Chapter 211 — Confession

Irina

Asia-san looked confused.

“What do you mean that it wasn’t the ability’s fault?” Xenovia asked. “You were under her Dream’s Voice ability’s influence, right?”

“I was… but the last order she gave was too open-ended. ‘Do something even if it's something you normally wouldn’t.’ And when she said that, she was the only thing I could focus on.”

“I know what you mean, Irina-san. Yuki-san’s ability has a quality to it that entrances you,” Yuuto-san said. “I noticed it while helping her practice with it. That entrancing effect is likely to make it harder to break free of the ability. But why would that have made you react that way?”

I let out a sigh.

“It wasn’t Yuki-san’s influence. It was because of me.”

I could hear Asia-san shift slightly while sitting next to me.

“What do you mean?” Yuuto-san asked in a gentle tone.

I stared harder at the game board.

I couldn’t look at any of them right now.

If I did, I might not be able to say everything I wanted to.

So I focused on the small plastic soldiers on the board.

I closed my eyes for a moment before replying.

“I’ve had…” I felt my face heat up as I started to speak. “I’ve had impure thoughts about other girls before.”

I glanced up at my friends to see how they reacted.

Asia-san blinked and looked surprised.

Xenovia tilted her head, but her expression hadn’t changed.

Yuuto-san’s expression became more attentive but stayed calm.

That was good.

No one was disgusted by me yet.

I pushed ahead before I lost my nerve.

“They’re something that I’ve had for some time. And… And I’ve had them for Yuki-san too. I know that it's wrong, and I’ve tried to stop those thoughts. I-I mean, I barely know her. We haven’t even really talked that much. But I can’t stop thinking sinful thoughts when I look at her. And then I volunteered to test her ability because I wanted to help, and-and then it made me do that- well, it wasn’t her ability, it was me, and—“

I covered my face with both hands to stop my rambling.

My face felt hot and was probably completely red.

The room was silent for a few seconds after I finished speaking.

Yuuto-san was the first to speak.

“There’s nothing wrong with you, Irina-san.”

I looked up to see her smiling gently at me. 

“There’s nothing sinful or wrong about liking who you like,” She continued.

“There is!” I said, louder than I had meant to.

Asia-san jumped slightly.

Xenovia looked interested and confused by my outburst.

Yuuto-san shook her head. 

“It is wrong,” I said, my voice more controlled but still sharper than normal. “It’s a sin for a woman to be attracted to another woman. A romantic relationship is only meant to be between men and women. What I’ve felt is wrong. I pushed my selfishness onto Yuki-san and lied about it being her fault. And what’s worse is that it feels like I’m betraying my feelings for Ise-kun when I have thoughts of other girls.”

I took a shaky breath after finishing.

Now they know. 

That I had degenerate and sinful thoughts about other girls.

That I was physically attracted to them, and that was why I reacted the way I did when I was under the effect of Yuki-san’s ability.

But I liked Ise-kun.

I had liked him since we were little, before my family had left for Britain.

And it infuriated me that I could stop myself from looking at some girls the way I did.

Asia-san reached out and took my hand.

“It’s alright, Irina-san. Yuuto-san is right. There’s nothing wrong with being attracted to other girls.

“It’s not wrong,” she said softly.

I shook my head.

“But it is! You and Xenovia should know, as former members of the Church! Being attracted to the same sex is wrong and a sin!”

“I’ve never heard any of the priests or other clergy members say that while I was with the Church. Who told you it was?” Xenovia asked, then she mumbled to herself. “Maybe it’s a Protestant thing.”

“Father Lane, the pastor at the parish my family was a part of, told me. When I first noticed I was looking at other girls differently, I talked to one of the older members of the church who I was familiar with, and she told me it was wrong and to go to confession. I went to talk to Father Lane, and he agreed that it was sinful and wrong and directed me to confess my sins to God privately and ask for forgiveness.”

I looked to Asia-san to see what she had to say.

She looked concerned.

“I know that things are different in the Catholic Church and the Protestant Church, but the view on homosexuality is fairly universal. It’s something that was viewed negatively for a long time but recently has become more accepted in general. But it sounds like your Pastor was one of the people who wasn’t happy with that change and still viewed it negatively. It wasn’t that rare for certain clergy members to still look at it negatively,” Asia-san said with furrowed brows. “But those people are the minority now, Irina-san. You're free to be attracted to who you want. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

I looked between Asia-san, Xenovia, and Yuuto-san.

I wanted to believe them, but I’d been told for years that how I looked at other girls was wrong.

Yuuto-san leaned forward with a thoughtful look.

“Irina-san, what causes your wings to flash when you’re getting close to Falling?”

I blinked.

“To put it simply, it happens when an Angel harbors sinful thoughts. Why?”

“When you kissed Yuki-san, your wings didn’t change color.”

I felt my face heat up again, but then I froze.

Yuuto-san was right.

My wings had stayed pure white the whole time.

And an Angel Falling was controlled by God's system. 

I looked at Asia-san as she squeezed my hand.

