Chapter 81

Rain (4)

The first thing I did after my trade restriction was lifted was give the fixed-nickname users a small bribe—no, a gift.

Though calling it a gift was generous. All I could really give them were pieces of fish skewered onto chopsticks.

The fish was so huge that even after sharing it like this, there was still plenty left for me to eat.

[Wild Grylls: How does it taste?]

[Heavenly Demon: It is truly excellent. A delicacy among delicacies. Of all the foods this lady has eaten, this may be the finest.]

[Wild Grylls: That’s too much praise. I’m really glad you liked it, hehe.]

[Heavenly Demon: It is no exaggeration. To think such flavor can be produced with such a simple method. This lady wonders what it would taste like if properly prepared.]

[Wild Grylls: I’ll make some for you later when I have the time. When I have the time.]

[Heavenly Demon: Who knows how long such leisure will last? This lady is fine.]

Naturally, Heavenly Demon gave it glowing praise.

This woman would probably happily accept anything I gave her.

Still, hearing such kind words made me feel good.

[SwordMaster: It tastes like meat even though it’s fish? I’m jealous that you get to eat this every day.]

[Wild Grylls: Want to come here?]

[SwordMaster: But my mom’s cooking is still the best.]

[Wild Grylls: It’s been a long time since I ate my mom’s cooking, so I wouldn’t really know.]

[SwordMaster: Ah;; I’m sorry. I’m seriously sorry.]

[Wild Grylls: I’m kidding, haha. Still, I guess it really does taste good.]

SwordMaster praised it too.

I felt strangely proud.

All I’d done was season it with salt and grill it, yet even such a simple method produced an excellent taste.

[Passing Dwarf: Hey. Give me more. That’s not enough to go with my booze.]

[Wild Grylls: You shameless bastard.]

[Passing Dwarf: Jush gimme one moar.]

[Wild Grylls: I can smell the alcohol through your messages. Go to sleep;;]

As for the dwarf... he just kept saying shameless things.

Judging by the way he was typing, he seemed drunk too.

Apparently, even he had no intention of squeezing blood from a stone, because he stopped asking after that.

Aside from him, I shared a little with Starlight Princess, Cheonggu Princess, Allfather, Praise the Sun, and the others.

I gave some to each of the fixed-nickname users who had shown me kindness.

Most of them praised it, which made me feel proud too.

Lastly, I gave some to the Moderator.

And with that, my little giveaway event(?) came to an end.

’Come to think of it, the Moderator really does seem to be religious.’

I’d had a brief conversation with the Moderator earlier, and she asked whether I’d ever considered believing in a god.

It felt a little like being preached to, which made me uncomfortable, but she didn’t push any further, so I didn’t say anything harsh.

She was simply curious about why I cursed at gods.

So I answered all her questions.

RUMBLE—!

And apparently, this was the result.

The consequence of badmouthing a god.

I couldn’t help but sigh as the rain came down even harder than before.

Looks like exploration was completely off the table today.

The weather had gotten even worse.

With thunder and lightning now added to the mix, it was almost as if someone was holding a ritual specifically to stop me from going outside.

’This is driving me crazy.’

At least I had plenty of food stockpiled.

And I’d managed to work on the drainage channel during the brief period when the rain stopped.

If I hadn’t, the moat would’ve definitely filled up with water, maybe even overflowed.

Trying to fix things after that would’ve been even harder.

’I should probably install some fencing too, just in case.’

This morning alone, the rain had driven some random raccoon into the cave.

Not only had it warmed itself by the fire, it had even tried to steal my fasting pills.

Namu-Ppareumbo had punished it for that, and it ended up becoming Wonmo’s snack, but I still needed to be careful about other animals invading.

’At least it was only a raccoon. Something else might be dangerous.’

Even raccoons weren’t necessarily harmless.

If that one had come in infected with rabies, it could’ve been dangerous.

By that logic, Namu-Ppareumbo was dangerous too, but what could I do when the guy hated taking baths?

I stared at the rain filling my entire field of vision, then shook my head.

Having an entire day wasted put me in a gloomy mood.

"Wonmo. Come here."

"Kyuu?"

So I pulled the chubby Wonmo into my arms to cure my gloom.

He was like a round ball of fur, and hugging him always made me feel calmer.

