Chapter 100

Firewood (3)

Title) Holy Kingdom of Eldorado: Here Is What Really Happened

Eldorado had known about the Immortal King’s plan for quite some time.

The Immortal King had transformed his citizens into undead in an instant, and what happened beforehand had merely been groundwork for that plan.

We believed that they could retain at least a minimum of human dignity by dying as humans rather than undead, and therefore we had no choice but to kill them.

Many people still suffer from psychological trauma because of what happened.

Furthermore, all of these lies originated from the gallery. Therefore, from this point forward, we will designate the gallery as evil.

Please do not dare question the will of the gods. We are doing our utmost as well.

That’s roughly what I heard? These bastards are trying to declare the gallery evil again, lmao.

ㄴ That’s the Holy Kingdom for you, lol.

ㄴ They would’ve been fine if they’d just left the gallery out of it, but they just had to ruin it, lol.

ㄴ But people don’t seem to be buying all that, do they?

ㄴ Yeah, the general reaction was basically, "What the hell are you talking about?" Probably because the Holy Kingdom’s reputation is already trash.

ㄴ They’re throwing more firewood onto the flames themselves, lol.

ㄴ If that was really what happened, they would’ve said so ages ago.

ㄴ Who the hell would believe them? Lmao.

ㄴ Serves them right after constantly throwing around "the will of the gods" and acting all high and mighty.

ㄴ Breaking news. Kadir released a statement. The previous Hero chose to commit suicide.

ㄴ ??? What the hell does that mean now?

ㄴ Didn’t the previous Hero die together with the Immortal King?

ㄴ Yeah, they died together, but apparently it was basically suicide.

ㄴ Whoa... I heard the previous Hero was an incredibly good person.

ㄴ Did the Holy Kingdom pressure him? People these days say the clergy barely have any genuine faith left.

ㄴ If that’s true, there might be a riot.

ㄴ I doubt it’ll go as far as a riot. What can anyone do if they keep denying everything to the bitter end?

ㄴ It’ll be a different story if witnesses start coming forward one by one.

ㄴ Forget all that. Upvote if you’re happy the Holy Kingdom is fucked, lmao.

ㄴ Starting with me, lol.

ㄴ This is honestly so satisfying! Those bastards call everything "the will of the gods," lmao.

ㄴ The funniest part is that they tell believers the path is open to everyone, but if you’re not from the Holy Kingdom, you can’t even become a bishop, lol.

ㄴ Their discrimination against demons is especially fucking bad. They treat them like terrorists or something.

The bait I had thrown out without thinking.

The bait I had expected to die down after a single day.

It had gone beyond being discussed in the real world and transformed into a raging inferno.

The overwhelming majority of posts were cursing the Holy Kingdom.

There wasn’t a single good thing being said about it.

Title) What the hell did Eldorado ever do wrong, guys?

Did they pressure neighboring countries while claiming it was the will of the gods or something?

Did they falsely accuse innocent people of heresy and torture them to death or something?

Did clergymen enter the slums and kill people or something?

Did they admit they were too busy to pray or something?

Did they double taxes in regions where people didn’t pay enough offerings or something?

Did they declare sports to be a drug and then get Molotov cocktails thrown at them by fans or something?

Did they constantly attack the gallery only to get caught looking at porn themselves or something?

Did they pass a law preventing foreigners from rising above the rank of archbishop or something?

Did they call the common people pigs and dogs because "they’ll forget soon enough" or something?

Did they try to forcibly establish a federation to subjugate the Demon King, only to get chewed out by the Empire or something?

And on top of all that, did they fuck over the Balkan Kingdom or something?

During the Immortal King incident, did they turn refugees away because they claimed they were infected or something?

When a plague spread because of the undead, did they conduct experiments on humans or something?

Seriously, what has Eldorado ever done to deserve being mocked?

I just can’t understand it.

"Wow."

So they were just fucking awful.

Rotten all the way through.

People said stagnant water eventually rotted, but this had gone beyond rotting and turned into petroleum.

No.

Petroleum was at least useful for something.

This was just garbage.

’Every country has a dark side, but this is a bit much.’

That post alone made me immediately understand why the Holy Kingdom’s reputation was so terrible.

Especially the part about people from other countries being unable to rise above the rank of archbishop.

That was basically an open declaration that they intended to keep all the good positions for themselves.

It was blatantly unfair.

’Can a religion really become this corrupt?’

I hate gods, but I don’t hate religion or the people who believe in it.

