Chapter 185: One of the Good Ones

Before I knew it, Kasia got swept up in a big hug. Kuba lifted her up from the ground and took her into his arms. He looked bigger than before. Was it possible to gain that much muscle in such a short amount of time? What had he been eating?

“I’m right here!” Bogumir complained, caught between them. “Let me go!”

Kuba stepped back, surprised. “Hey there, little buddy! Who might you be?”

“I’m not your little buddy!” Bogumir scowled. “I’m old enough to be your… significantly older brother. Maybe even your father.”

Kuba glanced at me with a puzzled look.

“That’s just Bogumir,” I said. “He likes complaining and swearing. He used to be regular-sized until he tried to kill me and I shrunk his head. When he regrew his body it matched the size of his head, which can be good or bad, depending on how you look at it.”

“You also killed my team,” Bogumir added.

“I also killed his team.”

“I see.” Kuba slowly nodded. “And…?”

“And now we’re friends and he’s part of our team.”

“Of course. Well, glad you guys are back! We fixed the place up a bit while you guys were gone.”

“Yeah, I could tell! You really did an incredible job! And those carvings, wow! Amazing! I didn’t know you were this skilled.”

I tapped Vitek on the arm. “This is Kuba. He’s a [Carpenter].”

“A [Carpenter], you say?” Vitek reached out and shook Kuba’s hand. “I’m Vitek. It’s a—”

I put my hand on Vitek’s shoulder. “Now, Vitek, I know Kuba’s a [Carpenter], but don’t hold it against him. He’s one of the good ones.”

Vitek frowned. “Hold it against him? Why would I have anything against carpenters?”

I gave him an appreciative nod for quickly catching on and pretending carpenters were just like normal people and not making a big deal out of it. Kuba had proven himself trustworthy, doubly so by making nice carvings. If only there were more carpenters like him. Unfortunately, he was probably the only exception.

I shook my head. “If only.”

“Huh?” Vitek looked confused. “Only what?”

I glanced at him with a sad smile and whispered, “Nothing.” Then I subtly nodded at Kuba. “Carpenters.”

For some reason Vitek appeared to be even more confused now. “I don’t—”

“Ahem!” a voice said behind us. When I turned around, Moryana was standing there, arms crossed. “Hello?!”

“Hi?” I waved.

“Good.” She gave a single nod. “Continue.”

“That, uh, that’s Moryana,” I said to Vitek. “She’s Kuba’s fiancée. I think.”

“Does he know she’s dead?” Vitek asked.

“Undead. But yeah, I think so.”

“Alright.” He shrugged. “You have some interesting characters here.”

An obvious and not so subtle dig at Kuba for being a [Carpenter]. I almost shushed him, but didn’t want to draw any more attention to it. Poor Kuba’s past mistakes shouldn’t have to haunt him forever, even if his past mistakes were also his current mistakes and would be his future mistakes, because he was and would always be a [Carpenter].

“He has a good heart, though,” I said.

Vitek frowned again.

“Hey! Phisto’s back!” Kuba exclaimed, pointing at the black cat who was still casually lounging on top of the altar. “I thought he might have gotten eaten.”

Phisto stared at Kuba with contempt, then turned to me. “Tell this buffoon that nothing can eat me.”

“Sure,” I said. “Hey Kuba, Phisto said that he was very scared and that he got lost because he’s weak and dumb.”

Phisto narrowed his eyes. “Bitch.”

Kuba walked over to Phisto. “That’s alright, buddy. At least you’re back and safe now.” Then Kuba tried to pet him, but Phisto bit his hand.

“Tell this—You know what,” Phisto said, shaking his head. “Don’t tell him anything. Fuck you.”

“Feels bad, huh?” I laughed. “Seriously, though? Where did you go?”

“Are you arguing with the cat again?” Kasia asked.

“Ehhh.” I waggled my hand. “Phisto is just being Phisto. I just asked him where he went.”

I leaned closer to him. "So? Where?"

He turned his head away from me and stared in the opposite direction. “I was going to tell you, but now I won’t.”