Wonmo didn’t resist and quietly let me hold him.

’When he grows up, he’ll be way bigger than me, won’t he?’

Wonmo’s mother had been sold through the auction house.

Saying she had been "sold" sounded a little strange, but technically, that was what happened.

Anyway, that owlbear had been about the size of a truck.

In other words, given enough time, Wonmo would eventually grow that big too.

’Hopefully that doesn’t happen while I’m still in this forest.’

I’d heard it took an owlbear at least three years to reach full maturity.

Considering an ordinary bear took around ten years to fully mature, that was a terrifyingly fast growth rate.

’But they eat a ridiculous amount too.’

Owlbears were animals that had basically dumped all their stats into growth and gained an enormous appetite in exchange.

Still, the Forest of Four Seasons had plenty of food, and I had a lot of money stored in the gallery too.

SHAAAAAAAAA—!!

The problem was the rain.

If it kept raining like this, survival itself could become difficult.

Not only could the river overflow, but I might run into unexpected situations like the raccoon that had invaded the cave.

Even with the fencing up, there were probably creatures here that could simply smash through something like that.

Tap-tap-tap-tap.

Like that lizard currently trying to climb over it.

Even if it wasn’t strong enough to break the fence, anything trying to climb over it deserved punishment.

"Wonmo. Want to eat that too?"

"Kyuu!"

The lizard that had tried to cross the fence became Wonmo’s snack.

The moment it started raining, every kind of animal imaginable began trying to get into my cave.

Exploration was impossible, and there was nothing else to do.

But that didn’t mean I could let my guard down.

’Sleeping... No, I should probably just circulate my internal energy cultivation method.’

When there was nothing else to do, cultivation was perfect.

It washed away fatigue too, so there was nothing better.

I was just about to sit cross-legged and begin breathing when I noticed Namu-Ppareumbo standing in front of me.

He was staring at me with that usual relaxed expression of his.

I gazed at him for a moment.

Then, suddenly, a brilliant idea came to mind.

’I think this guy understands what I’m saying. Can I teach him an internal energy cultivation method?’

People would probably hear that and think I was a fucking idiot.

Which was exactly why it was worth trying.

Besides, it would be an opportunity for Namu-Ppareumbo to get stronger too.

He was already strong, but if he became even stronger through an internal energy cultivation method?

There was no way I could pass that up.

Before that, though, I should ask the gallery.

It was worth checking.

Title) Can animals use cultivation methods too?

Wild Grylls

(Photo of Namu-Ppareumbo staring intently)

I want to try teaching this idiot an internal energy cultivation method. Can animals even do it?

He’s already faster than me, so I don’t see any downside to him getting even stronger.

└ Heavenly Demon: Sir. Surely you do not intend to teach him the cultivation method this lady taught you?

└ Wild Grylls: Even if I taught him the verses, there’s no way he’d understand them.

└ Heavenly Demon: Hmm. That is true. Still, is he not a clever creature?

└ Wild Grylls: Intelligence and wisdom are two different things, Teacher.

└ Heavenly Demon: I understand your point. Still, this lady has never heard of an animal practicing a cultivation method.

└ SwordMaster: I don’t know about mana cultivation methods, but there are similar cases. Among monsters, there are relatively intelligent species like orcs, goblins, and gnolls. I’ll exclude liches since they’re originally living humans who transformed into them.

└ Wild Grylls: They can use mana?

└ SwordMaster: Yes. Though it’s less the result of specialized training and more like a mutation. Still, the important part is that they can use mana.

└ Wild Grylls: So there aren’t any animals that can do it?

└ SwordMaster: As far as the monsters I’ve personally encountered go, no. If there were, it would’ve caused one hell of an uproar.

└ Allfather: There are historical records of attempts to teach mana cultivation methods to monkeys and apes. However, apparently not a single attempt ever succeeded.

└ Wild Grylls: So you’re saying it’s a waste of time?

└ Allfather: I cannot say for certain. As SwordMaster mentioned, a "mutation" may be different. Strictly speaking, Namu-Ppareumbo is also a mutant, so the possibility is not zero.

└ Hey. If that thing gets even stronger, won’t it kill you?

└ It’ll kill you and steal all your fasting pills.

└ I can seriously see that happening.

