Chapter 207: The Front End

The inside of the inn immediately reminded me of The Tail End. The place was lit by the same purple orange-sized orbs that radiated unstable magic as if they could explode at any moment. Similarly to The Tail End, it was difficult to discern what color everything actually was since the orbs made everything look purplish.

That wasn’t the strange thing, though. Behind the bar was a big mirror, and out of that mirror dangled four legs. The legs were not inanimate, in fact they seemed to be alive. They were squirming like they were a bunch of worms with joints.

It was not very busy at the bar—there were maybe eight patrons in total—but those who were there did not seem to think this was cause for alarm. No one even paid any mind to it, so maybe the answer to Vitek’s question was yes? Maybe the mirror was supposed to do exactly that, and we were the fools for thinking it strange.

Kasia pulled on my sleeve to get my attention and pointed at the bar itself. I had completely missed the arm sticking out, which was now in the process of grabbing a bottle of what appeared to be vodka. The next moment the arm—including the bottle—sunk into the bar and disappeared, only to reappear in the middle of a table and refilling the shot glasses of the three men occupying it. Once again, none of them batted an eye and continued talking and laughing as if this was the most normal thing in the world.

“Huh,” I managed to say.

“What is this place?” Kasia asked.

Vitek scratched his beard, then laughed. “I see. Now it makes sense.”

“It does?” I raised an eyebrow.

The legs hopped out of the mirror and it turns out Melchior was attached to them. Two Melchiors even, from the looks of it. One Melchior for each pair of legs. The right Melchior held something in his hands that was wrapped in cloth.

“Oh,” I said. “Spatial magic. Guess that makes sense. How do you explain that there’s two of them, though? And what about the arm? Where did it go? Where is the rest of it?”

Vitek shrugged. “Why don’t you ask them?”

When we got to the bar Melchior didn’t recognize me, but he was immediately interested in me, which was probably due to me looking like Aurelia. He also didn’t seem to recognize Kasia for some reason.

“Melchior?” I asked.

“Yes?” the Melchior on the left said with a professional smile.

“You don’t recognize her?” I gestured at Kasia.

“Should I?”

“You two met at The Tail End. You also met me there, but I had a different face then, though it was obscured by an ugly mask. This was right before you gave her a note with a penis drawn on it and jumped through a portal. Not really the best directions for finding you.”

He raised his finger. “Now, now, that’s not true. The doodle was a distraction in case it fell into the wrong hands. I gave you clear directions on where to find me.”

“It wasn’t that clear.”

“You’re here, aren’t you?”

I couldn’t argue with that, though I’d still disagree that the directions were clear. They were vague at best. Clear would have been writing “Find me at The Front End in Prudnik.”

But I didn’t want to complain any more than I already had, so I pushed the thought aside. “And so are you. Two of you.”

“Oh, him? That’s my brother Dobieswav, but you can call him Dobie. No, we’re not twins. He’s two years older. We just look alike.”

I gave him a little wave. “Hi Dobie.”

“Hi, mysterious stranger,” he said with a wave back.

“You didn’t tell him about us?”

“Why would I?” Melchior said. “I wasn’t even sure you’d survive… If I can be honest, I didn’t think you would. How did you get out of there with your skin intact?” He nodded at me. “With a new skin even.” He turned to Kasia. “You look different as well, though not as much as your friend. You look healthier, stronger, more confident.”

She smiled back at him in response.

“Well,” I started, leaning in a bit.

“Oh, you don’t have to whisper,” Melchior said. “We’re all friends here. It’s safe.”

“Alright. So turns out there were eight inquisitors total and I killed all of them except one. Although I did shoot him many times, he proved quite resilient. It took some time but we became friends in the end. Actually, that was Bogumir. You know him.”

“You became friends with Bogumir?”

“Yeah, he’s actually not so bad once you get to know him. It’s a long story, don’t worry about it. Oh, and your bar burned down. Sorry. But it wasn’t my fault. That’s also a long story. Maybe I’ll explain it some other day. I’m here for a reason.”

“Ah.“ He waved me off. “My bars tend to do that from time to time. It’s expected.”

“It’s expected?”

“Yes, yes. If it isn’t some inquisitors, rowdy guests or angry customers, it’s sometimes the light orbs. They’re a little unstable, but they look nice, so I figure it’s worth it.”

“It’s worth your whole livelihood burning down?”

“It wouldn’t be if this was actually my livelihood. Bars are simply a good place to conduct business and discuss things, so I keep a couple of bars up my sleeve for just that. But I’m sure you don’t care about that. You are here for something else, and I doubt it’s just runes.”

“Yeah.” I glanced back at the people sitting and drinking. “Are you sure it’s safe?”

He nodded. “No one here has love for the Church. They are all my people.”

“Our people,” Dobie corrected.

“Fine, our people. If you tell me your plans, we might be able to help. If Jagoda thinks you’re alright, I believe it. That you managed to take on eight inquisitors by yourself kind of makes me understand what she sees in you.”

“Alright,” I said. “My plan is to enter the tournament. The Offering. And then I’m going to win it.”

“Ah.” He smiled. “And you need our help to get in.”

“No, no. I’m in. Or I will be. That’s taken care of.”

“I’m sure you have your reasons for entering it. I doubt it’s just the runeword, since it will be pretty risky, considering what you’ve done. Might I inquire what they are?”

“I do, but I’d rather not share them yet, if that’s alright. I have a plan, but I hear the competition is quite serious, so what I need is equipment. Runestones if you have them. Information on who my opponents might be. Anything, really. I can pay. I don’t mind paying.”

He hesitated and tapped the bar. “You’re asking for a lot, and I don’t even know your name. I don’t even know if you actually killed those inquisitors, or what really happened in there. I don’t even know your real face.”

“Watch this,” I said as I summoned my revolver and held it in front of him so he could see Jerzy’s burnt head dangling from the grip. “Recognize him?” I unsummoned the pistol and took out the first other totem I could find, which turned out to be Vulkan. “This proof enough?”

His eyes widened. “What did you—how did you—Why are they so small?”

I frowned. “Because why would I carry regular sized heads around? They would be way too big and heavy. Can you imagine Jerzy’s big gap-toothed head hanging from my revolver? It would severely impact my ability to aim. So I shrunk them to a more manageable size. This way I hardly even notice them.”

His eyes dropped down to the gold cord I used as a belt now and stopped on the strzyga matriarch. “Is that a strzyga?”

“Oh, yeah!” I said, angling myself so he could see it better. “A strzyga matriarch, actually.”

“You… you actually killed a strzyga?”

“I killed a lot of them. And this matriarch, too. That’s like their boss, I guess. Or their mom. Not sure how that works. She was a lot bigger than the other ones, though.”

Melchior shared an impressed glance with Dobie, then turned back to me. “I’m impressed. Those things are hard to kill.”

“Not really. They die just as easily as anything else. One bullet is all it takes.” I leaned on the bar with both hands. “Now are you going to tell me what’s going on with you? Do you have some kind of resistance movement going on or something? What’s the deal?”

Melchior gestured toward the back. “Let’s go back there, then we can discuss it.”

“I thought you said it was safe here? Our people and stuff.”

His face turned serious. “It is, but I won’t be caught discussing this topic should someone who isn’t part of our people walk in. Though that rarely happens.”

“It’s the stupid door, isn’t it?”

At that he grinned. “People hate that door. Works exactly as intended. Keeps most people who have no business here out. Especially those of the Church kind, they don’t like to be inconvenienced, even if it’s something as small as bending to get through a door.”

Figures.