Chapter 91

Eel (2)

I may not have any use for it anymore, but my manhood is still extremely precious to me.

And I’m sure every man feels the same way.

Even those asshole buddies who’d laugh their asses off if you broke a leg—if something happened down there?

That’s the one place they’d sincerely console you about. Anyone who makes fun of that is just a bastard.

And right now, I was facing the greatest crisis a man could ever face.

Maybe it was because I ate eel yesterday, but my tent showed absolutely no signs of going down.

I wondered if eating a single eel could really do this to me, but things were different when the Forest of Four Seasons was involved.

Hadn’t I spent an entire day burning with fever just from eating a single fish before?

’Ah, please. I really don’t want to ask people about this.’

I desperately searched the gallery for anyone who had experienced symptoms similar to mine.

But I guess all guys were the same, because all I found were posts bragging about themselves.

Occasionally, there were stories from guys bawling their eyes out over kidney stones, but that was about it.

It was hard to find anything related to a problem as serious as mine.

’Should I post about it on the gallery...?’

I couldn’t help but seriously consider it.

It was a little—no, extremely embarrassing.

The gallery guaranteed anonymity, so normally I could just shamelessly go for it, but this was different.

Some of my friends were the type to stay polite even in games.

They simply couldn’t bring themselves to act shamelessly because it wasn’t in their nature. I hadn’t understood them back then.

But now that I was actually in an emergency, I couldn’t help hesitating over all sorts of things.

’No. I’ll ask Allfather first.’

Allfather was extremely knowledgeable, so he should be able to help to some extent.

Besides, he was a fellow man, so he’d probably take this seriously.

Hoping that Allfather was well versed in medicine too, I sent him a message.

[Wild Grylls: Allfather, are you there by any chance?]

[Allfather: What is it?]

Fortunately, it seemed Allfather had been hanging around the gallery.

I was relieved.

But being relieved meant nothing if I couldn’t get a solution.

Hoping for the best, I told him about my current symptoms.

[Wild Grylls: I think I’m in a somewhat dangerous... situation. Especially as a man.]

[Allfather: Don’t tell me your penis or testicles ruptured?]

Allfather casually brought up something horrifying.

If that had happened, I would’ve already departed this mortal coil.

Still, it didn’t change the fact that I felt like I was on the verge of bursting.

[Wild Grylls: It’s not that bad yet. But ever since I woke up this morning, it just won’t calm down ;;]

[Allfather: Hmm. It must be because you ate eel yesterday. And since it was an eel from the Forest of Four Seasons, that would explain it.]

[Wild Grylls: You’re sure about that, right?]

[Allfather: Yes. I woke up this morning and mine was quite... Hahaha.]

No wonder even an elixir hadn’t worked.

I’d even applied it directly there, but it hadn’t helped at all.

If anything, it had only made it sturdier.

I wouldn’t even have an excuse if someone called me a fucking idiot.

I’m being fucking serious here, goddammit.

That hollow laugh of his seemed to contain a whole lot of meaning.

Just what the hell was in that eel for it to have an effect comparable to a potent tonic?

But none of that mattered right now.

Treatment came first.

[Wild Grylls: Please tell me the explanation is going to be simple.]

[Allfather: Yes. According to my research, each sex possesses its own unique energy. In the Central Plains, they call it yin and yang, though it can also be described in medical terms.]

[Wild Grylls: This can be cured, right?]

[Allfather: Yes. But I need to explain the theory first, if that’s all right with you. It’ll make the treatment easier.]

[Wild Grylls: Is medicine not enough?]

[Allfather: Since this concerns the energy within your body, your own efforts are the most important part, Mr. Grylls.]

Was he talking about hormones?

I listened carefully to Allfather’s explanation.

[Allfather: Yang energy, in particular, tends to govern physical traits such as muscle mass, body hair, stamina, and so on. Some claim it also affects hair loss, but that has yet to be confirmed.]

