Chapter 69: Like a Dragon

"Haaa..." Nio stops in a cave, holding the crystal in her hands. She looks at her nails — grown out and extremely sharp, slightly curved forward like hooks meant to sink in, grab, and tear flesh when she seized the crystal.

But they’re also highly elastic, straightening out when she opens her hand, designed to pierce prey. A physical change she’s experiencing for the first time.

’What the hell is wrong with my body?’ she asks herself, her hands trembling. She had already accepted that she would be evil. From the very beginning, she had fully chosen and embraced the role of a villain.

Even if she killed real people and not mere game NPCs. Yet even choosing to be evil, she still believed in her so-called humanity.

"[...]" She stores the crystal in her inventory to keep such an important item safe while she leans back against a wall. The dark, damp environment calms her body a little, her racing heart slowly settling.

"...No... I’m fine. There’s nothing wrong. They were just random monsters. What’s the problem with just blowing everything up? I always killed monsters in the game... it’s just XP, just farming items or whatever," she says, running a hand over her forehead, which involuntarily just ends up smearing more blood across her face.

’[Really? That excuse makes you sound pathetic, Nio.]’ Nioh speaks with a tone of deep disappointment, a tone Nio can easily feel in her voice.

"...Why are you talking so much? Before you didn’t say anything and even said you didn’t want to interfere, so why are you so chatty today?" Nio places her hands on the wall in front of her, making her nails gouge deep into the cave rock.

’[If you keep using the nightmare flames, you’ll alert Typhon. She recognizes the traces of that attack — they’re very distinctive. The black, gray, and purple sand are obvious signs of attacks only our race does. And of course I’m talking a lot because I’m afraid you’ll lose your nerve and give up on everything.]’

"Leave me alone. What’s wrong with me thinking like that? It’s my choice. The way I see other people is something that depends entirely on me!!! I’m still going to take over the world, protect my palace, and destroy Typhon!!"

’[Your choice is terrible. I’m not saying it for moral reasons — it’s just cowardice. Just admit it already. They were people. You killed them because you’re a monster, and you’re not happy realizing you don’t have as much control as you try to pretend. You’re a control freak, and now you’re without control, so you’re stressed.]’

"I am not a control freak! Don’t make stuff up. I’m normal!!"

’[Oh sure, you’re normal. I totally believe that. Just give it up, Nio. You are and always have been a control freak, even before ending up in this body. Your castle, your plans, your attitude toward your ’NPCs’ — all of that is control. Obsessive, blatant, and almost too much. But this isn’t a game where you can predict other people’s reactions. Going into a fight expecting combat and finding a family man who chose adoption left you with a deep emptiness and rage.]’

’[For someone so controlling, the lack of control is simply unbearable. Of course, ’human.’ You’re very human after obliterating a small village of innocent beings. I don’t control what you believe, but it’s tragic that you actually believe you’re human.]’

"I thought you were on my side..." Nio murmurs, turning her back to the wall. She slides down, falling to the ground and sitting on it while her tail curls protectively around her body.

’[I am. That’s why I’m being honest. Stop being so pathetic. I hate seeing you like this. It makes me look weak, and I am not weak. Typhon is more than enough for me.]’

"..." Nio spreads her wings, shrinking against the wall as she watches drops of water dripping from the ceiling, the cold of the place seeping into her smooth skin.

"Fuck... why was I the only person who played that game to show up here?!" Nio murmurs the question more as a complaint, but Nioh, who isn’t so good at noticing it’s just venting, decides to answer.

’[Only people who deeply connected to my world became one with their ’avatars.’ That reflects in you, who purposefully inserted yourself into my world’s story, and in some people you called GMs and admins. But most of them died in the mass extinction that happened. Though I see some of them fell into this world in the past. Lucky people.]’

"...Thanks for the answer," she says sarcastically, rolling her eyes as she avoids putting her hand to her face again, not just because they’re covered in blood, but also to avoid scratching herself with them.

’[You’re not going to give up, are you?!]’

"No... I’m still going to do what I have to do. Giving up would be letting Typhon win, and honestly, after what she said she did to you, letting Typhon have me is the absolute worst of the worst things that could happen."

"[...]"

"I guess... you’re right... I’m obviously the problem. I can’t use my race as an excuse... maybe I’ve always been like this? So I’m just naturally bad or something... yeah... I’ve always been selfish. The fact that I scammed girls and guys for items kind of makes that clear..."

"I guess I took the role too seriously and forgot it reflected my personality..." Nio realizes that maybe she’s always been a bad person, and that this new world, her new body, and her new powers are just revealing something ugly she already had.

Obviously she wouldn’t have had the guts to kill someone in cold blood before. That is indeed a new change. But it’s only a change that happened because she was already bad before.

’[Well, it’s great that you see you were never a little goody-goody. Now get out of this cave, get back to work, and kill that bitch Typhon. We’ll dominate this world, recover our original power, and live a perfect life!]’

"..."

’[Now that you’re feeling better, how about accepting your dragon side a little more? You’ve been instinctively avoiding it! Let yourself be like a dragon! Don’t fight it, don’t call it disgusting, and you’ll see you’ll discover some very useful things.]’ Nioh’s tone is manipulative, trying to guide Nio to be closer to what Nioh considers useful.

"Yeah..." Nio looks at the claws on her hands. She tries to retract them, which ends up being far less difficult than she expected. She starts following some of the physical cues Nioh gives her, accepting this dragon side of herself better, since lying to herself no longer works after what she’s done.