Chapter 146

Spring (1)

I didn’t put the virility mushroom Papa Raccoon had given me up for sale at the auction house.

It wasn’t that I distrusted him.

I simply thought I needed an expert’s opinion to determine whether the mushroom really had the effect he claimed and whether it was safe for humans.

After all, this was a mushroom we were talking about.

’I should ask the Starlight Princess.’

The All-Father was currently busy and rarely accessed the gallery, so he was out.

That left only the Starlight Princess. Come to think of it, hadn’t I asked her to analyze a mushroom before?

[Wild Grylls: Starlight Princess, may I ask you a favor?]

[Starlight Princess: Of course. What is it?]

[Wild Grylls: Papa Raccoon gave me a mushroom. Apparently, it’s good for virility, so I think it needs to be verified. I wouldn’t be as concerned if it were something else, but the fact that it’s a mushroom worries me.]

[Starlight Princess: All right. If it were a medicinal herb, I would need the whole thing, but since it’s a mushroom, you only need to send me a small piece.]

[Wild Grylls: Understood. By the way, what did you discover about the mushroom I sent you last time?]

[Starlight Princess: I forgot to tell you! It was poisonous. It contained all sorts of substances harmful to humans.]

[Wild Grylls: I see. Thank you.]

As expected, mushrooms that openly advertised, Do not eat me, were dangerous.

The same applied even to ordinary-looking ones. It was probably better not to eat mushrooms at all.

[Starlight Princess: Mushrooms spoil quickly. You can preserve it by freezing, but... are you planning to eat it?]

[Wild Grylls: Even if I ate it, I’d have no opportunity to use its effects. I was planning to sell it.]

[Starlight Princess: I see. I’ll examine it as quickly as possible!]

[Starlight Princess: If its effects are genuine, I recommend either selling or consuming it immediately.]

[Wild Grylls: Why?]

I had nearly gotten into serious trouble after eating eel before, so I thought it would be best to stay as far away from aphrodisiacs as possible.

It might be fine for people outside, but I had no way of predicting what would happen if I ate this mushroom.

Besides, even if Papa Raccoon had personally experienced its effects, there was no guarantee it would affect humans in the same way.

’Still, he went to the trouble of giving it to me...’

For now, I decided to roast the snake.

I ate the cooked snake together with the raccoon family.

It was my first time eating snake, but it was surprisingly palatable.

Its texture was unexpectedly pleasant, and it tasted similar to chicken.

It had a fishy odor that I hadn’t even noticed in actual fish, but I covered that with salt.

"Keng!"

"Kiing! King!"

"Kkiing."

The raccoon family also seemed pleased when I sprinkled salt over their snake meat.

They alternated between salted and unsalted pieces before eventually eating only the salted ones with enthusiasm.

They had probably never sprinkled salt directly onto their food before.

It was also my way of showing them what they could enjoy if they continued helping me.

The raccoon family seemed to understand, because they began holding out pieces of meat and asking me to sprinkle more salt on them.

They were unbelievably adorable.

I filled my stomach with snake meat for lunch.

[Starlight Princess: Yes. I don’t know who the wife of the man who consumes it will be, but she’ll certainly be happy.]

I gave a bitter smile.

Whoever that man was, I envied him.

Not because he could eat something like this, but because he had someone beside him.

No matter how effective the mushroom was, didn’t you ultimately need someone with whom to share those effects?

I buried my bitterness and thanked the Starlight Princess.

Then I contacted the gallery member I had in mind.

[Starlight Princess: Mr. Grylls, the test results are ready.]

[Wild Grylls: How is it?]

[Starlight Princess: That raccoon really does seem remarkably capable. The mushroom contains many substances that would greatly benefit a man, and it has no toxicity whatsoever.]

[Wild Grylls: So it’s safe to sell?]

[Praise the Sun: You said you had something for me?]

[Wild Grylls: Yes. You were the only person I could think of giving it to.]

[Praise the Sun: It sounds like something edible. Did you ask that dwarf about it? Is he planning to soak it in alcohol again?]

[Wild Grylls: I didn’t ask him because I suspected he would do exactly that.]

[Praise the Sun: Just give it to the dwarf. You’ve already given me plenty.]

[Wild Grylls: It’s been verified as extremely beneficial for men.]

[Praise the Sun: How much do you want for it?]

His country had been established in a desert, much like the Middle East on Earth.

Based on the information I had picked up from the gallery, its culture and general social tendencies also appeared similar to those of the Middle East.

Praise the Sun was obsessed with anything beneficial to his health.

In particular, if something was said to be good for men, he would accept it without hesitation.

[Praise the Sun: Thanks. Let me know if you ever need anything.]

[Wild Grylls: Oh. May I ask for something now?]