“See, Irina-san? It’s alright. And if it’s still bothering you, you could always talk to Michael-sama or one of the other Angels about it.”

“Thank you, Asia-san. And you too, Xenovia and Yuuto-san. I think… I think this really helped me. I feel better,” I said with a smile.

Asia-san was right; I could talk to other Angels about it.

Maybe Michael-sama or Gabriel-sama would listen to my worries and talk to me.

“As for your feelings towards Ise-kun, I don’t think it’s an issue for you to find someone else attractive. And if you decide you want to be with someone besides him, that’s alright too,” Yuuto-san said. 

“I like Ise-kun,” I quickly replied, then took a breath and smiled. “That hasn’t changed. I’ve liked him since before I moved away. Yuki-san is very pretty, b-but as I said, that’s all. We haven’t really talked that much at all.”

I blushed faintly as I admitted that I found Yuki-san attractive.

I had thought so from the first time I saw her when we arrived in Kuoh searching for the Excalibur swords.

I had ignored it and pushed it away at the time, but then we met again and became classmates, and it was much harder to ignore.

“Well,l if you do decide to try and pursue Yuki, it wouldn’t be an issue anyway,” Xenovia said.

I tilted my head and gave her a confused look.

“Since she’s a Kitsune, the two of you can have children. I’m sure that would make it so Michael-sama wouldn’t have an issue with the relationship.”

Asia-san’s face turned red, and she covered it with her hands.

Yuuto-san chuckled at Xenovia’s bluntness and shook her head.

I felt my ears heat up.

“Y-Yeah. I-I forgot about that. But I’m still only interested in Ise-kun!”

“Plus, that’s not really the issue she was worried about, Xenovia,” Yuuto-san said with a small grin. 

“But it is important. Both Issei and Yuki would give you strong children. Either of them would be a good choice.”

Yuuto-san raised an eyebrow at Xenovia.

“I thought you were interested in having Ise-Kim’s child? I know you’ve asked Yuki-san too, but that seemed more like it was out of convenience of having a second option.”

Xenkvia frowned.

“Originally, I was mainly interested in Ise-Kun and wanted to be with him to have a strong child. But I realized that was short-sighted of me and that I was only making that decision because I felt lost after joining Rias’s peerage. I still wish to become a mother, but now I also want a partner to share my life with. Both Yuki and Issei are good choices, but I am going to take my time deciding on one of them.”

“That sounds like you’ve thought about it a lot, Xenovia-san,” Asia-san said with a warm smile. “I hope you figure it out and are happy.”

I nodded in agreement. 

Xenovia deserved to be happy after what she went through after being excommunicated.

Whoever she chose, I would support her as her friend.

“It wasn’t my idea originally,” Xenovia said, glancing at me. “A while ago, Yuki noticed that I was upset and came to talk to me about it. She suggested finding a partner I could spend my life with rather than just focusing on becoming a mother, and it stuck with me.”

“That does sound like Yuki-san. She is rather good at noticing others’ pain. Though she tends to ignore her own…” Yuuto-san said with a wry grin.

I wondered how quickly she had noticed my own discomfort with what happened between us. 

“Well, how about we set up the board game and play! We’ve spent enough time talking and should get back to game night!” I said cheerfully, trying to get everyone back into a fun and relaxed mood.

“Yeah!” Asia-san cheered and started setting up the board game again. 

We all worked together, and soon we were ready to bring out the game.

Xenovia took the dice and began to shake them in her hands as she was about to start the first turn.

“Say, is your interest in other girls why I would catch you looking at me while I changed after training in the Church, Irina?” Xenovia said as she rolled the dice. 

Asia-san made a strangled sound.

Yuuto-san dropped the game piece she had been holding.

“That’s not—I didn’t—I wasn’t looking at—I didn’t see anything—Well, a little—” I tried, and I failed to stammer out a proper response.

“How about we don’t talk about our last conversation anymore,” Yuuto-san suggested.

Asia and I quickly nodded.

Xenovia looked confused for a moment before shrugging and continuing her turn.

Yuki

It was several days after Odin-sama had inspected my true form. 

We were currently escorting Odin-sama to a meeting with the Japanese gods. 

It was nighttime, and our group was split into those flying through the air and those riding in Odin-sama’s carriage.

Yuuto, Xenovia, Irina, Baraqieos-san, and I were flying with our wings outside of the carriage.

We were placed outside to quickly respond to any attacks.

Everyone else, including Azazel-sensei, Rossweisse-san, and Odin-sama, was riding in the carriage.

The carriage was flying through the air as it was pulled by a large eight-legged horse, the mythical Norse creature, Sleipnir. 

The carriage itself was large and ornately made with runes carved into the woodwork.

It looked impressive and was hopefully sturdy in case we were attacked.

Everyone in the peerage was currently worn down.

We had been escorting Odin-sama every day as he treated his time in Japan as a large vacation.

We had accompanied him to an amusement park, various bars, a kyabakura, sushi restaurants, and anywhere else he wanted.

Most of us didn’t complain about how much we had to follow him around as he was an important faction leader.