Something told me he was never planning on telling me anyway, so I dropped the subject before he dragged me into one of his games. I’d just gotten here and was still in a good mood. I didn’t need a [Purrveyor of Chaos] to ruin that. Speaking of [Purrveyor of Chaos], I was going to have to pull him aside one of these days and have a good talk about his Class and why a random cat named Pieruś, in the middle of nowhere Silesia, knew who he was. Was Phisto not from Graecia or was there more at play here? Something told me there was.

I was beginning to suspect my mother hadn’t just sent him with me for his charming personality. Mostly because he didn’t have a charming personality, but also because the more I knew about him, the less I knew about him. Another mystery on my ever-growing list of mysteries to unravel.

“I missed you too,” I told him, and I could tell that he was having a hard time not responding, but in the end he didn’t. Figures.

I shrugged. “Anyway. That’s enough about Phisto. How are you guys? What did we miss? Besides the place looking absolutely amazing, of course. Seriously, Kuba, how did you do this?”

“It wasn’t just me,” Kuba said. “Moryana and Skelly also helped. Skelly found a whole bunch of old building materials and glass panes in a shed that had miraculously survived the elements. We used that to patch everything up. There’s more, so if anything breaks again we can fix it.”

“Did you fix everything?”

“No, but we fixed a lot. There wasn’t much else to do besides fixing stuff. This level and the sleeping quarters are all good to go. I wasn’t sure if you were going to bring more people, or how many, so I just renovated all of it.” He nodded at Vitek. “Looks like you only brought one, so we have plenty of room to spare.”

“I’m right. Here,” Bogumir said, now on the floor. “Seriously?”

“Oh yeah, sorry about that! I guess I accidentally overlooked you.”

Bogumir grumbled a bit but didn’t say anything else.

“You should really prioritize getting a growth skill,” I told him. “Else this sort of thing is going to keep happening.”

“Try canceling your [Headhunter] skill again,” he demanded.

I sighed. “How many times are we going to have this conversation? I tried like twenty times already. It can’t be canceled!”

“What if I’m stuck like this forever?” He grabbed his head. “What if I will be small for the rest of my life?”

“Well, then I’m glad I’m not you. But also, I guess you’ll just have to live with it then. Make the most of it somehow. Maybe look for a transformation skill that will allow you to transform into a lion or an elephant.”

“And why the fuck would I want to transform into an elephant?”

“You might become a bit bigger? I don’t know? You could also try transforming into a sea cucumber and see if you can breathe through—”

“Hecate!” Vasil interrupted. “Please! Can we have one day without you mentioning sea cucumbers?”

“I don’t know,” I said. “Can you go one day without mentioning birds? I think not.”

“I don’t—I-I!” He raised his little hands.

“What? You pretending to be a bird now? Making bird sounds, flapping imaginary wings?”

He quickly lowered his hands and squinted at me. “No. No, I was not. I do not have a bird obsession. You have a sea cucumber obsession!”

Did I? They had been on my mind a lot after Viswa, though I would hardly call it an obsession. They were just always relevant to the conversation. That wasn’t my fault. That was just sea cucumbers being their versatile selves. They were true hidden treasures. The pearls of the ocean, if you will. Except, pearls were the pearls of the ocean, and maybe sea cucumbers were just the sea cucumbers of the ocean.

“Then what would be the sea cucumber of the land?” I wondered aloud. “Surely not the regular cucumber, for it severely lacks the versatility that makes the sea cucumber so wonderful and outstanding.”

I tapped my chin. Maybe there was no sea cucumber of the land. Maybe the sea cucumber reigned supreme across the land, air, and sea. Maybe it was an insult, trying to compare those majestic creatures to anything else. Maybe I should let sea cucumbers just be sea cucumbers.

“Just leave her,” I heard someone say far away. “She’ll get over it in a bit.”

I nodded thoughtfully. Yes. The sea cucumber was the sea cucumber of the land, air and sea. With that enigma solved, I turned back to the gang.

“What else did I miss?”