Why would he bother? Killing me would only be a loss for him.

That was my reaction.

Still, the last comment sounded a little ominous.

The moment I read it, I looked over at Namu-Ppareumbo.

His face practically advertised, I’m a completely harmless animal~

But hidden behind that innocent face were terrifying claws.

"Ppareumbo."

"...."

"Even if you get stronger, you’re not going to kill me, right?"

Nod—

Apparently, he understood me, because he nodded.

└ Wild Grylls: I asked him and he says he won’t kill me.

└ How the hell do you know that?

└ Wild Grylls: He nodded. I saw it.

└ That’s obviously a lie kekeke.

└ He’s saying he’s ready to stab you in the back whenever he gets the chance kekekeke.

└ You trust an animal? You’re gonna get betrayed lol.

└ Wild Grylls: He’s already stronger than me. What betrayal are you talking about;;

└ He’ll kill you once you get stronger. Isn’t that obvious?

└ Wild Grylls: Don’t insult our Ppareumbo ;;

Even if that were true, I already owed Namu-Ppareumbo my life several times over.

I’d just have to keep showering him with fasting pills so he never developed any complaints.

Anyway, I decided to try teaching Namu-Ppareumbo an internal energy cultivation method—or rather, a mana cultivation method.

Everyone seemed to agree that it was fucking stupid, but apparently that was exactly why it sounded fun.

└ SwordMaster: Why the hell are you even doing something like this;;

└ Are you a woman?

└ SwordMaster: Why are you asking that?

└ Then you wouldn’t understand lol.

└ The fact that it’s weird is exactly why he should do it!

└ Absolutely. Absolutely.

I put the gallery aside and faced Namu-Ppareumbo.

Namu-Ppareumbo simply stared at me with his usual relaxed expression, doing nothing.

"All right, Ppareumbo. Copy me."

"...."

I sat cross-legged as I spoke, and Ppareumbo slowly began changing his posture as well.

With his long arms and short legs, I’d wondered whether sitting cross-legged would even be possible for him.

Apparently, it was.

Slow as hell, he gradually folded his legs into the position.

I was surprised by how flexible he was.

And considering he didn’t topple backward, his core strength seemed pretty impressive too.

’Well, I guess he does climb trees.’

I straightened my back.

He straightened his too.

Now all that remained was breathing.

I taught him exactly what Heavenly Demon had taught me.

"All right. Now you breathe. Keep some tension in your lower abdomen while you do it, and eventually you should feel something."

"I’ll show you how."

I began circulating my internal energy cultivation method to demonstrate.

Since this wasn’t a proper cultivation session, I kept the demonstration brief.

After finishing, I opened my eyes.

Namu-Ppareumbo was still staring at me.

"Give it a try. The important things are your breathing and your lower abdomen. Got it?"

"...."

"You know where your lower abdomen is, right?"

Just in case, I carefully explained everything to him one step at a time.

Whether he truly understood me or not, he somehow managed to imitate exactly what I’d done.

It hadn’t taken me long to sense mana.

Part of that was because I’d been eating three fasting pills per meal, and the Forest of Four Seasons itself was rich in mana.

If so, maybe Namu-Ppareumbo would be able to sense mana quickly too.

With that strange expectation in mind, I waited quietly.

"...Hooo."

Only after about three minutes had passed did the bastard finally inhale.

The sight of him slowly opening his mouth looked ridiculous, but I waited patiently.

He’d inhaled, so all that remained was exhaling.

That would complete one breath.

"Hoooo...."

"Forget it."

And that completed the lifespan of my patience.

I think I finally understood why animal researchers gave up on studying sloths.

Even their ordinary movements were so unbelievably slow that watching them was maddening.

"He’s already strong even without my help anyway."

I sighed and sat cross-legged.

Rather than wait an eternity for him, I was better off cultivating on my own.

’As long as I keep feeding him fasting pills, he’ll be fine.’

With that thought, I began circulating my cultivation method.

***

While Grylls closed his eyes and focused on his internal energy cultivation—

"Hooo...."

Namu-Ppareumbo, slow though he was, continued to "breathe" very, very gradually.

"Hooooo...."

Even if it was slow enough to drive someone insane.

"Hooo...."

There was no denying that, little by little, he was making progress.