I’m wary of extremists, sure, but some of the people who helped me when I was struggling were religious themselves.

But these people...

They seemed less like religious believers and more like rotten politicians.

Unless enough time passed for those people to die off, or a rebellion broke out like someone had suggested, it would probably be difficult for anything to change.

’People are the same everywhere.’

Even in a different world, people apparently didn’t change much.

I watched as the gallery began filling with every imaginable joke and meme before quietly closing it.

It seemed like it would take quite a while before the information I actually wanted showed up.

If all else failed, I could just ask Allfather.

’Still, declaring the gallery evil? Seriously?’

What kind of ridiculous way of handling things was that?

At least the fact that they weren’t threatening to hunt me down suggested they still had some brains.

Not that they could catch me even if they wanted to.

I was in the Forest of Four Seasons.

It was impossible.

I just had to focus on what I needed to do.

"Cough! Cough! Ugh."

I coughed from the acrid smoke.

The campfire had been too weak, so I’d added more firewood, only to overdo it.

I couldn’t exactly take the wood back out now, which left me in a bit of a predicament.

’I should start thinking about other cooking methods.’

Grilling directly over a fire, cooking food on a cast-iron pan over an open flame, and so on.

Those methods alone were enough to keep me fed, but they had a drawback.

The fish that made up my staple diet were simply too damn big.

Even excluding the head, merely flipping one over was a chore.

Because of that, parts would sometimes burn while others remained undercooked.

The results were inconsistent.

’Would an oven be better for something like this?’

If I had a masonry oven—an actual oven—I could minimize burnt or undercooked portions.

It would also have the advantage of letting me do other things while the food cooked.

Now that I had decided to live here for a long time, an oven was practically a necessity.

’I should try making one.’

Asking the entire gallery seemed unnecessary when there was one regular in particular who was perfect for the job.

Conveniently, I could also obtain materials from him, killing two birds with one stone.

[Wild Grylls: Hey. You there?]

[Passing Dwarf: Yeah. Why?]

[Wild Grylls: You’re actually awake for once? I figured you’d be lying around half-dead from drinking.]

[Passing Dwarf: I didn’t drink much yesterday. Anyway, why’d you call me?]

[Wild Grylls: Nothing major. I’m thinking of building an oven. I’ll buy the bricks from the auction house, but I wanted to get some tips from you.]

[Passing Dwarf: Just because I’m a dwarf doesn’t mean I know how to make everything ;; I specialize in metallurgy, you idiot.]

[Wild Grylls: Aren’t all dwarves supposed to be good with their hands?]

[Passing Dwarf: That’s separate from actually having expertise. I can get you a metal plate to use in the oven, though, so let me know.]

[Wild Grylls: Make it big enough to fit a whole fish easily. You know how big they are, right?]

[Passing Dwarf: I’ll make it lol. Give me a piece next time you cook one in the oven.]

[Wild Grylls: Lol. Oh, right. Give me the barricade too.]

[Passing Dwarf: Forgot about that. I’ll send it when I give you the metal plate.]

In that case, I should get everything ready before the dwarf sent it over.

I’d woken up at six this morning. I’d spent thirty minutes on the gallery.

I usually ate breakfast around seven or seven-thirty, so I could work on the oven until then.

If it proved too difficult to finish, I could just cook breakfast on the griddle like usual.

No problem there.

Splash! Splash!

There were three fish in the trap today.

It seemed like I caught three whenever I checked after waking up, and two at other times.

’There won’t be another long-arm octopus, right?’

Even if it wasn’t a long-arm octopus, I intended to immediately go on guard if I saw any other creature.

Fortunately, there was nothing inside besides the fish.

Humming to myself, I carried the trap full of fish back down.

Rustle!

Then I heard something moving through the bushes.

The moment I heard it, I immediately adjusted my grip on my weapon and went on alert.

After everything I’d been through, the reaction came naturally.

But all I continued to hear was rustling.

I gradually lowered my guard while staring in the direction the sound had come from.

’It’s coming from a little higher up rather than down below... A bird?’

But even if it was a bird, I couldn’t hear any wings flapping.

Puzzled, I returned to the cave.

Nothing else happened on the way back.

Splash! Splash!

Supply was gradually starting to exceed demand.

It looked like I needed to buy a larger steel drum.

Unless it rained again, if I didn’t have a container large enough to keep the fish alive, they would all end up rotting.

’This is a problem in its own way.’

The fish were too big.

Back when I was short on food, their enormous size had been a huge advantage.

But now that my food supply was relatively secure, I was gradually starting to see the drawbacks.