[Wild Grylls: Are you saying the eel contained yang energy?]

[Allfather: Not exactly. It merely has the effect of amplifying that energy. The problem is that the place where a man’s energy gathers most easily is the groin.]

From the sound of it, this was going to be pretty difficult.

The internal energy cultivation method was training that demanded an extreme degree of concentration.

It was already starting to hurt down there, and now I had to practice the internal energy cultivation method in this condition?

This was daunting.

Allfather’s explanation was simple.

Eating the eel had caused my yang energy—in other words, my male hormones—to skyrocket.

And there was a high probability that those surging hormones had gathered in my crotch and caused this whole disaster.

It might sound completely ridiculous, but this was a fantasy world.

This was a place where things that made absolutely no sense by my standards were treated as common sense.

[Wild Grylls: So how do I cure it?]

[Allfather: Since you’ve learned an internal energy cultivation method, it should be easy. Imagine the energy gathered in your groin spreading throughout your entire body.]

[Wild Grylls: That sounds incredibly easy when you put it like that.]

[Allfather: The real question is whether you can concentrate on your internal energy cultivation method while keeping that thing erect.]

[Wild Grylls: Ah.]

[Allfather: If it proves too difficult, there are easier methods.]

[Wild Grylls: What are they?]

[Allfather: Either cut it off or relieve yourself manually. Those are your two options.]

[Wild Grylls: ;:;]

Cutting it off was absolutely out of the question.

I thanked Allfather and began practicing my internal energy cultivation method.

I had to resolve this situation somehow if I wanted to get through this crisis.

’Focus on the energy gathered in my groin, not my lower abdomen.’

Anyone who saw me right now would probably think I was a pervert.

But I was serious.

I had to prevent my pride and joy from bursting, no matter what.

Doing my best to ignore the part of me that was making its presence painfully obvious, I gathered and regulated my energy.

"Phew..."

As expected, it wasn’t easy. I could clearly feel the energy gathered in my dantian, but sensing it down there was much harder.

Still, I had to do it. I focused with everything I had.

Shaaah—

Fortunately, maybe my concentration had worked. I could feel the tightly concentrated energy gradually thinning out.

I had only just begun rejoicing when something strange happened.

"Huh? Huhhh?"

The concentrated energy began spreading throughout my body.

It was pretty alarming at first, but before long, the clump-like energy dispersed like powder.

If it had ended there, I wouldn’t have been so startled.

But a change immediately followed.

The mana flowing through my body.

Its flow hadn’t merely accelerated—it had become far more powerful.

And it wasn’t just my mana. It felt as though my overall physical abilities had been forcibly pumped up.

My heart pounded violently, and I could hold my breath far longer than before.

The sudden change left me completely bewildered.

’F-For now, just keep everything circulating.’

I had no idea what might happen if I stopped here. I maintained my concentration until the very end.

I barely managed to synchronize my long breathing cycles with the torrent of mana raging through me like a storm, gradually calming my pounding heart.

’Heaven is the supreme height to which all creation looks up...’

Just in case, I even recited the chant the Heavenly Demon had taught me.

Rather than trying to calm the storm, I imagined myself adjusting to it.

Instead of trying to "control" the energy, I managed it by "adapting" to it.

Otherwise, I felt as though the storm itself would sweep me away.

Thump! Thump! Thump—

After a while, my heart gradually settled down, and the flow of mana stabilized as well.

I regulated my breathing a few more times before ending the cultivation method and opening my eyes.

"Phew."

I shook my head.

It felt like I had become one with the storm.

What would have happened if I had chosen to control it rather than adapt?

Given my already low proficiency, there was a good chance I would have failed.

’That chant the Heavenly Demon taught me is surprisingly useful.’

Reciting it whenever I encountered a crisis had helped me tremendously.

For a moment, I wondered what the next part of the chant would be, but I decided to wait patiently.

’...It didn’t burst, did it?’