[Praise the Sun: Name it.]

[Wild Grylls: You live in a desert, correct?]

[Praise the Sun: I do. Why?]

[Wild Grylls: Do sandstorms occur frequently there?]

Setan—the nation of the dark elves and the wealthy.

[Praise the Sun: Between spring and summer, I suppose? That’s usually when most of them occur. Do you think one might hit your area too?]

[Wild Grylls: I don’t know. That’s why I wanted to ask if you have any clothing or advice that would be useful during a sandstorm.]

[Praise the Sun: We have masks that are effective against sandstorms. Still, the best option is to avoid going outside.]

[Wild Grylls: One could arrive unexpectedly, so I’d like to prepare just in case.]

[Praise the Sun: That makes sense. How many do you want?]

[Wild Grylls: Six in total. Please make one adult-sized and the remaining five smaller.]

[Praise the Sun: Are you planning to put them on your animal friends? Honestly, I don’t think they’ll need them.]

[Wild Grylls: Why not?]

[Praise the Sun: They’ve lived there their entire lives. The masks might only make them uncomfortable. Have you ever seen those videos of dogs being made to wear shoes?]

That was an extremely fitting comparison. I had seen those videos too.

The dogs felt so uncomfortable that all four of their legs moved awkwardly in different directions.

Dogs had paw pads in the first place, so they didn’t need shoes.

The same probably applied to the animals inhabiting the Forest of Four Seasons.

Just as Wonmo had prepared for hibernation in advance, they would quickly respond to any unexpected environmental changes.

’Besides, I have the Swift Sloth.’

Wonmo’s warning signs and the Swift Sloth’s advance warnings should give me enough time to prepare.

I received a mask for protection against yellow dust from Praise the Sun.

Perhaps it was also designed to protect against the desert’s intense sunlight, because the mask was pure white.

’I don’t know whether yellow dust will actually come, though.’

Even if it didn’t happen in spring, a sandstorm could occur during another season.

I had witnessed the terrain and environment across the river changing in real time.

In the worst-case scenario, a sandstorm from the opposite bank might cross the river and reach us.

’Surely the volcano won’t erupt when that area turns volcanic, right?’

If it did, I could die instantly without even understanding what was happening.

The thought was rather frightening.

Still, the ancient traces inside this cave suggested that such events were exceedingly rare.

I spent the day thoroughly preparing for the approaching change of season.

"Kyuu..."

"Oh! Wonmo, are you awake?"

Wonmo, who had been hibernating, finally woke up as well. His half-asleep expression was incredibly adorable.

He had grown so thin during his brief hibernation that I missed his former plump appearance.

So I immediately gave him something to eat. There was still some snake meat left.

I wanted to buy him a huge piece of meat from the auction house, but he had only just awakened.

If I gave him something too large right away, he might get indigestion, so I started him with a light meal.

"Nom, nom. Nom."

"Is it good?"

"Kyu!"

After eating the snake meat, Wonmo began regaining his energy.

I hugged him for the first time in ages and rolled around with him. That alone filled my heart with warmth.

"Wonmo, I’m going to introduce you to our neighbors."

"Kyu?"

After rolling around together for a while, I decided to introduce him to the raccoon family.

Although it was still chilly, the weather was gradually warming.

Perhaps because of that, Wonmo shivered slightly but didn’t retreat into the cave.

"Okay, say hello. This is the raccoon family. This is Papa Raccoon, this is Mama Raccoon, and this is Baby Raccoon."

"Kyuu?"

"K-Keng!"

"Kkiing..."

"..."

Despite my friendly introduction, their reactions couldn’t have been more different.

Wonmo tilted his head in innocent curiosity, while the raccoon family trembled in fear.

Papa Raccoon at least managed to force out a greeting, but the other two couldn’t.

No matter how young Wonmo was, he was still an owlbear—a predator whose adorable appearance concealed a ferocious nature.

The raccoon family had been terrified of a mere snake. It was only natural that they would fear him.

’I just hope he doesn’t recognize them as food.’

Was that even possible?

If Wonmo perceived them as prey and attacked, I planned to stop him immediately.

I would feel terrible for the raccoon family, but I would have no choice but to make them move somewhere else.

It would be an unavoidable decision if we wanted to coexist.

And so, after they finished greeting one another—

"Kyuuu! Kyuu!"

"Kkiing! Kking!"

Wonmo ran excitedly around the yard with Baby Raccoon riding on his back.

Forget food—he seemed delighted simply because he had made a new "friend," and a bright smile covered his face.

Baby Raccoon had been afraid while first climbing onto Wonmo’s back, but quickly adapted.

’Hmm. Excellent.’

