Chapter 885 - 885: 113 Years

Sarah read me Inter's 22 in a car park in Huddersfield at 20 to 9 on Saturday night, because reading a submitted list is her job and she had it on her phone before the coach doors shut.

"Asamoah is not in it. Nainggolan is."

Marcus rang 40 minutes later off the M1 with the wind of a service station behind him.

"38 million euros in June, and he has started 3 in a row for a man who does not start anybody 3 in a row. Spalletti is not bringing him to sit in a back 4."

"So what is he bringing him for?"

"Rúben," Marcus said. "He is bringing him for Rúben."

He was right. That was the match.

We slept 2 miles from the stadium on the Monday and about 400 people on the internet wanted to know why, because we are a London club playing in London. Beckenham to Wembley is 21 miles and it is the wrong 21 miles, south east to north west, across the whole thing, on a Tuesday, for an 8 o'clock kick off.

"UEFA want you there 75 minutes before and they fine you when you are not, and they do not care that it is your own ground."

"How much?"

"Enough that Steve paid for a hotel rather than find out," Sarah said. "So stop looking at me like that."

I got Wilfried Zaha in a room at that hotel at half 9 with the door shut, because on the 30th of August I told him he would hear it from me before the 18th and he could argue with me in the room.

I gave him the 6.

He read it twice.

"Newcastle away I will fight you on."

"Fight me on it in November."

"Alright." He gave it back. "The rest is right, and I am not saying that to be good about it. That is the 6 I would have picked."

"Then why did you want to see it?"

"Because I wanted it from you," he said, "and not off a sheet on a wall."

Clk.

[UEFA CHAMPIONS LEAGUE. GROUP B. MATCHDAY 1.] [CRYSTAL PALACE. FIRST APPEARANCE.] [FOUNDED 1905. 113 YEARS.]

That came up at 20 to 7 in a tunnel at Wembley. I have been reading this thing since April 2017 and it has read about 4,000 footballers for me, and it had never once told me a club was doing anything.

I put a hand flat on a breeze block wall for a second, and then Deano came round the corner with a kit skip and I moved.

At 7 o'clock I named the team.

CRYSTAL PALACE: Pope. Hakimi, Tarkowski, Sakho, Chilwell. Højbjerg, Neves, McArthur. Bowen, Benteke, Zaha.

Bench: Krul, Dann, Ward, Wan-Bissaka, Tuanzebe, Rodríguez, Grealish, Eze, Perišić, Olise, Blake, Cartwright.

Achraf Hakimi at right back, 10 weeks after he told Borussia Dortmund no, because Rebecca kept him out of Huddersfield on Saturday for exactly this. She gave me 30 minutes of Perišić and not a minute more on that hamstring, so he started on the bench, and Aaron Wan-Bissaka took his own place on it the way he takes everything, by saying nothing and going to stand next to Hakimi for 10 minutes.

That room was the loudest I have had in 15 months and none of it was football. Bowen had his shirt on an hour early. Chilwell did his boots twice. Somebody put a speaker up and somebody else turned it off and nobody said who, and Joel Ward went and sat between Cartwright and Blake at the far end and talked at them about nothing until the pair of them started moving about.

James Rodríguez sat in the corner with 1 boot on and did not put the other one on for about 12 minutes. At 10 past he leaned across and said something to Michael Olise, who is 16, and Olise laughed, and 4 lads round him stopped what they were doing and looked over.

"What did you tell him?"

"I told him the pitch is the same size," Rodríguez said.

Then Bray put the board up and the room went quiet for the first time all night.

Tk.

"They are 4-4-2 and they will sit in it. Not press. Sit."

"How deep?" Tarkowski.

"8 yards deeper than anything you have played against this season. They will let you have it in your own half for 90 minutes and they will not care."

"So we have got it and nowhere to put it," Højbjerg said.

"You have got somewhere to put it." I looked down the room. "Achraf goes. Every time, all night, and you do not come back in until Christian has moved."

Benteke had his head down over a sock.

"And me?"

"You do not chase it. You stand still and 3 men run off you."

"Every week you tell me this." He did not look up. "Every week I stand, and I stand, and nobody comes."

"Tonight 3 men come."

Zaha had his head back against the wall with his eyes shut.

"They will send 2 at me."

"All night."

"Then send 2."

"Send 2, and let it go, and let Achraf come past you on the outside." I waited until he opened his eyes. "Then the second one has to decide whether to go with him, and whatever he decides, 1 of you is free."

"And if nobody comes past me?"

"Then I have picked the wrong right back," I said, "and we both know I have not."

Ron was at the mouth of the tunnel in a club coat that did not fit him, because Steve Parish put him in the building and did not tell me he had. He had his cap in his hands.

The Holmesdale Fanatics had 400 of them in the lower tier behind the far goal and had been in there since 6. When we came up they had a banner across 14 seats that said 113 YEARS. WE NEVER STOPPED, 200 flags going and 2 drums.

Bdd. Bdd. Bdd-dd.

***

Thank you to Sir nameyelus for the support.