With a sense of dread, I checked inside my pants.

Fortunately, everything was still intact.

Sorry for being such a lousy owner.

Something incredibly bizarre had happened first thing in the morning, but I had gotten through it safely.

’I’m definitely not posting this on the gallery.’

It was too embarrassing.

I’d rather write it in my diary.

Now that I had also discovered the eel’s effects, it seemed worth recording.

’Whenever possible, share the eel with others. Eating too much by yourself will cause problems.’

A perfect diary entry.

Illustrations, effects, precautions—it lacked nothing.

And thus began the eventful twelfth day of my survival.

The first thing I did was post on the gallery to let everyone know I was alive.

Title) Wild Grylls Is Awake

Wild Grylls

(Photo of a completely burned-out campfire with nothing but charcoal remaining)

Day 12 starts today.

└ Heavenly Demon) You woke unusually late today.

└ Wild Grylls) Something happened this morning.

└ Heavenly Demon) Was it dangerous?

└ Wild Grylls) Personally, I’d call it the greatest crisis of my life.

└ Heavenly Demon) Still, I am glad to hear you resolved it.

└ Allfather) It seems everything worked out well.

└ Wild Grylls) Thanks to you haha ;;

└ Passing Dwarf) Hey. That eel you gave me yesterday definitely worked, kekeke.

└ Praise the Sun) Same here, kek. Been a while since I felt this confident.

└ King Leor) My wife wrung me dry first thing this morning.

└ Smart Mine) I thought it was some kind of drug, not an eel.

└ Everyone only got one piece and it affected all of you like that?

└ I guess that’s the Forest of Four Seasons for you.

└ Then what about Grylls? Grylls ate way more of it all by himself.

└ Was that "something happened this morning" because you couldn’t get it to go down?

└ LMAO, if that’s what happened, it really was a crisis, kekeke.

Apparently, I was the only victim(?).

Too much of anything was bad, and this was the result of hogging more of it for myself.

From now on, I’d share any eel I caught.

Assuming I managed to catch another one, that was.

"Do I have to start being careful about what I eat too...?"

I could ask Allfather, but ultimately, I was the one who had to deal with whatever symptoms appeared.

I sighed and got to my feet.

Time to start the day.

The first thing I needed to do was maintenance.

I had decided on it yesterday.

I wanted to turn this place into a proper shelter rather than merely a base, so I needed to work on it thoroughly.

’He said he’d give me the barricade around lunchtime, so...’

First, I needed to adjust the positions of the existing barricades.

Since I had converted the moat into a drainage ditch, the ditch now ran beneath the barricades in many places.

It would probably be better to position the barricades outside the drainage ditch altogether.

’I’m going to have to put some muscle into this.’

The barricade stood slightly taller than my eye level.

There was no way I could move it without using mana—

Scrrrape—

"Huh?"

Why was it moving?

I had only given it a light experimental push, yet the barricade slid across the ground.

Thinking the ground might be slippery, I checked, but that wasn’t it at all.

Even if it was dirt, something this heavy shouldn’t slide so easily.

’What the hell? Am I imagining things?’

Thinking it might have been my imagination, I pushed harder.

I didn’t use any mana whatsoever.

Scrrrraape!

To my surprise, the barricade moved easily.

That didn’t mean the barricade itself was light.

The marks it left scraping across the ground made that obvious.

In other words, I had become much stronger than before.

’But I was completely normal yesterday.’

Could eating a single eel really have made me this much stronger?

The eel was the only explanation that immediately came to mind.

It seemed ridiculous that eating eel could make someone this much stronger, but where was I?

The Forest of Four Seasons.

A place where I had to shrug and accept it no matter what bizarre thing happened.

I dragged the barricade around for a bit before, on a whim, grabbing its bottom edge and trying to lift it.

The barricade came up effortlessly.

’This is nice.’

I think I understand why athletes take performance-enhancing drugs.