As long as I kept Wonmo well-fed, a catastrophe probably wouldn’t occur.

Now that I had finished introducing the neighbors, I accessed the gallery and uploaded a post.

I couldn’t keep something this adorable all to myself.

Title: Wonmo woke up

Wild Grylls

(Video of Wonmo running around with Baby Raccoon riding on his back)

He’s already playing nicely with our neighbor. Looks like they’ll get along well from now on, haha.

└ Heavenly Demon: The sight brings peace to one’s heart.

└ Cheonggu Princess: They’re so adorable, haha.

└ Starlight Princess: I wish the gallery contained nothing but heartwarming posts like this.

└ Don’t worry. If there’s an emergency, that raccoon will be roasted alive, lol.

└ It’s emergency food, lololol.

└ Starlight Princess: You people are truly pieces of garbage.

There were occasional jokes about emergency food, but most people found Wonmo and Baby Raccoon adorable.

Satisfied, I checked the time. There was still plenty of time before evening.

[What the hell did Kadir say?]

[Fuck, this topic’s about to blow up again, lololol.]

[But if the Mage King went that far, doesn’t that mean this is seriously bad?]

[The Holy Kingdom really seems screwed;;]

[Quick summary]

While checking the time, I browsed the gallery to see if anything interesting had happened.

I noticed people discussing Kadir, so I opened the trending posts. The gallery was in flames.

’Why is Kadir being mentioned?’

Kadir, the Mage King, was a celebrity frequently mentioned in the gallery.

Moreover, hadn’t NecromancyIsLove recently spoken to me about him?

Since he had become the gallery’s latest hot topic, I naturally grew curious.

Title: Fuck, this topic’s about to blow up again, lololol

Kadir even issued an official statement. What happens if the Holy Kingdom keeps acting like this?

└ What did he say?

└ Kadir personally confronted the Pope. Then he got pissed off and secretly broadcast the entire meeting record, lololol.

└ ??? Is that even possible inside the Vatican?

└ He’s the Mage King;;

└ It isn’t that the Vatican is worthless. Kadir is just absurdly powerful.

Title: Quick summary

Kadir: Confess your sins to your god before it’s too late.

Vatican: Fuck off. We’ll handle it ourselves.

Kadir: The ones you should be looking toward aren’t your god, but the people of the Holy Kingdom.

Vatican: The commoners are livestock. Deal with it.

└ Did they really say that?

└ Of course not, lololol.

└ The livestock remark was pretty close, though, lol.

└ This isn’t going to turn into a civil war, is it?

└ Hard to say since there’s no one to rally around. If only the Hero were there...

Title: Outside the Vatican right now

(Video of a protest)

(Video of protesters shouting curses)

(Video of protesters throwing stones)

(Video of the Holy Knights blocking their path)

(Video of a bard playing an instrument to bolster the protesters’ morale)

└ Forget everything else—what the fuck is that bard doing? Lololol.

└ This perfectly demonstrates why an adventuring party needs a bard, lol.

└ Wow, the bard’s music completely changes the atmosphere, lololol.

└ Just watching it fills me with strength, lololol.

Apparently, Kadir had thrown another log onto the fire.

The Holy Kingdom had already been in turmoil over the Ludwig incident, and now the meeting records had been exposed as well.

’Livestock, huh...’

Apparently, no matter where you went, there were always people who regarded their own citizens as livestock.

I chuckled and closed the gallery.

It would probably be best to stay away from it for a while.

’I wonder if things will have settled down by the time I escape.’

Or perhaps the entire Holy Kingdom would be burning by then.

I had no way of knowing.

After closing the gallery, I turned toward the yard.

"Kyuuung!"

"Kkiiiiiing!"

Wonmo was repeatedly throwing Baby Raccoon into the air and catching him.

To Wonmo, it was merely "fun." From Baby Raccoon’s perspective, however, it must have felt like facing "death" itself.

Papa and Mama Raccoon appeared to be pleading with Wonmo to stop, but their efforts were meaningless.

"Hey! Park Wonmo! You can’t do that!"

I hurriedly stopped him.

We still had a long way to go.

***

"Prrr."

"..."

Ludwig was still riding atop the giraffe.

He stared blankly down at the animal blocking his path.

"Prrrr."

"Neigh."

The creature standing before him was none other than a horse.

More specifically, it was a horse covered in black and white stripes—a so-called zebra.

A Holy Knight riding a giraffe, confronted by a zebra blocking his way.

It was truly a bizarre standoff.

’It appears to be dangerous. To have such conspicuous tattoos in the middle of the grasslands...’

Tap, tap—

Ludwig lightly nudged the giraffe’s sides with his legs.

The giraffe obediently began walking.

Ludwig’s bizarre adventure was still ongoing.