Even so, being able to eat my fill at every meal was too big an advantage to give up.

’It’s not like I can just stop collecting food, either.’

I had no idea when or how my food supply might run short, so it was better to keep stockpiling it just in case.

I watched the fish swimming comfortably inside the steel drum for a moment before moving on.

Breakfast was approaching, so I figured I should at least get some work done on the oven.

’But where should I put the oven?’

I suddenly ran into an unexpected problem.

Where would be the best place to install it?

If I built it inside the cave, I’d have to deal with the limited space and smoke.

If I built it outside, the weather would become a problem.

After thinking it over for a while, I decided to build it right against the cave entrance.

Of course, I didn’t forget to account for rain in the design.

’Once the oven is finished, I’ll put a waterproof tarp over it. I can angle the tarp so the rainwater runs toward the drainage ditch.’

If I wanted to put an entire fish inside, the oven would have to be quite large.

I opened the auction house and checked whether there were bricks of a suitable size.

Perhaps because bricks had been used since ancient times, there was quite a wide variety available.

’First, I need to level the ground.’

Apparently, even building a single oven required all sorts of preliminary work.

It looked like I’d have to settle for my usual breakfast today.

’I’ll just get the materials ready and call it there.’

A pile of bricks.

A waterproof tarp.

Poles to secure the tarp.

And so on.

I piled the necessary materials near the cave entrance and prepared breakfast.

Wonmo happened to wake up around then as well.

’I could put this metal plate inside the oven too.’

I had fish for breakfast as usual, then immediately began building the oven.

First, I leveled the ground as much as possible.

Then, taking the size of the fish into consideration, I began stacking the bricks one by one.

The important part was the chimney that would let the smoke escape.

I wasn’t trying to smoke the fish, so I made a proper passage for the smoke to vent through.

I designed it so the smoke could escape while minimizing the amount of rain that could get inside.

’And then... what did an oven look like again?’

Every now and then, I logged into the gallery to check what an oven’s structure was supposed to look like.

There were ovens available in the auction house, but they were expensive, and I had no idea whether any of them were large enough for what I wanted.

Besides, a rectangular shape with sharp corners suited my needs better than a round one.

It was easier to build too.

’Considering the size of the fish, I should make it pretty long.’

It didn’t need much height.

What it needed was depth.

Taking all of that into account, I even built a chimney at the very top.

Very nice.

’Perfect.’

I’d also bought the stone slab I installed inside from the auction house, so there was nothing to worry about there.

But I wasn’t completely finished yet.

I still needed the thing I’d asked the dwarf for.

He had said he would make it for me, but it seemed like I should measure the dimensions myself.

[Wild Grylls: (Photo of the entire oven) (Photo of the oven entrance being measured with a tape measure) This should be enough, right?]

[Passing Dwarf: You made it pretty neatly. Smear mud into the gaps between those bricks. That’ll keep the heat from leaking out and let the temperature rise better.]

[Wild Grylls: Nice tip. Thanks.]

Following the dwarf’s advice, I gathered some soil from the surrounding area and turned it into mud.

It felt a little dirty, but for the sake of the oven, I could put up with anything.

"Kkyuu?"

"Daddy’s working."

Wonmo came over beside me, but I remained focused on building the oven.

Apparently curious about what I was doing, Wonmo plopped himself down and watched.

He was so adorable that I nearly scooped him up into a hug, but I somehow managed to restrain myself.

Only after I had finished applying all the mud was the job finally done.

Technically, I still needed to install the waterproof tarp before it was truly complete, but I could take my time with that.

"Perfect. Absolutely perfect."

Looking at the completed oven brought a smile to my face.

Now I could post it on the gallery and show it off.

And when I opened the gallery—

[Eldorado Announces It Will Capture the Person Who Spread False Information Lmaooo]

A line I couldn’t simply ignore caught my eye.

For the record, it was a trending post.

Wondering what kind of idiots had said something like that, I opened it.

It could have just been bait or some baseless rumor, so I had to check.

Title) Eldorado Announces It Will Capture the Person Who Spread False Information Lmaooo

When they were asked how they planned to catch him, they said they’d do it through amicable discussions with the administrator.

But apparently the reporter uses the gallery too, because when they pointed out that Grylls is in the Forest of Four Seasons, Eldorado said it didn’t matter, lmao.

Even crazier, they apparently formed an entire tracking party just to capture Grylls, lmaooo.

What?

Are they going to supply me with survivors in the Forest of Four Seasons just for my sake?