Chapter 89: Granny Wang’s Matchmaking - KLF Takes the Stage

Chapter 89: Chapter 89: Granny Wang’s Matchmaking - KLF Takes the Stage

"It’s actually pretty empty usually. The planning here is flawed. They renovated the old town, but space is limited. A lot of people drive over but have nowhere to park. They don’t even allow electric scooters to park here, which makes everyone complain. Over time, only people living nearby are willing to come," Liang City pointed at the surroundings and explained.

Chen Jingle frowned. "They really did a poor job."

Who did things like this? Even when his family built their house, they knew to reserve two parking spaces, even though he didn’t have a car yet. Nowadays, people definitely wouldn’t travel by walking or cycling. The number of cars owned in Jiangbei was already a rather exaggerated figure, and the same went for electric scooters used daily. They wanted to copy others and create a tourist food street, but they didn’t even have a place to park. Wasn’t that a joke? There were simply too many things to complain about.

After taking just a few steps, Liang City stopped. "Here, this is the place."

Fatty’s Goose Rice? He had never heard of it.

"We still have to line up?" Chen Jingle frowned. Aside from the university cafeteria, he had never eaten a meal that required waiting in line. When he was hungry, he couldn’t stand lining up for half an hour or an hour. No matter how delicious the food was, he didn’t want to wait; it wasn’t like this was the only restaurant in town.

Liang City took a look. "There are only three people ahead of us. It’s fine."

Alright, then they would wait a bit.

Chen Jingle took the opportunity to observe the surroundings and the passing pedestrians. How should he put it? If it was this lively every day, the renovation could be considered a success. But if they had to rely on program performances to attract this much foot traffic, it was hard to judge. He would just have to wait and see. As a Jiangbei person, although he sometimes had a lot of complaints about the city’s construction—feeling that this was wrong and that was lacking—deep down, he still hoped that his hometown would be built better and better.

A while later, after waiting in line, it was their turn.

Liang City took charge of ordering. "We’ll have a portion of roast goose, a portion of boiled goose, and two bowls of goose rice. What else do you want to add?" he asked Chen Jingle.

Chen Jingle said, "Let’s add some greens. Eating just meat is a bit greasy."

Lingnan people were used to adding a vegetable dish to their meals; it was a dietary habit. Otherwise, something always felt missing.

"Alright, how about sweet potato leaves?"

"That works."

Chen Jingle glanced at the menu on the wall. It wasn’t cheap; now that the renovation here was complete, the prices had risen accordingly. Besides, when eating at a place like this, one shouldn’t expect much in terms of environment and service, as long as the taste was passable.

Eating with a bro was just like this. Roadside stalls, food carts, remote farmhouses, or grand hotels—anything was fine. But eating with a girl meant having to consider this and that. If you didn’t pick the right place, from the moment you sat down, the person across from you would already be mentally drafting a long essay to complain, ready to expose you on their Friends Circle or online at any minute. How troublesome.

Commendably, the restaurant served food quite fast. The geese were already cooked and hanging there, so they just needed to be chopped up, and the kitchen was quick with the water spinach too.

"How’s the taste?" Liang City asked.

"The quality of the goose meat is decent. I personally think the fat-to-meat ratio is just right; I wouldn’t like it if it were too fatty. The roast goose cooking method is a bit different from the Cantonese style. It’s partly due to the breed and partly the roasting technique, though they definitely poured crispy skin water over it. The boiled goose tastes a bit mediocre—it’s overcooked, there are too few seasoning options, and the peanut oil isn’t fragrant. The goose rice is also just so-so. It’s a bit cold, not very aromatic, and there’s so much oil in it that the US military would want to invade."

Chen Jingle didn’t really think highly of the chef’s cooking techniques here; his critique was actually quite conservative. However, this was the basic standard for roadside eateries in Jiangbei. One just had to get used to it. The Lingnan Three Provinces could all be called major culinary provinces, but in Jiangbei, which was located at the junction of the three provinces, there wasn’t much that could be called authentic local cuisine.

How bizarre!

Liang City gave a thumbs-up. "Badass!"

Although it was recommended by a colleague, after trying it, he felt it was just so-so and not really worth recommending. Or maybe it was just because there were too many people tonight? They made do with the meal. Men weren’t very picky about food, but they definitely wouldn’t come back to this place again.

For some reason, Liang City suddenly thought of the sauce-meat buns Chen Jingle had made. He said, "If you opened a shop here selling just sauce-meat or braised pork rice based on your bun recipe, your business would definitely be better than his."

Chen Jingle thought about it. "Forget it, the food and beverage industry is exhausting. Making food for a few people is fine, but cooking for hundreds of people every day would probably work me to death."

The restaurant business was profitable, but being a chef was tough work. If Chen Jingle were to do it, he would most likely have to cook everything himself. It was hard for an ordinary small shop to hire a top-tier chef; anyone with real skills usually went to major hotels and restaurants and would never settle for a tiny diner. Generally, only husband-and-wife teams could make money, like the Fulong Restaurant. He had now found a more profitable path than the restaurant business. Although he didn’t know how long it would last, it was better than waking up at the crack of dawn and inhaling cooking fumes in the kitchen every day.

Liang City expressed his regret. He had been hoping that Chen Jingle would grow a business and turn it into a recommended culinary landmark in Jiangbei. Like Chen Jingle, he felt that the current dining options in Jiangbei were truly nothing to write home about.

Once they had eaten their fill, Liang City went to settle the bill.

Chen Jingle glanced at the receipt and clicked his tongue. This perfectly illustrated what it meant to have Tier-1 city prices in a Tier-5 city. Meanwhile, he bought two hand-shaken lemon teas at the door. The goose rice from earlier had been a bit dry. Even after having two bottles of soda with the meal, he still felt thirsty. He seriously suspected the restaurant owner had done that on purpose.