But Issei still complained to Odin-sama a few times.

And each time, he was brushed off or ignored. 

Odin-sama seemed to get a kick out of bothering him.

Issei had been grumbling the most about the guard duty, but his main complaint was that we weren’t allowed to enter the places Odin-sama went and had to wait outside.

I understood the complaint, but that also would mean that we would have to spend more time interacting with Odin-sama, the old pervert.

Both Rossweisse-san and Akron were in the worst moods of the group. 

Rossweisse-san had been calm and patient with Odin-sama for most of his stay, but it seemed like she was getting fed up with his antics at this point.

And if she scolded him, Odin-sama would point out her lack of a boyfriend.

Rossweisse-san would get flustered or cry and then shut down for a bit after that.

Akeno’s poor mood was due to her father and his attempts to speak with her.

Baraqiel-San was still trying to reconnect with his daughter despite her lack of desire to do so.

Issei and I had both tried to improve her mood, and that had somewhat worked.

But her mood would also worsen when Baraqiel and I interacted. 

His dislike of me had become more apparent, and Alene had noticed.

I was used to being treated with disdain, so I didn’t care about it, but I avoided him to prevent Akeno’s mood from worsening further.

I looked over at the carriage as I flew a short distance away from it with my Devil wings.

I could see Asia leaning against the window, looking like she was falling asleep. 

Gasper-kun, Rias, Koneko, and Issei looked tired as well, though Issei also looked annoyed as he watched Odin-sama say something and then chuckle to himself.

Rossweisse-san looked rather irritated and began to scold Odin-sama.

He replied to her with a smug grin.

 Rossweisse-san spoke quickly while looking flustered and then began to cry.

Odin-sama must have brought up her being single again…

Azazel-sensei watched the scene play out with a relaxed grin.

Akeno was looking out the far window of the carriage.

She wasn’t paying attention to anything going on around her and seemed to be in a rather poor mood.

I’d try talking with her again after we finished escorting Odin-sama.

Hopefully I could improve her mood for a bit.

Koneko noticed me looking at everyone and gave me a small wave.

I waved back.

“Pay attention,” Baraqiel said as he flew closer to me with a frown. “We need to focus on our surroundings, not what your friends are up to. You’ll have time for that later.”

I nodded.

“Yes, Baraqiel-san.”

He narrowed his eyes at me for a moment before nodding and flying ahead.

He wasn’t wrong that I should be focusing on our surroundings, but I wasn’t entirely sure his reprimand was only because of that.

I would need to speak with him regarding his dislike of me.

I still didn’t know why he disliked me, and I wasn’t going to try and get him to change his mind, but he needed to stop being so apparent about it if he wanted to try and fix Akeno’s mood.

There had been a few instances where I had bumped into Baraqiel-san around the Hydouou’s house, and we had exchanged a few words.

It was nothing substantial, and he seemed unhappy to be conversing with me.

But Akeno had been present during one or two of those times, and she would cling to my arm and lead me away after glaring at Baraqiel-san.

I think that it only made him like me less, as his glare at me would be more intense afterwards.

I was pulled from my thoughts as Irina flew next to me.

“Baraqiel-san can be pretty intense. I don’t think you should worry about it too much, Yuki-san. I’m sure he’ll relax a bit after the meeting.”

She smiled warmly at me as we flew together.

“You might be right, Irina-san, but I think there’s a bit more to it than that,” I replied.

This was also something that had changed recently.

Irina had stopped avoiding me and was talking to me normally for the last few days.

It seemed that she had gotten over whatever she was still worried about from my Dream’s Voice testing.

I was glad that she was acting like her normal cheerful self again.

“I think Baraqiel-san should focus on being a bit nicer. But anyway, we should focus on our escort duties. We may have Michael-sama’s guidance, but—”

“Enemy ahead!” Baraqiel-san shouted. “Escort team, form up! Protect the VIP!”

There was a lone figure wearing a dark robe floating in the path of the carriage.

The figure raised its hand, and light flashed from its palm.

The Sleipnir let out a cry, and the carriage halted with a jolt.

Baraqiel-san, Yuuto, Xenovia, Irina, and I flew forward and positioned ourselves between the carriage and the enemy.

Now that we were closer, I could see that it was a handsome young man with dark hair wearing a black robe that looked similar to Odin-sama’s official-looking Norse robes.

From the carriage, I heard one of the windows open, but I kept my eyes locked on the enemy ahead of us.

I used my Veil Sight to inspect our opponent and saw that he had a massive amount of magical power.

The amount of power he had was even more than what Shalba Beelzebub had possessed.

My hands clenched before I made myself relax.

It wasn’t just our peerage this time.

We had two leaders of the Grigori and a Valkyrie as backup.

And I had trained myself to my breaking point for this exact scenario.

Then the man spoke with a smirk.

“Hello! Nice to meet you all! I am the Evil-God of Northern Europe! Loki!”

I saw Yuuto, Irina, and Xenovia stiffen beside me.

Baraqiel-san’s frown deepened.

This wasn’t good.