip from Bazhou to Tongzhou wouldn’t even take half a day.’

"Huh?" Liu Yuheng looked baffled.

She knew Pei Shaoqing had a tabby cat that he doted on, even having a suit of armor made for it, but she couldn’t understand why he would want to bring it here at such a critical moment.

Pei Shaoqing only said, "Go quickly."

"As you command," Liu Yuheng replied, turning to leave.

Pei Shaoqing glanced at Tian Erni one more time without a word, cracked his neck, and turned to walk out.

Gongsun Yi and the others followed, not understanding what was happening.

"My lord, did that harlot confess?" Seeing Pei Shaoqing emerge, Zhou Li immediately went up to ask.

Pei Shaoqing said confidently, "I have it under control. There’s no hurry. I’ll have to trouble Hundred Households Commander Zhou to arrange a place for us to rest and have some tea."

"This way, my lord." Although Zhou Li was full of questions, he knew it wasn’t his place to probe further.

The group went to a side hall in the Hundred Households used for receiving guests and sat down. Servants were ordered to bring tea and pastries.

Zhou Li said, "Last year, there were multiple disappearances in Bazhou. No people, no bodies. A bizarre case like this couldn’t have been the work of an ordinary person, so naturally, it fell to us, the Jing’an Guard, which means it landed on my head."

"The case went unsolved, and as a result, I only received a ’C-minus’ on my performance review at the end of last year. Barring a personal decree from the Emperor, I can’t be promoted for three years."

"The disappearances started again this past half-month, and I’ve been tearing my hair out over it. But thankfully, Lord Pingyang, you’ve cracked the case. Otherwise, I would have taken the fall for it again. Allow me to toast you with this tea in place of wine for now. We can drink to our hearts’ content at noon."

As his voice fell, he solemnly raised his teacup.

"You’re too kind, Hundred Households Commander Zhou." Pei Shaoqing also took a sip. After all, one couldn’t just down a cup of boiling hot tea.

After putting down his cup, he asked with great interest about the performance review. "Hundred Households Commander Zhou, I only joined the Jing’an Guard this year, so there are many things I don’t understand. For example, this review—when is it usually held, and who conducts it?"

"It usually starts in January of the following year. The main points of evaluation are how many cases were reported over the past year and how many were solved, whether there were any miscarriages of justice, and so on."

"They also investigate instances of corruption, bribery, and abuse of power. The South Town is responsible for this. They have a strict quota every year for how many people they must investigate and punish. So, the end of the year is both an assessment of the North Town and a test for the South Town." Zhou Li said this with what seemed like lingering fear.

The Southern Garrison Command is smaller in scale than the Northern Garrison Command.

They don’t have Thousand Households or Hundred Households out in the provinces; their only headquarters is in the Capital City. Every year, as the end approaches, they fan out from the Capital City to destinations all over the country to put the Northern Garrison Jing’an Guard through the wringer.

’Normally, nobody cares what the Jing’an Guard gets up to.’

’But at the end of the year, someone always comes to clean house.’

Pei Shaoqing clicked his tongue. "In the past, back in the Capital City, I never paid them much mind. But it seems this year I’ll also get a taste of how formidable the Southern Garrison Command’s Government Office can be."

"Lord Pingyang, you have no need to worry. How could they be so blind as to cause trouble for you? That pack of dogs knows how to pick their targets. Every year, they leave the capital and return with their pockets full," Zhou Li said through gritted teeth.

’Hearing this, Pei Shaoqing understood. The South Town was actually quite similar to the North Town. Their professional skills were solid and they were powerful, but they also had no shortage of corrupt officials and parasites.’

’Just as Zhou Li said.’

’With his status, he really had no need to worry.’

...

「At noon,」 Zhou Li prepared a banquet at the best restaurant in Bazhou to host Pei Shaoqing and his group. However, Pei Shaoqing didn’t drink much, using the excuse that he had to interrogate Tian Erni in the afternoon.

Seeing this, Zhou Li also took the initiative to call on everyone to drink in moderation and not get drunk, encouraging them to eat more instead.

After the meal, just as Zhou Li had arranged for Pei Shaoqing to rest in an office at the Hundred Households, Liu Yuheng returned.

"My lord, I’ve brought your cat."

She was holding General Li, who was clad in his Golden Armor.

’He’s so heavy!’

"Meow!" General Li leaped down.

Pei Shaoqing said, "Thank you for your trouble, madam."

Beads of sweat were visible on Liu Yuheng’s forehead and pale neck. It wasn’t from exhaustion, but from the heat.

"It’s no trouble to do things for you, Young Master." Liu Yuheng lowered her head, pursed her lips, and answered respectfully.

Pei Shaoqing waved his hand. "You may go."

Liu Yuheng stood up, left, and closed the door behind her.

Pei Shaoqing walked to the door, opened it a crack, and watched her walk away before closing it again.

"My lord! For what reason did you send someone all this way to summon this old servant out of retirement?" General Li said, speaking in a human voice.

Pei Shaoqing said, "I need your help interrogating an idiot who’s been tricked silly by a Fox Demon. Here’s what you’ll do..."

General Li’s big eyes blinked as he nodded repeatedly.