The two of them slurped their lemon teas and wandered aimlessly with the flow of the crowd. There wasn’t actually much to see. From start to finish, the entire street was less than 300 meters long. Both sides featured renovated buildings, which would only seem novel to the citizens of a small city like Jiangbei that genuinely had no tourist attractions. Compared to the architecture, Chen Jingle paid more attention to the store signs and the people. Observing all walks of life was a very interesting pastime. In a sense, it was also a form of social investigation practice.

However, before reaching the end of the street, they were blocked by a dense crowd.

"What’s going on here?" Liang City asked curiously. His nearsightedness was even worse than Chen Jingle’s, and he hadn’t brought his glasses out. Plus, from a distance, he could only see a stage up ahead.

Chen Jingle laughed and said, "It seems to be a Granny Wang matchmaking show organized by the government."

"Damn!" Liang City couldn’t help but laugh.

Ever since that Granny Wang went viral on ShakeHand, Granny Wangs had been popping up all over the country, and Jiangbei was copying them to join the hype. There used to be a fixed one at the entrance of Baida Square every Saturday night; they hadn’t expected it to move over here today. The stage was a bit small, but it was highly entertaining to watch. The two walked forward to find a spot closer to the stage. This guy Liang City wanted to watch the spectacle.

"Look, a beauty just went up!"

Chen Jingle was looking around when Liang City tugged at him. He saw a long-haired girl in a dark red long-sleeved shirt walking up to the stage. She looked decent—quite pretty, actually. To the general public, she would already be considered a beauty.

Sure enough, as soon as the beauty stepped onto the stage, the audience immediately erupted into cheers. Down below, over a dozen live-streaming selfie sticks and cameras were held high, making the girl feel a bit embarrassed.

Chen Jingle felt a bit daunted looking at those live-streaming selfie sticks. He still couldn’t understand how people could be so brave as to ignore the gazes of everyone around them and loudly spout live-streaming jargon on the street. Weren’t they embarrassed? Not to mention the people who live-streamed themselves dancing on the street, attracting onlookers. Just thinking about it made his scalp tingle. Ugh. Well, those people deserved to make that money.

By this time, Granny Wang was already interacting with the beauty on stage.

"What should we call you, beautiful?"

"My surname is Wang."

"How old are you this year?"

"Twenty-three."

"Oh my, so young! Are you a local?"

"No, I’m from Region R of the province."

"Are you studying or working here?"

"I studied here before, and I found a job here after graduating."

"What kind of partner are you hoping to find by coming up here?"

"Hmm, someone over 180 centimeters tall, though 175 is fine too. As long as he has proper features and no bad habits, it’s fine. I don’t have any salary requirements; as long as we can put food on the table, it’s okay."

The audience below erupted into another round of cheers. To be honest, her requirements really weren’t high. However, Chen Jingle didn’t meet them; he was currently only 174.9 centimeters tall, which was hilarious.

A smile appeared on Granny Wang’s face as she prepared to see if there were any suitable men she could match her with. After all, besides doing this for the show’s effect, she genuinely wanted to be a matchmaker. The girl on stage was also scanning the audience below. When her gaze swept past the outer edge of the front row, her eyes suddenly lit up.

Right at that moment, a loud shout came from the crowd.

"I’ll do it!"

Everyone’s attention was instantly drawn, and they craned their necks to find the source of the voice. They saw a guy with bleached blond hair step out from the crowd and scramble onto the stage on all fours.

Chen Jingle was dumbfounded. He thought, "Holy shit, we’re cooked. Jiangbei’s reputation is ruined in an instant!"

Liang City almost spat out his lemon tea. "Fuck!!"

That was because the guy who went up was a typical KLF. The audience below was already a mix of boos and roaring laughter, while Granny Wang and Mei, the young beauty surnamed Wang, on the stage were equally stunned.

Well, this was...

KLF stood for Kie Lie Fie. The original meaning was a bit-part extra or a lackey, but it had now evolved into a mocking term for street punks, commonly known as hoodlums or lowlifes. Ever since dancing the "social shake" on the ShakeHand platform could earn enough clout to buy a Rolls-Royce Cullinan, it felt obvious that the previously disappearing KLFs had returned, and their ranks were rapidly expanding.

A KLF didn’t necessarily have to have blond hair, but the combination of blond hair, a tight gold shirt, tattoos, and flip-flops was highly likely to be one. Take Jiangbei, for example. If a KLF riding a loud Ghost Fire scooter saw a solitary beauty on the road, it would automatically trigger their pickup skills. First, they would whistle and say,

"Hey beautiful, are you all alone?

"Where are you going? Do you want a ride? I have a bike.

"Wanna grab some midnight snacks together?

"Let’s add WeChat and be friends. Tsk, why are you acting so aloof?

"What’s wrong? Are you in a bad mood? Let’s go get some midnight snacks. I can just chat with you.

"Don’t be shy. Come on, let’s go together.

"..."

This entire combo was enough to scare away a ghost.

Back when Chen Jingle was still working in the provincial capital, the KLFs of Jiangbei caused such a massive stir online that some colleagues would show him videos and ask, "Brother Le, I remember you’re from Jiangbei, right? Are these people from your area?"

Chen Jingle hastily distanced himself, saying that he was from the countryside and didn’t live in the city. Damn it, his Jiangbei hometown origin had almost become a stain on his life.

The guy who had just stepped onto the stage was a classic KLF. He had blond hair cut in a bowl style, wore a Wangzai armor shirt on his upper half, tight black pants on his lower half, and a pair of beat-up rubber flip-flops on his feet.